


Home, The Short Way Around

by RachelAMorph54



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Pete's World (Doctor Who)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 63,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24209725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachelAMorph54/pseuds/RachelAMorph54
Summary: This takes place very shortly after Rose and the Metacrisis Doctor return home to London (Pete's world).  The Metacrisis Doctor is settling in to the idea of an ordinary life with Rose.  Unfortunately, Rose is having doubts...And I'm sorry, really I am so sorry... It's going to hurt, but it won't stay that way, probably... You just need to read it to find out.
Relationships: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 26
Kudos: 52





	1. The Parting of Ways

The door creaked loudly as Jackie Tyler pushed it open and walked into her daughter’s flat. The living room looked very different from an hour ago. A bed sheet hung down like a tent from a hook in the living room ceiling. It was draped over the back of the sofa. Pillows lined the other sides adding structure to the fortress. She heard giggling coming from inside.

“I’m back!” she said to the sheet. Two heads popped out from behind it, a man with spiky brown hair and a young child with sandy blond hair like his father.

“Oh, look who it is,” said the Doctor. 

“Mummy! We hide from the monsters!” said the small boy with a huge grin on his face.

“Monsters?” said Jackie, frowning. “Doctor, what have you been teaching him? I leave for an hour and you’re filling his head full of nonsense.” She glared at the Doctor. Then she changed her tone. “Tony, come here sweetheart.”

“It was his game. I just made the tent,” muttered the Doctor a bit defensively.

“Bone monsters!” said Tony, his eyes were wide and his face serious.

Jackie let out a hiss of disgust, and threw up her hands. “Oh, I’m gonna kill Pete,” she said, “he let him watch the news this morning.” 

The Doctor let out a sigh of relief at having been spared Jackie’s wrath. He still remembered that time she slapped him, although that was a different face. _Well, this is a different face, even though it's the same face as another face. I better stop before I give the human parts of my brain a headache._

Tony disappeared back into the tent. Moments later, he darted out the other side and ran around the couch to give his mother a hug.

“Ready to go home?” asked Jackie.

Tony pouted. He raised his small small fists up over his head. Then he threw them down at his sides. “No!”

“You had fun with the Doctor didn’t you?” asked Jackie. Her son nodded. “And you want to have fun with him again, right?”

“Yeah,” he said somberly.

“Well, if you never leave how can you come back and visit?” she asked.

“But the monsters,” said Tony.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, mummy’s got you,” said Jackie, “I’ll keep you safe.” 

“No! Him!” Tony shouted and pointed at the Doctor, who was struggling to disentangle himself from the sheet. He lost the battle, tripped, and landed on the rug. Jackie looked over at him skeptically. 

“I suppose I should be more careful,” said the Doctor as he got to his feet and rubbed his knee, “Now that I only get this one body.” 

“He stop monsters,” said Tony, pointing again at the Doctor. 

“Oh, your mum can do that better than me,” said the Doctor. He walked over to them, and knelt down beside the boy. “Mums and dads are like superheroes,” he whispered, “They can summon amazing strength to protect their kids. And I’ve seen your mum in action. I’ve seen her tear down the walls of the universe.” 

Tony’s eyes went wide. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” said the Doctor seriously. He glanced up at Jackie, who stared at him in disbelief. He looked back at Tony “But, your mum knows if she ever needs help I’ll come running, and we don’t live far away.”

Tony threw his arms around the Doctor’s neck, and kissed him on the cheek. 

“Tony, go find Mr FuzzFuzz,” said Jackie, and the child ran off towards the tent. She turned to the Doctor. “Thanks for that, even if it was a lie.”

“Oh, there is plenty of truth to it. You and Mickey broke through reality and came all the way to the Dalek Crucible, and we both know that wasn’t for me.” He paused, tilted his head and gave her a conspiratorial look. “And do you think I don’t know who _really_ saved Rose during the battle of Canary Wharf? Oh, sure Pete came through the barrier but why did he do that? hmmm? Because I know you Jackie. You didn’t shut up, until he came and got her.” 

One corner of Jackie’s mouth turned upwards. “I suppose I didn’t. Still, it’s an exaggeration,” said Jackie.

The Doctor grinned. “Isn’t any good story?” 

Tony had emerged from the tent carrying a well loved stuffed something. Mr. FuzzFuzz had lost quite a lot of his fuzz. The Doctor hadn’t asked what the creature was but he guessed it was either a cat or a bear. 

“Oh good you found him. Now please come put your coat on,” said Jackie. 

The child reluctantly walked towards them carrying the beloved toy.

“Tony really likes you. You’re good with kids!” Jackie said to the Doctor. She crouched down and helped her son into his coat.

“Well, I should hope so. I was a father once a long time ago,” said the Doctor quietly. He’s eyes wandered to some distant point in the room while his mind drifted much further away. 

“Rose never said.” Jackie glanced up at him, before helping her son with the other sleeve. “Does she know that?” 

The Doctor nodded. “Yeah,” he said quietly, “I mentioned it once or twice.”

“But Doctor what of these skeletons? Are K-I-D-S, you know, safe? ” asked Jackie. 

“Hope so,” said the Doctor. 

“I would have thought you’d be with Rose at Torchwood trying to figure it all out.”

“You’ll have to ask Rose about that. She’s the one who asked me to stay home.”

“I know, but why?”

The Doctor shrugged. “She gave me some excuse about not being an official employee, but she could fix that, if she wanted.” He paused for a moment in thought. “It might be because when I’m around it’s harder for her to be the boss,” he let out a sigh. “Not that I try to get in her way or anything. It’s just people look to me for answers instead of her, because I’m well… me.”

“So what are you going to do with yourself every day then? Just hang about the flat?” asked Jackie.

“Hey, give me a break. I was only born last week. I’m still getting used to this,” said the Doctor. He walked over the sheet and unhooked it from the ceiling. It fell to the floor in a heap.

Jackie frowned. “I’m sorry, I suppose you're right. You’ll figure it out,” she said. “Thanks for watching Tony.”

“Anytime!” he said. 

Tony waved goodbye and the two of them left Doctor alone with his thoughts. 

It was strange having all the memories of a 904 year old time lord when he had only morphed into existence from a hand in a jar nine days earlier. This was the only body he had ever had, but he remembered having many previous bodies. He also remembered what it felt like to have two hearts. Sometimes the strange two beat rhythm in his chest kept him awake at night. 

Sometimes, like right now, the rhythm unnerved in the middle of the day. It caused him to wonder about his friend Donna Noble. She had helped create him. He wanted to believe that Donna was still traveling with his doppelganger in his old universe, but the beating of his single heart reminded him that was just the story he liked to tell himself.

The clock on the oven read “4:23 pm.” He smiled to himself, taking a bit of pride in surviving a perfectly ordinary day. There were times he even enjoyed it and Rose would be home soon, which would only make it better. He strolled from the kitchen to the living room and picked up the pillows. He carried the sheet to the bedroom, and stuffed it in the hamper. Then he walked back, and flopped down on the couch. Fumbling for the remote in the cushion, he flipped on the telly. He had tried the ‘keeping busy thing’ all day so he figured it was time to try the ‘sitting and relaxing thing’ that humans were so good at doing.

“Still no answers on the mysterious infant skeleton found in a locked book shop early this morning,” said the news anchor's voice. The camera zoomed in on the pram showing the skeleton wrapped in a blanket covered in blue monkeys. A green frog shaped dummy lay on top of the blanket. Pacifier, the Doctor reminded himself. They call them pacifiers in this universe like they do in America. “Police say no one has reported a missing infant and they have not yet been able to identify him.”

The Doctor switched channels. If they didn’t have any updates then there was no point in listening, especially if he was supposed to be doing the ordinary person thing like Rose seemed to want. Besides he'd watched the same program Pete and Tony had earlier that morning. He had been about to tell Rose about a potential cause of these skeletons when she asked him to stay home and specifically to stay out of it. 

He flipped channels until he found something called “Another World”. This British version bore almost no resemblance to the American show from his universe, not that he’d know because he’d never watched it. He’d only started watching it now, because the name seemed fitting, and as television often does it pulled him in. Two hours later he was still watching. They were doing a marathon. 

The Doctor just registered the sound of footsteps over the sobbing of the woman on the telly. Moments later the door swung open. He switched off the noise, and scrunched up his eyes. Then blinked several times in an attempt to clear the whole messy affair from his head. Then he reclined his seat, and tilted his head backward to look over at Rose. The flat was open-concept. The kitchen and living room merged together so he could see her at the counter rummaging through bags. 

“Hello, how was work?” he asked. He noticed the grocery bags on the counter.

“Fine,” said Rose, but she didn’t look over at him. 

“Was the store busy?” asked the Doctor, “You know you could have phoned me. I could have gone.”

“It’s fine,” said Rose. She continued to put stuff in the cupboards, and still didn’t look over at him.

The Doctor turned back around. He leaned forward to close the recliner with a click. “Good. Fine. Great. Brilliant!” said the Doctor in short clipped breaths.

“What are you on about?” asked Rose.

“I might have been born last week, but I’m not an idiot,” said the Doctor as he got up from the sofa and stood in the living room facing her. “I know _fine_. I know what that means, and just in case I needed reminding, I spent the last two hours watching daytime soaps.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. Work was fine. I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong,” said Rose. She glanced in his direction, but she looked past him rather than at him.

“Yes, I know, but you could have said ‘good’ and you didn’t,” said the Doctor as he casually strolled into the kitchen. “I use the word _fine_ too, you know. It’s not a woman’s exclusive, like everyone seems to believe. I’ve used it. Sometimes I use ‘alright’ and rarely do I mean it.” 

“Okay Sigmund Freud,” said Rose, “but sometimes a banana is just a banana.” She placed a bunch of bananas on the counter as she said this.

“Not this time,” said the Doctor staring at her, “I can tell.”

“Look, there’s nothing wrong!” said Rose. She rummaged through the last grocery bag pulling out food that needed to be kept cold. “It was an ordinary day. Well, as ordinary as you get at Torchwood.” She stuffed some frozen dinners in the freezer without making eye contact. “How was your day?”

“Oh, we’re doing the how was your day thing?” The Doctor grinned. “Brilliant! Been years since I’ve done that!” He tilted his head. “Well, centuries… My day was good. You know, apart from my girlfriend telling me to stop crashing her work. I bought some clothes, cleaned the loo. You should see it! It’s sparkling now. I bet Mickey never did that for you.” Rose shot him a look, but said nothing. 

“Your mum stopped by, and I looked after Tony for a bit. We built a fort, and hid from the monsters! Oh, and before that I went for a walk,” continued the Doctor, “I met one of our neighbors. Do you know, Fredrick? The elderly man walks with a cane?”

“Yeah, nice man,” said Rose. 

The Doctor grinned. “Do you know what he does every afternoon? He picks up litter. The man struggles to climb stairs. Yet he walks the block every day, and bends over collecting stray bits of rubbish. I gave him a hand. Fredrick Freeman, an ordinary man, saving the universe one piece of rubbish at a time. I think it’s brilliant! Human beings, and I’m one of them now. Look at me! What do you think?”

Rose finally did more than glance at him and when she did her mouth hung open. Rose’s reaction only made his grin widen, but he didn’t wait for her to answer him. 

“Oh and I caught part of the news again. They still haven’t found anything on that second skeleton.”

Rose visibly shuddered. “Yeah, I know, I can’t get that little skeleton out of my head. I had my team look into it. We still couldn’t find anything alien so we turned the case back over to the police.”

“You know I could help, I was thinking-” 

“Just leave it,” Rose cut him off, “It must be some psycho human, who has it in for pets and kids. It’s awful but it’s not our thing.” 

“I’m not so…” The Doctor trailed off as he caught sight of Rose's expression. “What is it? What’s wrong?” 

“You’re wearing _jeans_ and a _t-shirt_ ,” said Rose.

“Yes, I am!” said the Doctor, flashing her a grin. “It’s what people wear, isn’t it?”

“So that’s what you bought?” 

“Yeah, I left the card over there,” said the Doctor pointing at a small basket on the counter. Rose continued to stare at him. “Oh come on, you’ve seen me change worse than this, and I still got the same shoes.” He lifted his left foot and pivoted it around in a circle. When Rose shook her head, he put his foot back down and frowned. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, but the stiff denim dug into them so he pulled them back out. 

“I mean look at you! Jeans and t-shirt!” said Rose. She pulled out the remaining frozen dinner from a shopping bag, and absentmindedly placed it on the counter. 

“People wear suits to go to work. I wasn’t going to work. So, I thought, why not. What do you think?” asked the Doctor. He spun around. “How do I look?”

“Red’s not your color.”

“It’s maroon,” said the Doctor defensively.

“No, that’s red,” said Rose.

The Doctor shrugged. “That’s what the girl at the shop said. Anyways I got different colors. If you don’t like it, I suppose I could wear this one to clean the gutters or mow the lawn.”

“It’s a flat. We don’t do those things,” said Rose.

“Oh, but we will someday! You and me, a proper house,” said the Doctor with a grin. 

Rose’s eyes filled with tears quite suddenly. The Doctor’s eyes went wide and then his face turned serious. Sometimes he hated being clever, because it usually meant he was right even when he didn’t want to be. He really wanted to be wrong this time. 

“What’s wrong? Forget the house. We don’t need a house. This flat is nice. I’m happy here so long as I’m with you.”

“No. It’s nothing. It’s fine,” said Rose, but her face said otherwise. She sniffed back tears. 

“And there’s that word again. Don’t _fine_ me Rose Tyler,” said the Doctor, his voice had a harsh edge. Rose only cried harder and he instantly regretted his tone. He stepped over to her, and put his hands on her shoulders. “Look at me,” he pleaded, “Rose, look at me.” Her tear stained eyes met his. “I’ve done something to upset you. Tell me what it is and I’ll fix it. I’m sorry, Rose. I’m new at this, or you could say rusty.”

“You haven’t done anything,” said Rose, pulling away from him. The Doctor took a step back. “I thought I could do this,” She shook her head. “When I came home today I was going to try to keep trying to make it work, but I can’t. You look like him. You sound like him. But you’re not the Doctor.”

“What? Just because Torchwood gave me that paperwork with the name John Smith? My birth certificate puts me at age 35. Do I look 35?” asked the Doctor, trying and failing to lighten the mood. Rose gave him a look, and his face turned serious again. “Rose, I can be there for you, the way he never could,” he said, stepping close to her. He reached for her hand, but she pulled away.

“And do you want that?” asked Rose.

“Of course I want that! Why wouldn’t I want that?”

“You miss it. The traveling… the adventure… I can see it in your eyes.”

For a moment, her words silenced him. He did miss the TARDIS, of course he did. The familiar whooshing sound. The feeling he got right before stepping out those doors. He missed all of it, but that Doctor didn’t have Rose. As he looked into her eyes, he saw an expression he’d only ever seen once before, when he’d first regenerated into this form, a look as if he was a complete stranger to her. 

“Rose, I missed you. Traveling without you…If you asked Martha or Donna they would have told you. They knew. They were good friends. They helped me make do, but they never replaced you. No one ever could.” The Doctor choked back tears. “I don’t usually say goodbye. I hate goodbyes. But for you I burned up a sun, Rose, just so I could talk to you one last time.”

Rose shook her head. “No, he did that. He missed me, and I think he still does,” she whispered.

“He feels the same way I do. We’re the same,” he said matching her serious tone. She glanced at him and then her gaze fell on the floor. “But he left you here! He left! I didn’t! I’m still here!” His voice grew louder. “There’s a reason he didn’t say it back, and I think you know what it is.”

“Yeah, it’s so you could say it instead. He tricked us! He tricked us both,” Rose said between gasps for breath. “I’m sorry, I really am, but if you hadn’t been created, I’d be with him right now. I’d be there with him! You’ve done nothing wrong, but you're not him. You're just a reminder of him. I promised I would look after you, and I will, but I can’t do all of this!” She gestured to him and the flat with both hands. “I’m sorry. I thought I could, but I can’t. You can’t stay here. I need you to go,” she said again, sniffing back tears.

“I don’t…” The rest of that sentence died on his lips. _...want to go._ He breathed in sharply. It didn’t matter what he wanted. He wasn’t enough for her. His jaw just hung there until it slowly closed and turned into a frown. He didn’t move. For a moment he didn’t think he could move. He just stood there staring at her.

Rose reached for her purse on the counter and pulled out her wallet. She flipped it open and slid out a card. She thumbed it over a couple times and then handed it to the Doctor. “It’s a gift card mum and dad got me last Christmas. “It’s still got plenty on it. It should help you get settled somewhere.” 

The Doctor continued to stare at Rose. He took a shallow breath as he took the card from her. He swallowed, struggling to keep his composure.

“You’re serious,” he whispered. Rose looked down at the counter. The frozen dinner sat forgotten. Patches of frost on the outside of the package started to turn into small beads of condensation. The Doctor resisted the urge to put them in the freezer. This wasn’t his home anymore. 

“I’m sorry I just can’t,” she whispered.

“That’s it, after all we’ve been through? Take this card and start a new life!” shouted the Doctor barely believing the words coming out of his mouth.

“My dad can help you out if you need more,” said Rose. 

“That’s not what…” The Doctor swallowed. He threw the card back towards her. It spun and landed on the floor. “Keep it,” he said in a harsh hush tone. He turned and walked back over to the couch. He picked up the white shopping bag with the clothes he bought earlier that day.

“I’m just trying to help,” said Rose, “You’ll need something to get started. I’ll ask my team to see if they can place you in a job. Wilson found people who fell through the rift in Cartiff jobs. I’m sure he can help you.”

“I don’t need their help!” said the Doctor. He dropped the shopping bag on the floor by the door with a loud thud. He turned away and walked down the hall. In the bedroom closet he pulled out three suits, four ties, and a second pair of black and white trainers that he bought earlier in the week. He gathered up the pile in his arms and then glanced around the room, the room he shared with Rose the last week or so. It wasn’t the TARDIS, but it had started to feel like home. He stared at the bed where they had held each other the past few nights, where they had… he forced the thought away. 

Normally the bed was unkempt. However, this morning he straightened it and even fluffed the pillows. He thought it would impress her. The ordinary nature of it impressed him. He had lived many lives but none of them were like this. He thought he had adapted quite well to this new life. He dove right in, but it wasn’t enough, or perhaps it was too much. He was too human.

Giving into a sudden rage, he threw the armful of suits, and shoes against the closet door. The pile made a loud satisfying crack as the metal hangers hit the wooden door. _This is all_ his _fault, real Doctor, the Proper Doctor, the man who refused to regenerate properly, because he loved Rose, loved this form because Rose had loved him. Rose is right; he tricked us both._

“Does it need saying?” The Proper Doctor had said. Only one of them could say it. Only one of them could promise to grow old with her. The Proper Doctor had chosen for _him_ to say it, and he didn’t hesitate. He whispered the words in Rose’s ear, in part, to spare the Doctor the pain of hearing them. 

_I should have seen this coming_. _Rose broke away from me when the TARDIS door closed. She kissed me but ran after him._ _I heard the door, but I would have kept kissing her, and that was my TARDIS leaving me forever._

Rose poked her head around the corner. “I heard a crash. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s alright,” said the Doctor, sarcastically. “In fact, everything’s _fine_.” He picked up the pile of clothes and stormed past her out of the room.

“I’m sorry,” said Rose, following him back into the kitchen. “I was serious about Torchwood. I don’t want to see you out on the streets.”

“You don’t want to see me ever again. You’ve made that clear,” said the Doctor. “Don’t worry, you won’t. I’ll stay away.”

“I don’t mean _never_. Eventually I hope we can be friends.”

The Doctor thrust the suits into the white paper shopping bag. It crinkled loudly and the hangers made a small tear near the handle. He tossed the shoes on top. “How can we?” He shouted, “I have his face! How can you be friends with me?”

Rose frowned but said nothing. He went to the kitchen and grabbed the entire bunch of bananas Rose just bought. She bought them for him, and they both knew it. She said nothing as she watched him put them into the bag. The Doctor went back into the living room, picked up his mobile from the arm of the sofa, and stuffed it into his pocket.

“I’m sorry,” Rose whispered.

“You asked me to stay with you,” he said, turning around quickly to look at her. “I asked you if it was too soon, too quick. I asked if you needed some time to get used to it! You told me no! You said you were already used to me. You said-” he stopped short, unable to finish the rest of his sentence. Mucus clogged his nose, and the tears threatened to overwhelm him. “You said I was the Doctor!” His voice broke, full of emotion. His face contorted trying and failing to hold back the tears. “If I’m not him, who am I? Who am I, Rose?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.” 

The Doctor turned the latch on the door and picked up the shopping bag. He glanced back at her over his shoulder, and then he was gone. 

* * *

The door clicked closed. Rose could hear through the door the Doctor had run into Fredrick. 

“I’ve seen that look before. You're in the dog house.”

“I thought maybe this suitcase gave it away,” said the Doctor.

Rose ran into the bedroom to keep from listening. It hurt to listen. She didn’t understand her own mind. She had been happy, but this morning when she woke up it just hurt looking at him, and now it hurt just as much to see him walk away. Hearing him joking with the neighbor, pretending he was okay, almost made her want to open the door and pull him back inside. _No, he's not the Doctor. It's the Doctor you miss._ She was about to throw herself on the bed when she noticed how neat it looked. She never straightened the sheets unless she was putting on fresh ones. They had lay in that bed together. She darted from the room. 

She headed for the loo to grab a tissue. That also was a mistake. He was right, the room did sparkle, and it smelled like apple grass. The metal faucets shown for the first time in months. The mirror was free of all those nasty specks of toothpaste and water drops. If her eyes weren’t so full of tears, she would have been able to see her reflection clearly for the first time in weeks. Rose didn’t consider herself a slob, but she had been busy pouring everything she had into that dimension cannon, so she could warn the Doctor about the skies going dark. When she returned, she had been busy playing catch up. She had wanted to clean it properly for weeks. She didn’t even ask. She never even mentioned it. He just did it.

She grabbed the box of tissues, ran into the living room, and flung herself on the couch. The tears didn’t stop until she fell asleep.


	2. John Smith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor is searching for answers after Rose kicked him out. Who is he? What will he do next? Where will he find work? He answers some of it, but he still has a long way to go to find all the answers...

“I’ll have to find a job. A proper boring job, nothing like Unit or Torchwood, no place that is connected with Rose,” said the Doctor to himself as he walked. The zeppelins overhead glinted in the morning sun and the tall buildings cast long shadows over the street. People were just beginning to move about, heading to work. He ruffled his hair a few times with his hand. “Where am I going to find a job? Who’s going to hire me? I didn’t even exist in this world until about a week ago?”  _ I didn’t exist at all. _

The Doctor continued to ponder his dilemma in silence as the street got more crowded. The sort of people who talked to themselves as they wandered the streets were not the sort who usually found jobs. 

_ I’m the Doctor, I’m a time lord from the planet Gallifrey, the stuff of legend, the oncoming storm, I’ve stopped the Daleks, saved the Earth and so many other plants, and now I’m homeless in the city of London.  _ _ I’ve got no TARDIS, no money, no job, no psychic paper, no sonic screwdriver… no Rose.  _ The Doctor sighed, realizing what he had intended as a silent pep talk failed rather spectacularly.

He passed a rubbish bin with a discarded newspaper sitting crumpled on top. He picked it up and flattened out the paper. He was still surprised to see a newspaper at all in this world, but he supposed some people really were going back to the basics after the terror of the cybermen. The daily download was a thing of the past, and newsprint, at least for now, had made a comeback.

Flipping it over to the front cover his eyes immediately scanned for the date before realizing that’s not why he picked it up. Old time travel habits were hard to break. The main story in big bold lettering read “Zeppelin Bookshop skeleton is believed to be a hoax.” Reading the smaller print it said “Police suspect that both the infant skeleton and recent reports of pet skeletons are specimens stolen from…” There was a large streak of something that might have been mustard that blocked out the most of the next two lines. He shook his head, tossed the paper back in the bin, and continued walking. 

The Doctor’s single paper shopping bag crammed full of all his worldly possessions was starting to show the strain of the long morning’s walk. The small tear from yesterday had expanded and it didn’t take a time lord brain to know it threatened the integrity of the entire bag. If that weren’t enough, a car rode through a puddle and kicked up a wall of grime. The Doctor jumped out of the way avoiding the worst of it, but the bag and the lower half of his suit still received a fine muddy spray. He wondered vaguely how long he had until the entire bag gave way and spilled its contents all over the street. People glanced down at the bag as they passed, probably wondering why he had a bunch of bananas piled on top of clothing. They didn’t say anything, but he knew they were sizing him up.

It crossed his mind that he might be sleeping on a park bench tonight. He had spent the previous evening on a neighbor’s sofa, but as welcoming as Frederick had been, he had no wish to impose on the man further. That old man’s eyes looked as lonely and tired as he felt. He didn’t like looking into  _ that _ metaphorical mirror. 

_ Well, the weather’s nice enough. If it does come to sleeping rough I suppose I’ll survive.  _ He wished again he could just go back to his TARDIS, or flash his psychic paper, and book a hotel.  _ Technically I’ve never done those things either. Does it count if I remember doing them? _

“John Smith” he muttered, “I’m John Smith, not the Doctor, not anymore. I’m the man I used to pretend to be.” 

A blonde woman, about Rose's height and build, must have heard him muttering to himself because she eyed him suspiciously as she jogged past. Her Jack Russel terrier trotted along obediently at her side. 

He thought of all those times with Rose running, so much running from so many dangers.  _ This body never did those things. I’m John Smith, not the Doctor.  _ But his memories disagreed. 

John Smith continued walking with no direction in mind. He barely paid attention to the shops he passed, and almost bumped into a young boy as he dashed into a toy shop. A woman, presumably the boy’s mother, raced after him and hollered for him to stop. He smelled chips from the next shop over, and was about to go inside. Then he remembered he didn’t have any money. Instead he crossed the street, sat down on a bench outside a bookshop, and pulled a banana from his bag.

As he wiped off the flecks of mud from the banana and peeled it, he spotted the blonde with the Jack-Russell headed his way again. She had slowed to a walk and the dog now seemed agitated. It barked and growled as it approached the shop. Then it stopped and whimpered and refused to pass in front of the shop door. John sat perfectly still so as not to alarm the anxious dog any further. He avoided eye contact with the dog and instead watched the dust specks swirl in the sun beams. 

He considered attempting to communicate with the animal, using his telepathic abilities, but those abilities were not as strong as they used to be, or rather as strong as he remembered them being when he remembered being a time lord. Who knows, perhaps he was even giving off some low level telepathic signal that caused the dog’s anxiety. He couldn’t be certain of anything anymore in this hybrid body.

The dog owner tugged at the leash “Come on, Mickey!” the woman called. 

John fought to suppress a laugh. Then fought to suppress a wave of loneliness. It no longer seemed funny. Mickey had lost Rose too, and now he knew exactly how he felt. 

“Come on! Here boy,” the woman continued to coax and gently tugged at the leash. The dog suddenly bounded ahead racing past the bench where John sat. He took the woman by such surprise she ended up clinging on to the leash with two fingers, and then grabbing it with the other hand to keep from dropping it. He watched them race off down the street and begin to jog again as if they planned the entire thing.

John knew he was being stubborn by not accepting the gift card. If he showed back up at Rose’s flat and asked for help, she would most certainly give it to him and anything else he needed, but didn’t want her help. He was no stranger to starting over after losing everything, and starting over meant cutting ties completely and not looking back. That was much easier to do with a TARDIS than without one, and he wondered if maybe he had been foolish not to accept her help.

John finished the banana, tossed the peel in a nearby rubbish bin, and stood up. He faced the shop and stretched his arms. The lettering on the window said “Zeppelin Books: Where Your Imagination Takes Flight!” A short, blonde middle-aged woman inside walked to the front window. She held a large white sign with red lettering, “Now Hiring! Cash Advances Available! Must be willing to start immediately!”

John scratched his head. As the Doctor he rarely ignored a coincidence, and he figured John Smith probably shouldn’t either. He pulled open the heavy wooden door and stepped inside.  A bell chimed as the door closed behind him. He took a deep breath inhaling the scent of adhesive and wood pulp. He scanned the room taking in the vast collections of books filling every shelf from floor to ceiling. A ladder on wheels stood in the front corner to his left attached to one of those metal tracks so it could move about the room. The track looped the perimeter allowing access to the out of reach books. He noticed the sign on the ladder reading “employees only please ask for assistance.” He frowned. Oh how he would love to climb up and browse the top collection. He simply loved to go where he wasn’t permitted.  _ Perhaps if I get the job. _

“Hello,” said John Smith.

“Hello,” said the woman still fussing with the sign in the window. “If you need any help finding anything, just let me know, and I’ll be with you in a minute.”

“Actually, I’m here about that sign you’re putting up.”

“You want to work here?” asked the shop keeper as she turned around to look at him.

“Oh yes,” said John, “I love books. Thought it would be a good fit. You got anything by Agatha Christie?”

“Yeah, we got a whole section on- Wait a minute, you’re not one of them nutters?”

“No, I don’t think so,” said John, putting on his most sincere face.

“Trying to snoop around and find out what happened. Poking fun at me. No, it wasn’t just a publicity stunt like the new claims! If you’re after a story then you can just get out!” said the woman glaring at him. 

The Doctor gave her a baffled look but then he noticed again the mini zeppelin hanging in the window. “Oh, I am thick! Of course this is Zeppelin Books! I didn’t realize I swear to you. I’m just an idiot. Just a great big space dunce in desperate need of a job.” He realized only after he had said this, that perhaps this wasn’t the best way to go about getting hired. 

“Why are you so desperate for a job that you would work here?” she asked.

“Well, this won’t exactly help my case, but seeing as I’ve probably already blown my chances. I might as well tell you. I’ve got no money. Literally nothing in my pocket, no savings, and yesterday my girlfriend just kicked me out. See this bag?” he said giving the shopping bag on the floor beside him a nudge with his foot. “It contains everything I own in the world and the bag is starting to rip. I know, not exactly a stellar resume. I’ll just go. I won’t bother you,” said John as he motioned to pick up the bag. One handle ripped free and the entire mud spattered side ripped in two. All of his possessions now fell to the floor in a heap. He frowned and turned back towards the woman. “You wouldn’t happen to have a bag, would you?” 

The woman made a face half way between pity and disgust. He watched as she ducked behind the counter and produced two small shopping bags. 

“These are small but sturdy. Books are heavy, so I doubt they’ll rip on you but you’ll need two.”

“Brilliant!” he said as he took the bags from her. “Thank you!”

“What’s your name?”

“John Smith,” he said as he stooped to pick up the mess.

The woman raised an eyebrow skeptically. “How come I don’t believe that?” she asked.

“No really, that’s my name. Look, I’ll show you,” he said pulling his ID from his pocket. He held it up. “See, John Smith.” He grinned at her, a wide ridiculous grin. 

She couldn’t know the significance of this tiny moment, but his enthusiasm usually did one of two things: it either infected others or it repelled them. A hint of amusement appeared on her face as she glanced from his ID to his face and back again. 

“What are you, in your early thirties?” said the woman studying him. 

“35,” said John, remembering his Torchwood forged birth certificate, which lay somewhere beneath the clothes on the floor.  _ I guess that answers that question.  _

“A man in his thirties with no savings, no job, and no place to live?” asked the woman, her brow wrinkled. She looked at him as if she had just read a mystery novel with a cliffhanger ending and had to wait years for the sequel. 

“Why do you think she dumped me?” asked John. He slipped the ID back into his pocket and gave her a small smile. The kind of smile where his mouth was trying to be brave, but his eyes said help me I’m lost. It wasn’t an act, but he might have exaggerated the expression just a little, because for reasons he didn’t understand the pathetic approach seemed to be endearing himself to this woman. 

“Are those suits in there?” asked the woman, “You’ve just placed bananas on top of business suits?” 

John shrugged. “That's the last thing she bought for me. The bananas, not the suits,” he said. 

He focused on the details of the bookshop, trying to drown out the pain by ground himself in the current moment. He noted the care that went into organizing the place. From what he could tell, every book had a home on a shelf. Each aisle had neat little wooden signs, black with white sans-serif lettering stating what was down each row. That font reminded him of another sign, one that said “Police Public Call Box”. He shoved that thought away trying not to let any of what he was feeling show on his face. 

“So you used to have a job then?” she asked.

“Oh yes! The best job in the universe,” said John, even though technically what he did wasn’t so much a job as it was a lifestyle. He knew by the sympathetic look on her face that he was failing to mask the sorrow on his own.

“And then let me guess. You got laid off, and then she gave up on you, because you couldn’t provide the same life as before.”

“Yeah...you could say that,” said John, his voice barely above a whisper. He sighed and stuffed the last of his things in the bag. As he stood up his eyes fell upon the only disheveled thing in the shop, a small metal cart on wheels near the front register. It was stacked with bags and piles of books that he assumed were new arrivals. Curiosity got the better of him and he walked over to it, picking up a tattered looking paper back. “Oh, Wrinkle in Time. Brilliant! It’s been well loved. Still, the binding is holding. Perfectly readable.”

He glanced over at the shop keeper. “Sorry, I said I was leaving, didn’t I?” He put the book down and headed towards the door. 

“Wait!” she said as he stooped to collect his things.

He allowed himself a wide grin while his back was turned. By the time he turned back he rained in his enthusiasm. 

“Okay, John Smith. Why do you like a  _ Wrinkle in Time _ ?”

“Is this an interview?” he grinned “It is, isn’t it?”

“If it is, don't you think you better answer the question instead of asking your own?”

“Right, sorry,  _ Wrinkle in Time _ . Why do I like it? Oh so many reasons, adventure, time travel, mysterious beings, families are reunited, and the best bit is the universe is saved by an ordinary girl. It's my kind of story.”

The shop owner studied him carefully. “You appear sincere. I believe you  _ have _ read it. Okay, Mr. Smith, I’m desperate for help and you're clearly desperate for a job. So If you’re willing to work then...”

“I got the job?”

“Okay now listen, before I say yes there are some things you need to know. The girl who opened my shop every morning quit yesterday. She thinks I have something to do with what happened. Everyone seems to think that, but if you’re going to work here I need you to believe me when I say ‘I don’t know how that buggy got in my shop.’ I locked the door the same way I do every night.”

“I believe you,” said John.

“Just like that?”

John shrugged. “Just like that. You don’t strike me as a murderer, a liar, or an attention seeker, Ms...” he paused searching his memory for her name and then realized she hadn’t given it. 

“Rachel Mathews,” she said and stuck out her hand. 

John shook it. “Well, Rachel Mathews, like I was saying you seem trustworthy. Besides if you're going to take the chance on me, then the least I can do is believe you're not a murderer.”

A hint of a smile formed on her face before it turned serious once more. 

“Listen I’m having all the locks changed today. Come back at 2PM after that’s done and you’ve got the job.”

“Thank you! I’ll be back, I promise,” said John. He picked up the bags of clothing and was about to head for the door.

When he came back a few hours later, Rachel handed him the key and put him to work stacking new books on the shelves. One of the children’s paperbacks had some crumpled pages so he flipped through it to smooth them out. He could smell the book binding, glue, and paper. He took a deep breath. Then his own voice echoed in his head.  _ The smell of books, Donna. _ A chill ran down his spine. He suddenly really wished he had his sonic screwdriver.

“Hey, thanks,” said Rachel as she walked past. John gave her a confused look. “You fixed the dog-eared pages on that book.”

“Oh, I figured that’s just part of the job,” he said.

“Well it shows you weren’t lying,” she said, “You do care about books. The last girl was good, a real people person, but she didn’t care too much for books. Mostly she liked reading magazines.”

He smiled at her. “You know, I’m surprised you just handed me the keys. You know nothing about me and given what happened here two nights ago I don’t know if I’d do the same.”

“I googled you,” she said.

“You searched the name John Smith?” he said, eyeing her suspiciously. She sighed and looked down at the floor.

“Alright, no I didn’t. Sorry, my son, he works for Torchwood. He did the search. He said you checked out. In fact, he said you might even be the best man for the job, that you might keep this place safe. I pressed him for details, but he wouldn’t tell me anything else,” she said.

John frowned. Rose had introduced him to everyone at Torchwood and there hadn’t been anyone by the surname Mathews. He supposed she could be divorced or remarried, but his gut said probably not. Still, he couldn’t ask her about it without drawing suspicion on himself and she was already suspicious enough. He shrugged. “Well, I’m glad I checked out.”

“You’re an odd man, Mr. Smith. I just told you I invaded your privacy and you just shrug it off.”

“Please, call me John.”

“Okay, John, care to elaborate?”

“I’ve got nothing to hide. I don’t have any skeletons in my-” He grimaced. “Sorry. The point is, if it helped you trust me, why should I complain?”

“But what did he  _ mean _ ? Can you help?”

“Of course, I’m a helpful person.” He grinned. “Fixed that book didn’t. You didn’t even have to ask. And look I’ve alphabetized these biographies.” He gestured to the books lined up on the cart. 

She raised her eyebrows. “You know that’s not what I meant. There is something more to you being here, isn’t there Mr. Smith?”

Rachel’s skeptical expression grew more serious and he decided the direct approach was necessary. “I honestly don’t know yet. I just happened to be unemployed, sitting outside your shop, and when I turned around you were hanging that sign. Was it a coincidence or am I meant here? I don’t know, but I really am desperate for a job. This isn't some clever cover story. I don’t work for Torchwood.”

“I know,” she said. “You could never work for a place like that. Of  _ that _ much I’m certain.” 

John frowned. “What, you don’t think I have what it takes to defend the earth from aliens?” 

“I get the sense you're more likely to invite them over for tea,” she said.

He grinned at her, “Maybe you're right, but it depends on the aliens.” 

“John, will you please tell me? Don’t I have the right to know if there is something dangerous going on in my bookshop?” asked Rachel.

“Of course you do, but I don’t know any more than what’s been on the news,” said John which was technically true. He saw no reason to alarm her until he had more evidence. The vashta nerada might be able to manipulate a space suit, but pushing a baby carriage into a locked shop, that was beyond their abilities, which meant there might be another explanation and the wrong warning could be just as dangerous as the no warning at all.

“You suspect something, don’t you?”

“I don’t know, but if there is something dangerous here I’ll find it. I’ll keep you safe. I promise.”

“You couldn’t even keep your clothes from spilling out all over my floor.”

“Alright that’s enough about me. What's your story? In the golden age of electronic information why a used bookshop? Family business? Love the smell of books? What is it?” asked John.

“Both, I suppose,” said Rachel, “It’s my mum’s bookshop… or rather it used to be until she became ill. You see that’s why I needed to hire someone, fast. She’s in hospice.”

John frowned, “I’m sorry.”

“I visit her everyday so I need someone to man the shop. I’m really hoping you’ll turn out to be as dependable as you claim.” 

“You can rely on me. I promise.”

“I hope so because she always asks about the shop. If I closed early for even a few hours to visit, she’d take one look at me and know. I’d never hear the end of it.” Rachel sighed. She picked up one of the books from a shelf and opened it to a random page. “She believes people need to hold books in their hands, to breathe them in. I guess I do too...” 

John began sorting through some cookbooks. “Does she know about what happened here?”

“Yes, how could she not? She’s bed ridden and all she can do is watch the telly. Well, mostly she just listens. Cataracts…”

“Must be tough, not being able to read anymore,” said John. He moved some books around on the cart absentmindedly.  _ One life, just one life, and I’ll wither just like that. I wonder if anyone will visit me. _

“I read to her, sometimes.” Rachel's voice was quiet. “She had me read this one book, a strange impossible book, and from it she got this wild idea that someone would just sort of drop out of the sky and save her bookshop. I suppose it’s dementia, but the story gave her hope. When I tell her I’ve hired someone, she’ll probably think it's you.”

“Blimey,” said John, “That’s a lot to live up to, but I’ll do my best.”


	3. Rose Tyler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has an opinion on Rose's decision and Rose doesn't want to hear any of them... Also a bit more stuff about skeletons

Rose turned over and stretched, feeling that familiar sleepy contentment in the moment just before her hand bumped the armrest of the couch. As it did, and she realized she was on the couch and not in bed, that feeling instantly shattered leaving behind only the painful shards of what transpired last night. She woke up with her heart racing, stomach churning, and yesterday’s clothing sticking to her uncomfortably. As her stomach made angry noises, that logical part of her brain told her she should eat, but the thought of food repulsed her. 

She walked into the kitchen anyway, where she found the frozen dinner forgotten on the counter completely thawed. It smelled faintly of wet cardboard. As she picked it up, a voice from the hall outside made her freeze. It was the Doctor’s voice. She thought she heard the words “thank you” and Fredirck’s voice say “you take care now.” 

Quietly Rose walked towards the door. She peeked through the peephole and saw him walk past without glancing her way. His footsteps retreated down the hall. She let out her breath and let go of the doorknob she hadn’t noticed she was holding. Realizing she still had the soggy box in her hand, she thrust it into the rubbish bin by the door. 

Then she put the kettle on and braved the bedroom, careful to avoid looking at the neatly made bed while she changed her clothes. She texted Angie to tell her she would be working remotely today. She didn’t give the reason. The kettle whistled and she fixed herself a cup of tea, then settled on the couch and dialed her mum.

“Hi Rose!” Jackie answered. “It’s early for you to be calling.”

“Hi Mum,” said Rose, she knew she needed to tell her mum why she was calling before her mother launched into a story, but the words wouldn’t form.

“Listen, I was going to call you but I know you’re always rushing around in the mornings. Will the Doctor be around today? I have some errands to run and he was so good with Tony yesterday. Tony won’t stop talking about-” 

“He can’t!” Rose practically shouted. 

“Well, alright, no need to snap about it. I just thought I’d-” Jackie stopped mid sentence as Rose sniffed back tears. She knew her mum had heard her. “What is it, sweetheart? What’s wrong?”

“I broke up with him, mum. I couldn’t do it. I can’t look at him when I know the Doctor, the real Doctor, is still out there.”

“Oh sweetheart…” Her mother’s tone conveyed disappointment and sympathy, but it only amplified her own grief. Again she sniffed back tears. 

“I had to mum,” she said defensively. 

“Sweetheart, I know this is hard for you. It was for me and your dad, but after all you’ve been through with that man-”

“No, don’t bring dad into this!”

“But why not? It's the same, isn’t it? He’s Pete Tyler, but he’s not exactly the same, now is he? But he’s still your dad. You both feel that way now. I know you do. It just took time.” 

“Is that Rose?” Rose heard her dad ask. “She broke up with the Doctor.” He didn’t sound surprised. 

“Rose, I know how much you love him. Give it some time but I think you’ll realize-” Jackie stopped. Rose thought she heard her dad say “Jacks!” 

And then her father’s voice was on the phone. “Hi Rose, it’s your dad. Sorry, I asked your mum to give me the phone.”

“You’re going to tell me mum’s right.”

“No, I’m not, Rose, this is something  _ you _ need to figure out.”

Rose shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. “You knew this was going to happen. You said we shouldn’t move in together. I should have listened to you.”

“I only thought it might be too soon. Your mum and I have been where you're standing. He’s identical but he’s not. It can take time to get used to, and... you can trust me on this.” 

“Pete!” Jackie’s voice could be heard over the phone “and you thought I wasn't helping!”

“Look, Rose, when I made that offer to put the Doctor up in a separate flat-”

“John Smith,” said Rose, “not the Doctor.”

“Well, whatever he is calling himself, the point is I was just trying to help. Maybe I came across too much like a protective father.” He sighed. “Trying to make up for lost time, I suppose, but I didn’t want to be right. I just wanted you to be happy.”

Rose sighed. “I know dad.” 

“Listen, if he needs help the offer still stands. I have the money, Rose. And after all that man’s done for the universe… Anyway, I hoped you told him that.”

“I know, and I did but he refused my help. I don’t think he’ll take yours. I don’t know what he thinks he’s going to do. He stayed with a neighbor last night. I heard him in the hall this morning. He didn’t knock on my door.”

“Did you want him to?”

Rose inhaled sharply, but said nothing.

“Listen, I know how you feel.”

“You couldn’t possibly,” said Rose.

“I know a little bit how you feel, because your mum and I went through a bumpy start too.”

“Are you kidding? You were like a couple of newlyweds.”

“We were at first, but you didn't see what came next, you were busy rebuilding Torchwood, by the way, have I mentioned how proud of you I am for that?”

Rose almost laughed. “Only every day since it happened.”

“Well, it’s still true! But the point is you were busy, you didn’t see everything that was going on with your mum and I. We didn’t want you to see it. Look, I’m not telling you what to do. There are no easy answers to this. I’m just saying I understand. Your mum and I are here for you, Rose, aren’t we Jacks?” 

The background noise increased in volume and Rose knew she’d been put on speaker phone. 

“That’s right sweetheart!” said her mother’s distance voice. 

“I love you both, but I don’t think you get it. It's still different.” Rose picked at her nails. “You both lost someone, but t he Doctor’s not dead.  I had to watch him walk away from me. He’s alive, and he tricked me!” 

“Well, of course he tricked you, sweetheart.” Jackie’s voice was loud and clear now. She obviously moved closer to the phone. “He’s an alien who lives forever. But don’t you see? He did it so you would be happy. How many girls before you have fallen in love with that man? Hmmm? How many got their wish to spend their life with him?”

“But I know he misses me and every time I looked at his clone I could see him missing me... traveling the universe while I’m stuck here.”

“Rose, you said it was never about the traveling. That the Doctor showed you how to make a difference and stand up for what’s right. You do that everyday at Torchwood, but now you could do that  _ with _ him.”

“Mum, stop it, just stop!”

“You know I’ve had mixed feelings about that man, but he loves you, and you seemed so happy this past week, happier than I’ve seen you in a very long time.”

“That’s only because I let him trick me, because I was stupid, mum,” Rose’s voice threatend tears again.

“You’re not stupid and I don’t think it’s really a trick. It's a gift  and you’re throwing it away.”

Rose ripped out the earpiece and threw it across the room. As an afterthought she pressed the button on her phone to hang up. Then the tears came, and she pulled her knees up to her chest and sobbed.  By the time she gained control over herself her tea was cold. 

* * *

Rose had been staring blankly at her computer for several minutes. She blinked a few times. By some small miracle she had finally combed through the backlog of emails that had begun piling up while they had driven back from Norway. It had taken several days and having been stranded on a beach with no car or passports hadn’t made it easy. Those 14 people who worked for her preferred emails to all other forms of communications. Most of them were introverted science geeks, so it didn’t surprise her when she returned with a flooded inbox. 

The phone rang causing her to jump and then cringe. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the name Angela Webber. Work was good. Work was a distraction. She didn’t want to talk to her family or John Smith.

“Hi Angie,” said Rose. She put her phone on speaker. Her earpiece didn’t survive her earlier rage.

“Rose, have you seen the news? The police are out of their depth on these skeletons.”

“Yeah, I  _ did _ see that they think it’s a hoax, someone stealing specimens at universities or something.”

“They allowed the book shop to re-open. It’s a  _ crime scene _ and they  _ allowed _ it to re-open!” Angie’s voice was full of judgement and a hint of ‘ _ what are we going to do about it?’ _

“Angie, look, it disgusts me too, but there’s no evidence to suggest it's alien.  _ We _ have no leads on this either.”

“Does the Doctor?”

“No, he doesn’t,” said Rose. She knew Angie well enough that she could picture the frown at the other end of the phone. 

“Oh, I just remembered, tell him we’ve got everything he needs to build his sonic screwdriver. Maybe that will help.”

“Er, okay. I will,” Rose lied.

“Rose, the troops are restless. They could use a pep talk from you or maybe the Doctor. This skeleton thing has everyone on edge. Maybe you could come in?”

“Sorry, Angie, I just needed a little space today. I’ll be in tomorrow,” said Rose.

_ I never asked to be in charge... Just because I found a way to knock out those few remaining cybermen now I’m in charge of the remaining misfits… _

“The Doctor is working on it, right?” asked Angie.

Rose felt the knots in her stomach tighten.  _ And they’ll never take me seriously so long as John Smith is around.  _

“Rose, are you there? Did we get cut off?”

“No, sorry, I have you on speaker phone. I may have... broken my headset.” 

“Oh, I’ll have another one on your desk for tomorrow,” said Angie with a cheerful nervous energy. 

“Thanks Angie, but you know you're not my personal assistant. I can get my own out of storage.” 

“Just please tell me Doctor has a plan for this skeleton problem,” said Angie, ignoring Rose’s comment.

Rose sighed realizing she just had to tell her. “Sorry, no, he’s not. John Smith is out of the equation.”

“Out of the equation? What do you mean, Rose? Why would he give up on this? You always said the Doctor never gives up.”

“That’s not what… Look, I broke up with him. He’s moved out.”

“You what?” Angie asked. Her voice was just as shocked as Rose expected.

“Angie, I don’t want to talk about it. John Smith is gone.”

“Oh no,” said Angie, her voice had lost it’s nervous energy, “You don’t think of him as the Doctor anymore. That’s what this is all about, isn’t it?”

“Angie, I  _ said _ I don’t want to talk about it. It’s just Torchwood, us 15 against the darkness. Same as before. I’ll look into these skeletons, I promise. We haven’t run the Collector yet, have we?”

“You think that finicky piece of software will help?” asked Angie.

“Yes, I do, because Wilson says it will work. We just need to teach it properly,” said Rose. She was thankful Angie had switched gears even if it was to complain about the AI software. 

“Wilson says that about all his gadgets.”

“Yeah, okay he does,” conceded Rose. She took a few few short steps to the window and opened it. It was a very sunny happy looking day outside. Not the sort of day at all that should be greeted by skeletons or heartache, “but I think he’s right about this one.”

“Rose, people are panicking and it's our job to do something about it!”

“Yes, I know, and because people are panicking there are a lot of fake sightings, more than the 15 of us can possibly investigate even if that’s all we did. Using the Collector should help us weed those out and give us an idea how widespread this really is,” 

“It’s just, you might have better results with Google.”

“Google? Are you kidding me?”

“I’m serious you're just as likely to have that stupid AI collect images of halloween decorations from decades ago.”

“I’ll weed through it Angie. I’ll teach it what to look for. It will give me something to take my mind off…Anyway, can you send me the most recent reports of animal skeletons? The legit ones that I know you’ve already found and categorized. I’ll start there and work backwards.”

“Sure thing boss!” said Angie, with obvious relief that Rose wasn’t going to ask her to work the software. “And Rose, if you change your mind and do want to talk…”

“I know where to find you. Thanks Angie!”

Rose spent the next three hours working with the  _ finicky _ program. Weeding through bad results and teaching it what she did and didn’t want. Angie had this expectation that anything called “AI” should do all the work for you, and if it didn’t it was garbage. In Rose’s travels with the Doctor she had seen many catastrophes because people relied too heavily on computers. They were only as smart as the person guiding them. Rose didn’t claim to be a genius, but she knew what she was looking for, and she knew what questions to ask. Sometimes that made all the difference. 

Around hour four, when the program finished running, a small smile crossed Rose’s face. Here at last was a place to start. She zoomed in on the map infront of her. Most of the skeletons were concentrated within the same eight city blocks. Some were found farther away as time increased, but the AI estimated the zone where they were likely to be found was not larger than 1.5 kilometers and the natural boundary of the Thames seemed to stop it. 

Some pet skeletons were found inside locked homes the next morning, some were even found inside locked cages with no apparent damage to the cage and no signs of forced entry to the house. There were just as many animal skeletons found outdoors, probably strays found in alleys or side streets, but the bookshop was near the very heart of the zone.  Her apartment was a half of a kilometer outside the zone. 

Rose shook her head. It still wasn’t much to go on, but now she knew it wasn’t widespread like some Londoners tried to claim with their fake skeletons and their images of roadkill. Fear did funny things to people, and now she had facts, not just fear. She forwarded the information to Angie and told her to cross check the news for any unusual activity in the area. 

Rose looked at the time display on her computer, 3:45 PM. She clicked once more on her email, but finding nothing new she sighed. There was nothing left to distract her. 

A door slammed and Rose jumped. Then she heard the wind. A strong breeze blew through the open window.  _ Just a pressure change. Happens all the time.  _ _ There are no monsters here.  _ She got up to check, and sure enough the bedroom door had slammed closed. She opened it and stuffed a doorstop underneath. 

As she walked past the bathroom on her way back to her desk, she smelled th e scent of applegrass. The memories came, sitting in that grass covered field just outside the city of New New York with the Doctor, the “new  _ new _ Doctor”, as he had joked. She laughed with him in that field reminiscing about their past adventures. Her friendship with him hadn’t changed with his new face. That day may have even been the beginning of something more. It seemed that in some way, she had always loved the Doctor, but this new man could make her laugh. The fact that he looked younger and had really great hair...

Rose shook her head in an attempt to clear the memory. Where did John Smith find a cleaner that smelled like applegrass? Had he done it on purpose? He probably did, she reasoned. It had been an attempt to make her happy which now tormented her. 

When she returned to her desk, there was an email from Angie acknowledging her email and assuring her she had the rest of the team looking into it. Rose smiled. That wasn’t Angie's job but she tended to see herself as the moral booster, and on days Rose was out she tended to act as a team motivator. Rose hadn’t asked Angie to tell the rest of the team, but she knew she would. Torchwood had become something more like a family than an office. 

Her phone buzzed and she saw it was a text from Angie.

_ In case you're out investigating and not checking your mail...I thought you should know the Doctor is renting an old Torchwood lab space. It’s in the thick of that map. I thought you should know since you might bump into him. He’s probably investigating too. Maybe we should share this with him. _

Rose groaned and rubbed at her forehead. She decided she was done for the day. Her stomach churned and she realized she had worked straight through lunch. She went to the kitchen and heated up a frozen dinner. The chicken parmesan tasted like most things that came out of a cardboard box bland, soggy, but eatable. She ate it, sitting in front of the television mindlessly flipping.  Angie was probably right. The next step should be to investigate those streets where the most skeletons had been found.  _ I don’t want to run into him… but that’s selfish. People have died and more might follow.  _

Tomorrow, Rose decided. She would hit the streets tomorrow and start asking questions. A lot of the shops would be closing soon anyway, and she knew the clues would be found in conversations with the people living and working in that area. 

A short while later, someone knocked on the door causing Rose to jump. She walked slowly and anxiously over to it. She grabbed the gift card that was still lying on the floor from last night and braced herself as she peered through the peephole. Her mother stood on the other side, and she wasn’t sure if she was relieved or upset. She had psyched herself up for another confrontation with John Smith and wasn’t prepared at all for another confrontation with her mother. She opened the door anyway, and her mother pulled her into a hug without saying a word. 

Rose let herself collapse into her mother’s arms. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have hung up on you,” she said.

“I’m sorry too. I was just trying to help, sweetheart. I just know how much you love him, but it wasn’t my place. You're right, it’s different from me and your dad. I didn’t have to watch one version of him leave me. I can’t imagine how that feels,” said Jackie. 

“He’s not him,” said Rose, her voice breaking. “I look at that other man,” said Rose between breaths, “and all I can think is,” she sniffed. “how the Doctor is out there. Alone!” 

Jackie squeezed her tightly and Rose sobbed in the open doorway not even caring who saw, because no one was around. Then Fredick opened his door, glanced at her and promptly closed it again. This is the time of day he goes for an evening walk, Rose remembered. She pulled her mother inside and closed the door, but didn’t let go.

“And this John Smith, I know he loves me, but he misses it too. He misses his TARDIS. He’ll never be happy here confined to one planet. I tried to make it work. I tried to love him, but it’s just too hard, mum,” Rose said thickly.

The two of them sat down on the sofa. Jackie rubbed her daughter’s back. “It will get better. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but it will,” said Jackie, “I’m here for you. Your family is here for you.”

They sat in silence for a while until Rose’s tears stopped. She needed to take her mind off it. Rose tried to talk about other things like how fast Tony was growing up, and the fancy new pizza place that turned out to not be very good. They talked about how people were starting to switch back to phones and even newspapers instead of downloading information directly. 

“The Doctor would be happy about that!” Rose said to her mum “Oh everything reminds me of him!” 

“It’s going to feel like that for a while,” said Jackie.

“He hasn’t contacted you or Dad, has he?”

“No, why would he? I expect we're the last people he wants to see.” 

“It’s just he’s got nothing except a bag of clothes. He didn’t take the money I offered him. Angie said he’s renting an old Torchwood lab space. I think- I think he might be living there.  _ Living _ inside a lab.”

“It sounds like you’re worried about him.”

“Yeah well, I’m allowed to  _ still _ be worried. None of this is his fault. I just want to make sure he’s alright. That he’s safe.”

“I’m not sure that man knows how to be safe.”

“Mum, you're not helping.”

“I’m sorry sweetheart, but you asked him to leave. It’s not as though he’s required to let you know where he is. I think you're going to have to get used to this. When you let someone go, you don’t get to choose how far they go.”

“But I promised the Doctor I’d look after him.”

“I never heard you promise that. I’m sure he can look after himself. Besides, he knows where to find us if he really needs help.”

Tears threatened to fall once more and Jackie put an arm around her daughter. 

“You’ll get through this. You’ve done it before and you’ll do it again, and I’m here. I’ll stay as long as you need me to.” 

They talked well into the night. When her mother finally went home she didn’t feel any better about the Doctor or John Smith, but she was thankful for her mother. She had her family here in this universe while the Doctor continued on alone. 


	4. Keep the Monsters away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Smith is doing his best to investigate the bookshop. This is more difficult to do as a man with limited resources then as a visiting time lord with a TARDIS who could leave once the crisis was over. He misses his sonic, among other things...

“Hi Rachel. Everything alright?” asked John as he peered around a bookcase. Catching sight of her face, he realized his mistake. He understood her blank expression all too well. “Sorry, stupid question,” said John. “I meant is there anything you need from me?” 

A week had passed, and he and Rachel had developed a rapport with one another. He was even starting to consider her a friend, but he still found moments, like this one, where he didn’t really know what to say. He understood her pain. Only, he normally avoided this bit. He always tried to walk away before his friends grew old. If he never saw their graves then they could be alive whenever he wanted to visit. _I’m going to need to get used to this, now that everything is happening in the correct order._

“I think what I _really_ need is a few moments of not thinking about it...about her dying.” She ran a hand along a sturdy wooden bookshelf. Then glanced over at him. Is that selfish of me, John?” 

He shook his head. “No, not selfish. Maybe you need a break from this place… from her bookshop.” 

Rachel sighed. “This place doesn’t quite feel like hers anymore. Did I tell you these shelves are all new? My husband and I finished the project six weeks ago. He did all the signs too.”

“I was admiring the signs on my first day here. Nice clean bold font,” said John, gazing wistfully up at black signs with white letters. “reminds me of home.”

“You say the strangest things sometimes.”

“Well, that goes with the name.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“My name, John Smith, it's too ordinary, so I have to be a bit eccentric to make up for it.” He grinned at her. 

“I don’t think you belong working in a bookshop,” she said, amusement creeping onto her face 

“No? Where do I belong?”

“In outer space, but not like the astronauts, more like in Star Trek. Where it's all temporal anomalies and transporter cloning accidents.”

“Maybe,” John said and found himself wishing he could get a reading on Rachel’s psychic abilities. He walked towards her and tapped on the bookshelf. “Hardwood, very sturdy.” He resisted the instinct to lick the shelf. Rachel would not appreciate that and he wasn’t sure his hybrid tongue would gain any new incite as to the chemical composition of the wood.

“A friend of mine gave us a discount on the lumber. I guess the wood wasn’t good enough for flooring, but it’s perfectly fine for these bookshelves.” 

“Did your husband build the ladder too?” John looked over at it. The shelves and the ladder were both stained the same warm honey color but something told him the ladder was older.

“No, that’s original. We built the bookshelves to accommodate the track for it.” She looked over at it fondly. “The one small piece that remains the same.” 

“I think the whole thing is brilliant,” said John grinning at her. “And you kept the best part. Love the ladder.”

“I better not catch you coasting around the store on it.”

“Not me,” said John, attempting to look serious, and failing. 

“Oh, but it is fun.” she smiled at him. “Every once and a while just before closing up I’ll glide through the store like I did as a kid, so like I said don’t let me _catch_ you.” 

“Right got it.” said John with a smirk.

Her smile faded. “The thing is, I haven’t told her that we re-modeled.”

“Why not?” asked John.

“It’s been the same since she was a little girl. My grandad ran it before her. I thought it would break her heart to see it all... modern.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you change it?”

“Oh, most of these shelves were warped, you get that with metal shelves. And they had some sharp edges, all these metal bolts sticking out especially in the children's section. I was starting to worry one of the kids might get hurt.” 

“Well, you did the right thing then.”

“But _am_ I doing the right thing by _not_ telling her?”

John frowned “I don’t think I’m qualified to answer that.”

“You’re no help at all.”

John shrugged. “You know her best.” 

“Yes, of course, your right.” Rachel sighed wearily. She looked extremely tired in that moment like the weight of her mother's bookshop was the entire universe pressing down upon her. Then she gave the bookcase a couple of taps and her expression grew into one of grim determination. “Well, I best be off, John. I promised her I’d be there this morning. Keep the monsters away for me.”

“Always!” said John. The bell chimed as she opened the door and left. 

There had been a steady stream of customers all morning which was good, because John liked being busy, it kept thoughts of his previous life at bay. A retired gentleman had asked for help finding a book on the highest shelf, so he had his first excuse to use that ladder today. A teacher had made a large purchase of children’s books to add to her classroom. That had been his biggest sale yet. Others had wandered into the shop in groups saying things to their friends like “I have too many unread books I have at home” and then they usually bought several more anyway, but as lunch came and went so did the customers. 

The shop was now empty and John sat at the front desk with his mobile in pieces on the counter. He twisted an ordinary screwdriver, his tongue sticking out in concentration as he added additional circuitry to the phone. This was his third attempt today to refine his crude scanning device. One by one he had added bits to the phone, but the casing was too small to hold it all, so he used bits of insulated wire and electrical tape to keep the device together. 

He’d been working on it for days and decided that it was more of a hobby than a necessity. He’d seriously doubted his vashta nerada hypothesis about two days into the job. The more he thought about it, the more it didn’t make any sense, and after a week, he hadn’t found one shadow out of place. 

Not every collection of books had a swarm of vashta nerada, otherwise books would be much more frightening, and people would notice. There would be warnings about bringing small pets in the same house with three or more bookshelves. No, most collections of books came from a variety of sources and therefore the paper was milled from different forests at different times. Vashta nerada spores tended to cluster together in a single tree or group of trees. The Library swarm he and Donna had encountered made sense. The entire planet was milled and turned into a library, but an ordinary used bookshop, like this one, shouldn’t have a swarm. Still, he did wonder about the skeletons. New pictures appeared daily on the internet. John had caught something about a labrador in the news this morning. He was just glad there had been no more infants. 

John gave the screw one final twist. He glanced at the door checking for customers before admiring his work. There was a shiny new adjustment knob on the side of the phone. He pressed a button and twisted the knob. “Lifeforms” the screen read. The number below kept fluctuating from anywhere 20 to 50 life forms. He sighed. He was used to that. It was picking up the number of people outside and in the nearby shops at any given moment. He twisted the knob that he had just added. It narrowed the scanning range.

Now it read a steady “1” for himself. He used the phone’s buttons to change the settings, and the number now read in the trillions. “Too wide a net” John muttered. Now it was picking up every microbe within three meters, including anything that was living on his skin. He pressed a few buttons then twisted the knob to refine the setting. It now read a steady zero as it had every time he thought he had narrowed the scanning criteria to pick up only vashta nerada. He twisted the knob ever so slowly to narrow it further, but it still read zero until it once again jumped into the trillions. 

He let out a sigh and began securing the new wiring to the phone with a fresh set of electrical tape. He couldn’t prove for certain his setting was tuned correctly unless he found a positive result, but he also wasn’t keen on finding one.

The shop phone rang and John had to quickly disentangle himself from some electrical tape before answering. “Hello, Zeppelin books,” he said cheerfully. 

“Yes, Hello, I was wondering if you have any textbooks. I’m looking for one on thermo-temporal mechanics,” said a female voice.

“Thermo-temporal mechanics?” repeated John, “thermo-temporal?”

“Yeah, none of the others had any either,” said the voice there was a hint of amusement and something familiar that John couldn’t quite place. “It’s just, I’m trying to calculate the safe terminal heat index for entering the temporal vortex.” 

John ran a hand through his hair. If this was a prank call it was very strange indeed. It seemed to be specifically targeting him, but nobody who knew his past even knew he worked here.

“You see,” the voice continued, “the phase inverter on this vortex manipulator is all wibbly wobbly and we think it's the heat sink.”

His face broke out into a grin “Angela Webber! You know vortex manipulators don’t have heat sinks. They have biothermal regulators to keep the wearer, oh never mind you were basically just messing with me, weren’t you?”

“Doctor! How’ve you been?”

“John Smith, it’s John Smith now.”

“Right,” said Angie, a little less confidently. “Well, I was wondering if you had any leads on these skeletons. Since you appear to be working at ground zero.”

“Sorry, afraid not. It would be easier with my sonic screwdriver,” he glanced at the kluged together device on the counter. “My current scanning device is... less than adequate. Phones from this universe just aren’t of the same quality.” _Like the hybrid brain that modified it._

“That’s because our universe jumped too quickly from phones to daily downloads, and when we switched back the technology just hasn’t caught up yet. At least that’s what…” Angie trailed off and John felt certain she was going to mention Rose. He heard Rose and Jackie complain about mobile phone technology on their walk back to civilization from that beach in Norway. “Oh, I have the supplies ready for you, I have for the past week… I just didn’t think I should mail them to your new address. It’s not the best neighborhood to have alien tech just lying around in a package.”

“You know where I work and where I live. Have you been spying on me?” he asked. 

“I’ve been looking out for you, Doctor. That is an old Torchwood lab space you're renting. I might have put in a good word with the landlord about you, got him to overlook the zoning restrictions, it’s not exactly residential, you know.” 

“I appreciate that, Angie.”

“As for finding out where you worked that was mostly an accident. We’ve been visiting all businesses within the eight blocks of the skeletal zone.”

“I’m sorry, _skeletal_ zone?”

“Wilson coined the term. Rose found…” Angie paused awkwardly which only made the name sting worse. “Well, she used that AI software and it identified the two zones. The prime hunting ground, for lack of a better term, is about a radius of approximately eight blocks fanning out from a central point. That central point may be your bookshop. Skeletons have been found farther away but less frequently. That’s the second zone which extends outward about 1.5 kilometers from your location.”

“And no one from Torchwood has investigated the bookshop?”

“I _might_ have popped in the day you were being hired and I _might_ have peaked at the computer while the owner was helping me _find_ a book. When I saw the name John Smith, well, it wasn’t hard to figure out. Torchwood decided to let you handle the investigation of the bookshop.”

 _You mean Rose decided to stay away from me,_ he thought. “I have been investigating, at least a little, but if I had known the bookshop was _really_ at the center of this…” _I would have spent less time reading._

“I know and I tried to suggest that Rose tell you. Look, she doesn’t even know I’m calling. She misses you. I think maybe if you…”

“No,” said John quietly, “She misses somebody else.”

“Right, sorry…” There was a long pause. “Look if you do find something about all these skeletons please let me know. I’ll find a way to get you the supplies for your sonic. Maybe that will help.”

“Thank’s Angie.”

“And Doctor?”

John let out a weary sigh. “It’s John Smith, Angie. I’m not the Doctor, not anymore.” 

“Well, John you're still a unique and complicated space-time entity and Torchwood is still here to help. Rose did make that clear, so if you need anything, just call me.” 

He thanked her and they said goodbye. Then he attached one more strip of tape to his gadget, sighed loudly, and stuffed into his inner suit pocket where his sonic would normally go. 

He fumbled in his other pocket and his fingers closed around the object. He frowned as he pulled out the brown lump. Most humans wouldn’t give it a second thought. It looked like an oddly shaped bulb or tuber. He turned it over in his hand. Donna had slipped him this piece of TARDIS Coral secretly. If he was really the Doctor, it would have reacted to him by now, but it was cold to the touch, and he felt nothing, no matter how hard he tried to reach out telepathically. _I’m just not time lord enough._

The shop was still empty 20 minutes later when John finally stuffed the bit of TARDIS back into his pocket. He had tried again to reach out to it, but was met with only emptiness.

He pulled out his scanner and hopped on the ladder, wheels rumbled along as he scanned the shop. It showed a steady zero as he zipped down the first wall. It showed a steady zero as he rounded the corner and zipped down the next. It continued reading zero as he reached the far wall and glided behind the counter coming to a gentle stop. To complete the circuit he jumped down and walked along the front of the bookshop scanning the book displays in the window. He walked down every aisle and after finding nothing he put the device back into his pocket just as the bell to the bookshop rang. 

A woman with a baby carriage walked towards him. She pushed her long ginger hair back behind her ear revealing a silver ear piece, but he noted with some relief that it was one of those ordinary headsets for hands free calling, not the kind that once been used to turn people of this universe into cybermen. Her appearance reminded him that he would never be ginger. There would be no more regenerations. He smiled at the woman anyway, and noticed the baby, dressed in blue, was sound asleep. He gave her his customary “Hello, let me know if you need any help finding anything.” The woman thanked him and headed off to the children’s section. She seemed content to be left alone, so John continued shelving the new books.

A little while later, the woman approached him holding a small stack of books. “I need an opinion on something, and I haven’t got much time before this one wakes up.” She gestured to her baby as she spoke.

“Sure, I’ve got lots of opinions. Ask away,” said John with a grin. The woman smiled back.

“I’m looking for a book for my daughter. She’s ten and says she hates reading. I’m hoping the right book will help change her mind.”

“Hates reading, we can’t have that,” agreed John.

“She used to love stories, I think what they are making her read in school just doesn’t interest her. I need something that will get her excited again,” said the woman.

“Well, what does she like?” asked John. 

“Fantasy, and science fiction, she takes after me, I’m afraid. She’s not a typical girl.”

“Are there any typical girls?” he asked.

The woman smiled. “No, I suppose not. I was thinking one or two of these.” She held up the small stack. “What do you think?”

“Oh, not that!” said John, grabbing the top book from the stack she was holding and tossing it down on the cart beside the front desk.

“What’s wrong with that one? I thought those were popular.”

“Everything,” said John, giving the woman a serious look, “Weak female characters, terrible analogies, flawed physics that isn’t explained by magic, and it’s more meant for teens,” said John.

The woman shrugged “Vampires probably wouldn’t interest her anyway.”

“Oh, _The Hobbit_ ! _The Hobbit_ is brilliant! Loved _The Hobbit_ ! But Tolkien is heavy on the descriptive writing, so it may not be the best book to start her with.” He flipped through the others in the pile. “Hmmm, maybe this one. Probably not this one. Never read this, I can’t say. Oh, I think you found it!” He held up the very same battered copy of _A Wrinkle in Time_ that helped him get the job. “This is a classic! I read it when I was 90- Nine, I meant nine. Maybe ten,” said the Doctor recovering from his mistake. 

He had read that exact copy over the course of a few days, and confirmed it was nearly identical to the version from his old universe. He could have flipped through its pages in a matter of seconds, but out of respect for its weakening condition he took his time. The differences in this version were superficial, so he felt confident in his recommendation as he handed it back to the woman. 

“I don’t think you can go wrong there. Plenty of mystery, adventure, and it has a female protagonist! The space-time physics aren’t perfect, but it’s got timey wimey concepts, and it’s a great big ol’ adventure through the universe.”

“Did you say ‘timey wimey’?” asked the woman.

“Yeah, it’s a thing I say sometimes. In the book they call it a tesseract. They fold space and time to travel through it. They get it half right, anyway. Well, maybe a third… well, more like… oh, it’s a good story. That’s what matters,” said John realizing that the woman was giving him a funny look. “And, if I’m not mistaken, it's a series.” He grinned at her conspiratorially. “So, if she likes it, then you can get her the other books.”

“It sounds perfect. I’ll take it.”

Before the woman could even take out her wallet, a gust of wind blew through the bookshop accompanied by a startlingly familiar wheezing sound. 

“No!” John gasped. “No way!”


	5. The Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the TARDIS arrives in the bookshop things get real. To say anything more would be, well... spoilers

A gust of wind blew through the bookshop accompanied by a startlingly familiar wheezing sound. 

“No!” John gasped. “No way!” That sound. He knew that sound.

An outline of new shapes and the hint of new colors blurred into existence like a double exposure. The bookshelves and register began to fade and these new shapes solidified taking their place. The TARDIS control room had materialized right around them. 

John gave his customer an enormous manic grin which did nothing to reduce the terror on her face. His mouth hung open as he looked around. The control room must have remodeled itself, because the room was unfamiliar. He didn’t like it, but the thrill of being back on board outweighed any displeasure at the new aesthetic. 

“No, no, that’s not right” shouted a voice. A tall man with grey hair had his back turned to them. He stood at the center of the room in front of a giant hexagonal console full of buttons, nobs, and levers. 

_No rubber mallet,_ John thought wistfully, but the grin refused to leave his face.

A tall glowing glass column ran up through the center of the console and down through the floor to the lower deck. The space was darker and the ceiling taller than it was the last time John had seen it. Above the console and attached to the glass column near the ceiling spun three metal rings. They graduated in size with the smallest near the bottom. Circular gallifreyan was inscribed on them. 

John might have believed this was a time lord from this universe were it not for the familiar warm gentle presence that filled his mind; this was his TARDIS, the very same one. _Oh how I’ve missed this…_ John ran a hand over the railing nearest to him. _I’m home._

“Not right. Not right at all. What’s wrong with her?” The man spoke with a Scottish accent. 

John had a fleeting thought that maybe that grey hair had once been ginger. Then a more pressing thought took over. The Doctor still hadn’t noticed there were three new people on board. 

He glanced over at his customer who was instinctively staring at John, the most familiar thing in the room other than her own child, her eyes wide, and her lips pressed tightly together. She gripped the pram so firmly that her knuckles turned white. “Where are we?” She mouthed, too frightened to speak. 

“It’s okay,” John said quietly, “It’ll be okay.”

“What happened? Where are we?!” The woman shouted, finding her voice.

“Not now Clara,” said the man at the console. He didn’t even turn around.

“Where are we?! What is going on?” The woman cried.

“I’ll let you know when I’ve figured it out,” said the Doctor.

“Um… Doctor?” asked John.

“Shh! Not now PE,” said the Doctor as he continued to adjust dials and press buttons, “Clara, if you’re going to call your boyfriend don’t put in on speaker.”

“I must be going senile,” John whispered to himself.

“Where _the hell_ are we?” demand the woman.

“It’s okay, trust me,” said John quietly, “You’re safe, I promise. Remember what I said about the Tesseract? Well, this machine does something like that.”

The woman’s baby let out a soft cry, and finally the man at the controls whirled around.

“Tesseract? Did you say Tesseract? Who are you people?” asked the man. “You’re not Clara! No, that’s right I didn’t bring Clara.” He said, his eyes peering out underneath his thick, grey eyebrows. “And a new human!” his face softened slightly as he spotted the infant. “Who are you people and why did you bring a new human on my TARDIS?” He pointed at the carriage. Then his eyes fell upon the thin man in the suit, and his mouth fell open. “I know you, and you’re definitely not Clara.”

“Well, I’m glad we got that cleared up,” said John. He reasoned this older man was certainly the last and final regeneration of himself, or rather what he would be if he were still a full time lord. A time lord got 12 regenerations, 13 faces total, so this should be the last one because the Doctor had used the 11th regeneration creating John Smith.

The Doctor wore a long navy blue coat with a red lining and blue slacks. His look was somewhere between simplistic and magician, but John had to admit it seemed to suit the new face. 

“How did you get on board my TARDIS? Wait, don’t answer that. The answer’s here somewhere,” the Doctor said and studied the controls. “Oh that’s it! I just need to invert the phase modulator!” He twisted a nob, pulled a lever, and the whole room shook. “Back you go! I’m busy!” 

The TARDIS wheezed, and shook violently. The baby carriage started to roll, but the mother caught it with one hand and grasped the railing for support with the other. Her infant cried loudly. John fell into one of the metal chairs and gripped the railing next to it to keep from falling out. “No, no!” shouted the Doctor clutching the console for support. He flipped the lever back up, twisted a few nobs and the room stopped shaking.

“But I always get it right. This face always gets it right. So why am I here and where is here?” The Doctor frowned at the controls. 

The infant wailed loudly, and the mother rushed to her child’s side. She stroked his head gently. “Shhh, it’s okay,” she whispered, but her voice trembled slightly.

John crouched down beside the woman as she rummaged through the storage compartment on the bottom of the pram. 

“It’s okay. I promise we are going to be okay. Nothing is going to happen to-” John stopped short as the woman pulled out a green baby blanket with blue monkeys, and a frog shaped pacifier. John’s eyes went wide. The frightened mother was doing her best to ignore John, but when he stopped abruptly she looked at him. He let out a gasp. “Oh no!” he said.

“What is it?” asked the woman. He stared at her, but didn’t answer.

“Doctor, you materialized around us,” said John. He stood back up and stared intently at the Doctor. “An accident, I’m sure, but we really need to get back to the exact time and place we left. Because if we don’t, I think I know what happens next, and it’s not good. I don’t think it’s a fixed point. We can still change it!”

“Either it is, or it isn’t. There’s no guessing. There’s no ‘I think’ involved,” said the Doctor. Still examining the controls. “You know _fixed_ when you see them. Anyway, you’re not going anywhere until I figure out what happened.”

“Do you know this man?” asked the woman looking over at John.

“He knows me very well, but I don’t know him at all,” said John. The woman gave him a confused look. “It’s complicated, very complicated. Think of the most complicated puzzle you ever tried to solve then imagine doing it in the dark during a fire drill. That’s where we are right now. There isn’t time to explain.”

“If I used to be you then how come I don’t remember this?” asked the Doctor, peering over his shoulder at John.

“No, you never used to be me, but I used to be you,” said John.

“You’re not making sense. Next you’re going to say ‘timey wimey’ aren’t you?”

“Please just answer me this. Have we _moved_?” John asked, his voice serious with a hint of alarm. 

“How come I don’t remember? I made a point to remember my past lives when I regenerated last. I should remember this!” said the Doctor shaking a finger in the air. 

“Please, it’s important! You tried to send us back. Have we moved in _time_?” John asked again, the panic in his voice now almost palpable. 

The Doctor turned to face him. “I couldn’t have just forgotten. I would remember _this_. What’s wrong with you?” asked the Doctor. He suddenly left the console and ran up to his doppelganger. He glared at him. “You’re not concentrating! That’s why I can’t remember it.”

John puffed out his cheeks, and let out a sigh. “No, you got it wrong,” he said, realizing he wouldn’t get anywhere until he answered the Doctor’s question. He raced over to the controls. “Look here on the monitor. You see?” he asked. The Doctor followed him over to the TARDIS console and they looked at the view screen together. 

“Those coordinates don’t make any sense,” said the Doctor, “What is BW at the end? English Letters aren’t part of the temporal coordinates so what is that?” 

“But it does make sense to you or it did. You tagged it like that. You almost called it Pete’s world then you changed your mind, when Rose left. Remember when you were me. Just think!”

“BW? Pete’s World?” He gasped. “No!” His forehead wrinkled and his eyes grew wide as he stared at John Smith. As if to answer the question the monitor flashed. The string of numbers disappeared and were replaced by two words.

“Oh, Yes!” said John pointing at the screen which now read “BAD WOLF.”

“But that means…”

“Human-Time Lord biological metacrisis,” the two men said in unison.

“But that can’t be!” said the Doctor. “How can I be here? The universes are sealed off!”

John shrugged “I’m guessing it’s been awhile for you. Probably just enough time that something big is threatening all of reality again and causing one universe to bleed into another.” 

The Doctor frowned, both with his mouth and somehow also with his eyebrows. “If there is, I’m not aware of it.”

“How long has it been since you were me?”

“I’ve lost track, but I’d say at least 1,100 years.”

“Over 2,000 years old? I don’t live that long? Tell me, I don’t live that long.”

“You’re human, of course you don’t live that long,” said the Doctor. “Wait, that’s not Rose Tyler, is it? That’s not… That’s not your child?”

John gave him an angry stare. “Okay, I guess not,” said the Doctor, “is that really what I used to look like? Such intensity, and I thought _I_ had attack eyebrows. It’s almost as if…” he studied John’s face “No, that can’t be it.” 

“You forgot Rose!” John glared at the Doctor like he was an imposter. “Where can you possibly be now that you’ve forgotten Rose Tyler?”

“Obviously I didn’t forget. I just temporarily forgot what she looks like. It happens, when you’re as old as I am.”

“The woman over there is ginger.”

“That’s right, Rose is all...” The Doctor gestured to his hair. “Oh, what’s the word? Yellow?”

“Blond!”

“Right, yes, see I did know that.” The Doctor grinned at him, but John did not smile back.

“Will someone please tell me what the _hell_ is going on?!” shouted the woman, “Why have you brought me here? Who _are_ you people?” 

“I haven’t brought you anywhere!” said the Doctor. “You just showed up in my TARDIS because you were too close to him! _He’s_ the anomaly!” The Doctor jabbed a finger at John.

“Listen, this is important,” said John to the Doctor. “Have we moved in _time_ since you materialized around us? You tried to move us. Did it work?” he asked. 

The Doctor made some adjustments on the console and the words “BAD WOLF” disappeared. The screen now showed the same circular Gallifreyan language inscribed on the rings above their heads. 

John watched as the Doctor clicked through the menus. Even the display had changed. He didn’t like how the information arranged itself on the screen. It shouldn’t be this hard to find the space-time coordinates. He glanced at his terrified customer and wished there was something he could do to make her less frightened. The sooner they got out of here the better.

“She doesn’t like being in this universe. Everything is sluggish,” said the Doctor. “But I found it. We’re in the same location but we’ve gone backwards in time, a week backwards to the early hours of last Friday morning.”

“Not a day I want to relive,” said John. He ran his fingers through his hair and frowned.

“Why not? Something I should know? Cybermen? Daleks?”

“No, nothing like that. It’s just-” The TARDIS door creaked open. “No don’t!” called John. 

The woman peered out the door. It was black outside, unnaturally so. The light from the TARDIS seemed to just stop at the door. The woman hesitated. Her baby must have spit out the pacifier because he started crying again, this time louder than before. The closer she got to the door, the louder he seemed to cry. 

“Stop! Don’t go out there, it’s not safe!” shouted John. He hurried towards her, but this seemed to frighten her more. She glanced back at him, hesitating for only a second before disappearing into darkness. He raced out after her fearing he was already too late. He heard the Doctor’s footsteps not far behind him. The silence seemed as abrupt as the darkness, and then he realized with an uncomfortable sinking feeling in his gut, the infant was no longer crying. From this angle, he couldn’t see the infant in the pram. The mother blocked his view. John ran over.

“It’s night. We were only in there a few minutes. How could it be night?” she asked him, fear creeping into her voice.

“Oh, look it’s only a bookshop how dangerous could it be?” said the Doctor. He walked up to them.

John Smith didn’t answer either of them. He stood beside the pram staring down into it, his eyes wide in horror. He breathed heavily with his tongue pressed up against his teeth. The woman hadn’t noticed yet.

“I tried to stop it but I couldn't,” John whispered. There was a tremor in his voice as he continued. “We were always coming to this. I was wrong, it was fixed.” 

“What are you talking about?” She asked, looking over at him. Then she noticed the way John was staring down into the carriage and her face flashed with alarm. She looked down, and her expression morphed into horror. Her mouth trembled as if she was trying to speak, but the words didn’t form right away. “Ricky!” she finally cried. “My son! What’s happened to my son?” She fell to the floor beside what was left of her baby and started to cry.

John knelt down beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he said, “but we can’t stay here. It’s not safe. The thing that did that, it can do that to us too. Think of your daughter, you need to get back to her... alive.”

“I don’t think it’s dangerous for us otherwise we’d be dead already,” said the Doctor. He eyed the infant skeleton with a frown. Then he pulled out his sonic screwdriver. When the Doctor switched it on the high pitch whistle caused the mother to flinch. The Doctor looked at the screwdriver for a moment. Then shut it off. “We’re safe for now. There aren’t enough of them. It’s not a big enough swarm.”

John stood up and closed the distance between himself and the Doctor. “This is _your_ fault!” he hissed. 

“It’s just like that other baby in the bookshop!” shouted the woman.

“It’s not _just_ like that baby,” said John quietly. He turned to look at her. “Your son _is_ that baby. We’ve gone backwards in time. Last week’s news story was about this baby. Same blanket, same frog shaped pacifier.”

“What?” asked the woman, choking back her tears.

“That’s why no one reported a missing child, because he hadn’t gone missing yet. We have gone backwards a week. So you saw that news story and then you became it. Because he brought you here,” said John pointing and glaring at the Doctor.

“What is that machine? What- What is that thing?” she shrieked while pointing at the blue police box that sat glowing in the far corner of the shop. “That’s where we came from, but that room- that room was huge! It’s like that folding of space. You were talking about it like you _knew_! Like it was real! I thought it was just a book. That stuff isn’t real!”

John sighed. 

The Doctor tented his fingers and pressed them into his nose. He gazed off at the darkness looking at nothing in particular. John could tell he was trying not to care, that this face spent a lot of time trying not to care, but the death of one so young broke that well crafted facade. 

John pulled out his makeshift scanner. The spike in life form readings told him the vashta nerada was still in the room with them. He adjusted something and the phone made a series of slow rhythmic chirps, like that of a geiger counter. 

“It does work!” He shouted enthusiastically. Then catching sight of the woman he made an apologetic face. He spun in a circle and the tone didn’t change. 

“It’s nearby but not hunting us,” said John, “We should leave before it does,” as he walked toward a bookcase the chirps increased in frequency. He backed up slowly, and breathed a sigh of relief when by the light of the TARDIS he saw he had only one shadow.

“Sandshoes,” said the Doctor suddenly. “You must have been here to investigate the vashta nerada, that news story you mentioned that’s what brought you here, isn’t it?”

“Sandshoes?” asked John he glanced down at his feet, “These aren’t sandshoes!”

“Will you grow up and focus!” shouted the Doctor. “You were here investigating because of this event which appeared on your news, but the TARDIS only brought me here because of you. You’re only here because of me and I’m only here because of you, a fixed and endless paradox.”

“There was nothing either of us could have done,” agreed John. 

The Doctor turned his attention on the crying woman. “I’m very sorry, but your friend is right, we should go. That swarm could grow.”

“He’s not my friend. He’s just some man who works in the bookshop,” the woman said, but she looked over at John anyway. “You said we’d gone back in time. Then my baby is still alive! I can still go see him, and I can warn myself never to come here!”

“No, you can’t!” said John, urgently. “You said you like science fiction. Then you must understand what a temporal paradox is. If you warn yourself you’ll damage time.”

“Yes, I know and I don’t care.” She got to her feet. “If I warn myself and I never come here then none of this happens and I don’t exist, not this version.” She guestered to herself. “Well, I don’t want to exist. Not like this!”

“No, but it’s worse than that!” said the Doctor, “He’s right it’s my fault, and I’m sorry, but you can’t. Right now we have a nice tidy closed loop paradox, but if you warn yourself, then we have an open paradox, a wound in time. You’ll rip a hole in the fabric of the universe. Everyone will be in danger. I can’t let you do that.”

“Who are _you_ to _let_ me do anything?” shouted the woman.

“What mother wouldn’t rip a hole in the universe to save her child?” said John quietly. 

The woman bolted for the exit. John, who had been expecting this, was only a half a step behind her. She just got to the door when John grabbed her arm. The woman swung at him with her other fist, but he caught her wrist. John saw what was coming next, but he wasn’t fast enough to avoid it. She kicked him hard and he crumpled to the floor in the fetal position.

The Doctor ran up from behind her, and placed his hands on her face. He closed his eyes. “Rest now!” he whispered. For a moment the woman looked drowsy like she would collapse, but then she stomped hard on the Doctor’s toe and twisted away from him. Her purse snagged on his arm, and fell to the floor. She didn’t stop for it. She ran to the door, twisted the lock, and disappeared outside. The Doctor hurried after her. 

John slowly got to his feet. He grasped at his thighs for support and took a deep breath. _That hurts worse as a human._ He was about to follow after them, but the glow of the TARDIS caught his eye. He grinned. Then he picked up the woman’s purse, stepped inside the TARDIS, and closed the door.

* * *

“No, No, No!” shouted John as the TARDIS shook and spun. He held tightly to the console to keep from falling over. Outside a blue rectangular box tumbled end over end along a sidewalk. The light on top smashed. People on the street raced to get out of the way and luckily they all did. It’s momentum slowed and it teatered for a moment on its base before settling in on the corner of a street. 

John Smith opened the doors and blinked in the harsh sunlight. He wore his old brown coat that he had found in the TARDIS wardrobe. The air was cool, but not cold enough he really needed the coat. Still he was happy to have it back.

He stepped outside. A number of people were staring at him. “Sorry,” said John, “the loo just fell out of the sky. I’m lucky to be alive!” He said pointing up. Sure enough there was a Zeppelin overhead to conveniently explain the problem.

Most of the people just stared at him. Some of them nodded in agreement. The two children didn’t. A teen boy in an Iron Man T-shirt held the hand of a smaller boy protectively and narrowed his eyes at John. A pug attached to a red leash sat obediently beside the younger boy and cocked his head to stare at John. 

The younger boy whispered something to the older one and the older boy’s face grew even more confused. 

“If that’s a toilet why does it say bad wolf?” the teen asked.

“What?” John turned around. He noticed the shattered lamp on top and winced. Below the lamp, the black sign with white lettering that always read “Police Public Call Box” now read “BAD WOLF, BAD WOLF, BAD WOLF” John gaped at it. He’d seen this only once before. “What?” 

He raced back inside and checked the monitor for the date. If the screen could be believed he had gone forward in time three days. It was half past two on Monday afternoon, but that made this very dangerous for him. He recognized this section of street. He walked it every day. He landed between the bookshop and the lab where he made his home three blocks away. If he didn’t get out of here before 3PM when the other version of himself left work there would be trouble. He adjusted the controls, but the TARDIS wouldn’t budge. The monitor just kept flashing “BAD WOLF” at him every time he tried to set the TARDIS to take him back. He sighed and stepped back outside.

Most of the crowd had dispersed. They had things to do and for most of them the TARDIS’s sudden appearance would be nothing more than a bizarre tale to tell coworkers around the coffee machine. Only two people and a small dog were still paying John Smith any attention. The pug whimpered and yelped as he tugged at his leash, but he kept his gaze fixed on something. The terrified dog might have run right into the road if the younger child didn’t have such a firm grip on the leash. John glanced in the direction of the dog’s stare and noticed the alley. He hadn’t forgotten the other dog’s similar behavior outside the bookshop on the day he was hired.

“So what’s really going on?” asked the teen, “Toilets just don’t fall out of the sky and they _don’t_ look like that.”

“Well, this one did,” said John, “Something similar happened the other day about-” He stopped realizing as he spoke, that this was the incident he’d heard about which is why the toilet excuse had been on his mind. He didn’t look at the kids. Instead, he pulled out his scanner. It chirped as he approached the alley. 

He peered around the corner and scratched his head. The vashta nerada were here, but they had obviously been all over this part of the city. Why bring him to this time and place? He hadn’t meant to steal the TARDIS. He meant to take a short cut, and help the Doctor. 

The woman’s name was Margaret Blake. John found her ID while looking for her phone which should have helped the TARDIS zero in on her location. Instead it brought him here. He pushed those thoughts aside. The TARDIS obviously brought him here to deal with the alley, and it didn’t appear to want to move from that spot until he fulfilled its expectations. 

John looked over at the telephone box as if it would suddenly explain itself. His eyes narrowed. The words on top were back to normal and the lamp had restored itself too. He looked back at the alley and his pulse quickened. That single heart thundering in his chest still unnerved him, but not as much as the dark shadow that had not been there a moment ago. All the shadows pointed inward toward the back of the alley, all except this one, which reached toward him in the opposite direction. The scanner chirped more emphatically.

“I don’t believe you,” continued the teen, “there has been a lot of strange stuff around here lately. People just ignore it, but not me.”

“Good,” said John, turning around to look at him, “What’s your name?”

“Bill, and this is my brother Joey,” said Bill gesturing to the boy with the dog. The pug whimpered and tugged at the leash in the opposite direction.

“And this is Wrinkles” said Joey pointing at the dog.

“Good to meet you Bill, Joey, and Wrinkles! I’m the Doctor,” said John. His old title slipped out by mistake. He didn’t bother to correct himself. “Now, tell me, do you notice anything strange about this alley?”

Bill stepped over to the man who called himself the Doctor. Joey tried to follow, but Wrinkles took two steps, and refused to go any further. The boy crouched down and tried to encourage the dog while his brother and John turned their attention on the alley. 

“Sometimes, like now,” Bill glanced over his shoulder at his brother, “our dog won’t go near these alleys, and other times he races past them pulling at the leash. It’s like he’s scared, but there is nothing there. I’ve seen it with other dogs too.”

“Okay good, now look down the alley,” said John. Bill moved forward, but John put his arm out to block him. “No, don’t go down there! Your dog is right to be frightened. Trust him!” said John. Bill stopped and gave the man a confused look. “Now what do you see?” asked John.

“I don’t know, some dumpsters and bits of rubbish,” said Bill, but then his eyes fell on a dark patch of ground on the far side next to the dumpster and his brow furrowed. “That shadow,” He looked up towards the sky and then back down. 

“Good, keep going,” said John.

“Is that a shadow? Because what’s casting it?” Bill asked. He looked up again for answers, and finding none he looked back at the man who called himself the Doctor. 

“It’s not a real shadow,” said John. “It looks like one but it’s actually-” John stopped short as he noticed Bill’s eyes grow wide. He was looking past him. John turned back towards the alley. The mysterious shadow had vanished.

His machine began to chirp even more emphatically and John pulled Bill away from the alley back towards his brother. At that same instant Wrinkles darted forward towards the alley catching Joey by surprise and pulling the leash clear out of his hands. Joey tried to follow but John caught his arm then shoved him towards his brother. 

“Stay back!” he shouted at them. Then raced after the dog and dove for the leash with both hands. His scanner clattered to the ground and shattered, but he got a hand around the leash and pulled. The dog choked as the leash caught him, but he came to a stop a mere half a meter in front of a dark shadow in the alley. Joey tried to follow, but Bill grabbed his arm and held him back. The dog barked angrily at the shadow, and John pulled at the leash dragging the animal backward. 

“No more!” said John, “No one else dies today!”

Wrinkles!” call Joey. “There is nothing there you silly dog.” He broke free of Bill’s grip and darted forwards towards the shadow.

“No,” cried John. He lunged to stop the boy but missed. 

“STOP!” Bill shouted panic in his voice. Joey stopped just before his foot crossed the shadow. Joey stared at it, John could see the gears in his brain turning. Even his young mind could tell this shadow didn’t belong there. 

“Joey, back up slowly,” said John, “Trust Wrinkles he’s scared of that shadow and for good reason. I’ve got him, he's safe, but you're in very real danger.”

“Listen to him,” cried Bill. “You’ve seen the skeletons.”

At that his brother gasped, skittered backwards a few paces then turned, and ran out of the alley. Wrinkles also decided to run back towards his owners, and John agreed with him wholeheartedly. The two of them ran back towards the kids. He handed the leash to Bill and glanced back at the alley. Sunlight replaced the shadow yet again. He considered going back for his scanner, but decided it was probably beyond repair and wasn’t worth the risk.

“The shadows are what’s eating pets?” Bill asked. 

“I’m afraid so,” said John, turning to face the boys. “Well, they’re not really shadows. They’re a swarm, a nearly microscopic swarm that can strip flesh from bone.” Joey stared at the man who had saved him, his face full of terror. “Your dog, Wrinkles, he was trying to protect you. He looked at Joey as he spoke. If you ever see him act like that you pay attention to the shadows. And you walk away from anything that looks out of place.” 

Joey nodded somberly. 

“Yeah, we will, of course we will,” said Bill.

“Good, and look out for Wrinkles because that swarm was hunting him. Normally they just lie in wait. Normally they gather, appearing as a second or third shadow, but this time some of them looped behind Wrinkles, scaring him into the alley while the others lay in wait. That’s not their usual style but,” The Doctor shrugged and then muttered. “Gingerbread house.”

“Wait, hold on! How do we know this isn’t part of some elaborate prank?” asked Bill. “Maybe you’ve got a friend nearby with a dog whistle.”

“Oh you want proof that your brother and your dog almost died,” said John with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “Very well, happy to oblige.” 

“You there!” John hollard at a man in camouflage fatigues who carried a take out container from a nearby restaurant. He hurried over to him. “What’s for lunch today?” 

The man eyed him suspiciously and then recognition appeared on his face. “Doctor?”

“Tiberius Bartholomew Wilson the third,” John grinned at him. “Blimey, there have been three of you with that name. No wonder you insist on being called Wilson.” 

“Doctor what’s going on?”

“I should have known it was you, really I should have. This hybrid brain of mine is thick.” John pointed at his skull with both index fingers. “Of course it’s you! The only scientist I’ve ever known to be so indoctrinated in the army that he still wears the uniform after three years out of the service.”

“This isn’t a uniform,” Wilson protested. “I bought this in a regular store.”

“Of course you did. Well, it would be you, wouldn’t it? Walking past, eating your lunch, completely obvious to everything around you. Well, Torchwood should know. Come on then!”

“Doctor? I thought you weren’t working for us anymore.”

“I’m not,” he said a bit testily. “Right now you’re working for me.” He gave Wilson a deadly serious look. 

“Well, of course I’ll help you, Sir, but-” 

“Good!” said John, flashing a grin. Then he grabbed Wilson by the shoulders and steered him towards the alley as the boys watched with puzzled amusement.

John grabbed the box of take-out from Wilson who protested weakly. “Oh fish and chips, love fish and chips.” John ate one of the chips then pulled out a strip of battered fish and broke off a chunk.” He looked over at Billy and Joey and then back at Wilson. “Now, watch carefully all three of you.” 

The strange shadow was back and John lobbed the fish at it. It vanished before reaching the ground. The children gasped. He lobbed a second piece with the same results. Then a third piece. It too vanished. 

“The shadows?” Asked Wilson. “It’s the shadows!”

“Yes, very good. Now you're a scientist, science it out. I’m busy,” he stuffed the box of food back into Wilson’s hand. Then he looked over at the two boys. “Your dog is smart, listen to him and look out for each other.” 

“Doctor, do we tell our parents? How will they ever believe us?” asked Bill. 

“It probably isn’t a large enough swarm yet to kill an adult. If they don’t believe you, if they think you’ve made it up, well, then they will probably blame me for filling your head with nonsense. People always blame.” John pointed at a CCTV camera “I’m pretty sure my falling from the sky will make the news and they’ll say it was a toilet, but what happens next will be strange enough to keep people talking for a while, and if that image gets out maybe it will convince your parents to listen.”

“Why what happens next?” asked Bill.

He winked at them, “Just watch.”

John headed back for the TARDIS and the kids raced after him. 

Wilson had pulled out an instrument and was taking measurements of the alley while eating his chips and tossing fish at the shadow. He completely missed the existence of the blue box out of sight around the corner, and would be surprised by the video of it later. 

John stepped inside “I’m sorry I can’t stay to help. There is something I must do,” he said to Bill and Joey.

“Doctor!” John knew that voice. It made all the aches inside him that he’d been ignoring all week roar to life in fresh agony. John looked up and saw Rose running towards him. He had, without realizing it, instinctively stepped towards her and was now just outside the TARDIS. “Doctor! You’ve come back!” she said. He forced himself to stay put, remembering who he really was, and that he was inside his own time stream. It had been nice to pretend it was the Doctor, but that was over now. He swallowed and stared at her. 

Rose froze, held in place by his pained expression. John took a step back even though he wanted to run to her. It would be so easy to pretend he was the real Doctor. The lie might even work for at first, but he knew he couldn’t. Even if the lie didn’t create a wound in time, Rose would realize who he really was when she lay her head on his chest and heard only a single heartbeat. There was nothing to be done. He continued stepping backward, his eyes fixed on her, until the TARDIS doors closed in his face with a bang. 

Rose ran up and pounded her fists on the door. “Doctor! Wait please!” she shouted. She tried the handle, but the TARDIS wouldn’t let her in. He stood there for a moment listening to her shout. Then he turned taking a deep breath and headed for the controls. There were more things at stake than him and Rose.

* * *

Bill and Joey thought they had seen the end of unusual things, but what happened next made their jaws drop and their eyebrows climb towards their scalp. The blue box that had dropped out of the sky made a sound like a robot gasping for breath. The light on top, which for some reason was no longer broken, began to flash as the entire structure simply faded out of existence. The blond woman who had tried to get inside and had been clinging desperately to the door was still there though. 

She wiped something from her eye and took a couple of breaths. Then she walked over to them holding up an ID badge. 

“I’m Rose Tyler. I’m in charge of Torchwood. Can you tell me what happened?” she asked.

“The Doctor saved us from the shadows!” said Joey.


	6. Paradox 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at Torchwood Wilson is very afraid of creating a paradox because he suspects he met a future version of John Smith. Angie is worried about both Rose and John Smith. Rose is worried about Wilson, Angie, and the shadows, of course. 
> 
> Mean while the Twelfth Doctor is panicking!!!

Present Day

Wilson sat at a brightly lit workbench littered with discarded and broken bits of alien weapons. He was tinkering with one of many identical metallic spheres, when he heard the lift ping from the hallway outside. He looked up to see Angie walking towards him. 

“Have you talked to our fearless leader today?” he asked. 

Angie leaned on the counter across from him and rubbed at her face. “Rose is still about the same.”

“Miserable and attempting to hide it?” asked Wison.

Angie nodded, “She’s convinced the Doctor hasn’t left this universe. She thinks that for _him_ to tear it open, there must be something more at stake than a couple of kids and their dog. I’d be inclined to agree with her if it wasn’t for what you told me.” Angie sighed. “Are you sure he said hybrid brain?”

“I’m sure,” said Wislon. “How many times are you going to ask me that? The Doctor pointed right at his skull as he said it, and…” Wilson put down the sphere and reached into his pocket. “I found this in the alley.” He handed it to her.

“A phone?” Angie asked. “What’s with the extra bits?”

“ _His_ phone,” said Wilson. “He turned it into some kind of scanner, useless now. I was able to retrieve the phone number, which wasn’t easy considering what he did to it, but there is no doubt that phone belonged to the Doctor, _our_ Doctor, the one we helped officially become John Smith.” 

He picked the metal sphere back up and began to tinker with it.

“We need to _tell_ her,” said Angie, placing the phone down on the workbench.

“We can’t! I’m not even sure I should have told you,” said Wilson. He snapped a small piece into place and a series of colorful lights flashed across the sphere’s surface like a blinking Christmas tree. Then it began to beep.

“Is it supposed to do that?” asked Angie. She backed away from him.

“Relax it's not a weapon. It's a scanning device, a really sophisticated one too. If I could get one of these working, we could find out more about these shadows, but mostly it just makes this noise and then shuts itself down.” Wilson frowned at the device holding it at eye level. As if on cue, the lights and the noises stopped. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say the machine just doesn’t like me.”

“What about all our other portable scanners?” Asked Angie, “we didn’t use _all_ of them for spare parts.”

“We have exactly three of the same scanners, and that one I had with me the day the Doctor showed up, was not sophisticated enough to let us see what makes them tick.”

“What do you think they are?”

Wilson shrugged. “I’ve got degrees in chemistry, astrophysics, and electrical engineering. I'm _not_ a biologist, that’s Dr. Sandermatch's area, or who knows it could even be a fungus. It might be a job for Shroom Girl.” He grinned at her.

“ _Don’t_ call me Shroom Girl,” said Angie. She glared at him. “I’m a mycologist. I don’t call you scavenger boy or hoarder!” She gestured to the clutter surrounding Wilson. “Even though I’m starting to think that might be appropriate.” 

“It's just a nickname,” said Wilson defensively, “Everyone has been calling you that for months.”

She looked at him. “Yeah, and it’s been bothering me for exactly that long, but we’ve had bigger things to worry about. I was too busy perfecting my _Shroom Serum_ ,” Angie used air quotes as she said those last words. “to counter the nausea and fatigue of the dimension cannon. Too busy protecting Rose, so she could save the Doctor, so _he_ could save the universe. I was too exhausted to argue.” 

“Angie, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it bothered you.”

“I’m a mycologist and I’ve worked hard to get where I am. ‘Shroom Girl’ is an obvious mockery of that science. The intention of that joke is to make me sound like a drug addict.”

Wilson opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, and made an apologetic face. “I’ll get them to stop,” he looked up from his sphere and met her eyes. “Angie, I’ll get them to stop.”

“Thanks,” she gave him a weary smile. “Now what do we do about these shadows?”

“I’d say we should call Sandermatch back from holiday. You know, get all hands on deck, except... I don’t have any data for him to study.” 

“He flies home today. Send him an email, anyway. Give him a heads up what we’re facing.”

“Already done,” said Wilson. He pressed a few more buttons on the sphere. It beeped and lit up. 

“Do you think we should ask the Doctor?” asked Angie.

“We can’t!” said Wilson gesturing emphatically with the sphere in his hand. “That man didn't exist two weeks ago, which means there is an extremely high probability _that_ was a future version of the Doctor. If he landed inside his own time stream that’s dangerous. We say the wrong thing and paradox!” 

The sphere didn’t appear to like being moved about, because it whined shrilly and then all the lights went out. 

“Yes, I _know._ Don’t interfere with your own time line that’s paradox 101,” said Angie with a hint of frustration in her voice, “What I don’t understand is how he has the TARDIS to even create a potential paradox in the first place. He can’t have the TARDIS. It doesn’t make any sense!” 

“No, it doesn’t,” agreed Wilson. “Which makes it even more likely he is from the future. There’s no way he’s had time to build a TARDIS.” He held the sphere in his hand placing his thumb and two fingers inside the three yellow divots. It blinked at him, then beeped angrily, and shut off.

“So, I can’t even ask him what he knows about these shadows?”

“You could ask him about the _skeletons_ . You _can’t_ say shadows.”

“Why not? We are Torchwood, maybe we worked out the shadows on our own. He doesn’t know that we didn’t.”

“Yes, but if he thinks we worked it out on our own then he won’t bother telling us, now will he?”

Angie frowned. 

Wilson put down the device, and sighed. “I know you want answers, I do too, but we need to be careful.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” said Angie. It was her turn to sigh. “Torchwood just isn’t ready for another crisis. It falls too closely at the heels of our last crisis when all of reality was at stake. We need a break and we haven’t got one. We used up nearly all our tech building that dimension cannon. We’re short staffed and short on resources. If ever Torchwood needed the Doctor, it’s now. We’re out of our depth, and exhausted. ” Angie sat down across from him and slumped in her seat as if to illustrate the point 

“That isn’t your usual pep talk, Angie. Now I know we’re in trouble.”

Angie reached for the sphere and examined it. “The Doctor could help with these scanners, but he won’t because...” She looked over at him, her eyes suddenly full of defiance. “I’m going to call him. Even if you and Rose don’t like it. We need his help.”

“You can’t tell him he met me!” said Wilson, “Or about the shadows.”

“He’s the Doctor, he’s been told things about his future before,” said Angie He won’t knowingly create a paradox even if I do slip up, which I won’t!”

“Are you sure? Are you sure he’ll want to travel to _that_ moment if he knows it means seeing Rose and running away from her?”

“Well, I won’t tell him that part! How stupid do you think I am?” Angie crossed her arms in front of her. “Look, I haven't told Rose, and I won’t… I’m not sure which is worse anyway, thinking the Doctor left without speaking to her time or finding out she confused John Smith for the _other_ Doctor.”

“I think you need to worry a little less about Rose’s personal life, when there are bigger things at stake. Rose can handle this.”

“Don’t you get it, Wilson. She’s the leader of this band of misfits, and if we don’t look out for her she could lead us all astray.”

“You have so little faith in her?”

Angie groaned. “No, unlike _some_ people, _I_ supported her right from the beginning,” Angie shot him a pointed look, and he began fidgeting again with the scanner. “But even strong people can break. Rose knows that better than anyone.”

“You’re saying the Doctor is breakable?”

“Of course he is, everyone is. That’s the other reason I want to call him. Make sure he knows he’s not alone.”

“I’m not saying you _can’t_ call him. Just promise me you’ll be careful. You’ve heard Rose's description of those things that swoop in and eat people during a paradox.” Wilson shuddered. “We _don’t_ want that.”

“Is that what you’re afraid of?” A hint of a smile formed on her face.

“Yes, if you must know, I used to have nightmares about the Langoliers,” he shuddered again. 

“The what?” asked Angie.

“Something I watched as a kid, A Stephen King movie. These mindless chomping things that consume the past. They’re terrifying!”

Angie smirked at him. 

“What?” he asked.

“Oh it’s just nice to know Mr. I-have-three-degrees is human after all.”

“I never claimed to be anything else,” said Wilson.

“Well, you can relax. I’ll be careful. I promise.”

The door opened. “What are we being careful about?” asked Rose. 

“Oh, hi Rose,” said Angie, her voice going up an octave. She smiled at her. 

Wilson grabbed the Doctor’s phone and stuffed it into his pocket, as Rose walked over. She looked at the empty space where it had been and then looked at Wilson. 

“What’s going on with you two?” She asked, glancing between them.

“What do you mean?” asked Angie again, her voice was pitched higher than normal.

“Every time I walk into a room with you two I feel like I'm interrupting something secret.”

“Rose, tensions are high,” said Angie. “I think that’s all you're seeing. Everyone’s a bit stressed, even me.”

Wilson looked away from Rose and began tinkering with the scanner once more. “I think we just feel like we’re letting you down,” said Wilson. “No new leads on these shadows. If I could get this bioscanner working…” He gave the device a shake. The lights blinked half heartedly at him before switching off. 

“Look, I don’t care if there is something going on between you, as long as it's not distracting,” said Rose. “These shadows are going after larger dogs. They’re becoming a bigger threat. I need everybody focused.”

“We _are_ focused, Rose,” said Angie, “and there is nothing going on between us. Now, if you excuse me, I need to make a call.” 

* * *

One week earlier... 

The Doctor breathed heavily as he carried the woman from the bookshop through the dimly lit city streets. He had chased her nearly two blocks before finally catching her. He had made her fall asleep using a small vial of Madame Vastra’s soporific agent that he had borrowed ages ago. Her will had been too strong for the telepathic approach. The streets were empty and he was grateful for that. He only hoped no one was staring out their windows. 

He assumed the other Doctor would show up soon to help carry her. If he had been in one of his younger, stronger regenerations, he probably would have been able to move more quickly, and reduce the chance of being spotted. A kick like that had no doubt hurt, but he knew any minute now the overwhelming need to protect the universe would outweigh any lingering pain he was feeling. 

As time wore on, and there was no sign of the hybrid Doctor, he began to worry. As he reached the bookshop and looked inside the dark window that worry turned into an icy panic. His TARDIS was gone!

“Oi, you there! What are you doing?” 

The Doctor turned his head and, finding the source of that voice, he realized another suitcase full of bad had just been added to the equation. Even by the dim light of the streetlamps, he easily identified the dark blue uniform and the vehicle he stood beside as belonging to local law enforcement.

“Oh thank god!” said the Doctor with just a bit too much enthusiasm, “this woman needs medical attention!” 

The police officer hurried over. “Let her go,” he said.

“Please help me!” said the Doctor.

“Put her down gently, and we’ll talk,” said the officer holding his hand close to his holster. _That’s right this universe is a bit less kind,_ he reminded himself. On his last visit to this version of London, there had been a curfew and soldiers on the streets. It didn’t surprise him to see the police here were armed, but that made this more difficult _._

“Now this is really just a big misunderstanding!” said the Doctor, “This woman is my friend and she needs help.” 

“I have eye witnesses that saw you chase her down until she collapsed,” said the officer. “This zone has a curfew. Neither of you should even be outside. Now let her go and no one gets hurt.” 

“Please that’s not what happened,” said the Doctor. 

The police officer drew his gun. “Put her down.”

The Doctor tensed. “Now, I know you're not going to fire that. You could shoot her.”

“Put her down! Now!” The officer’s tone became more urgent, and the Doctor thought it best to obey, especially for the woman’s sake. 

“Alright, Alright, easy soldier boy!” said the Doctor. He placed the woman down on the sidewalk as gently as he could, and backed away from her slowly. _Sandshoes, what are you doing? This would be a really good time to show back up._

“I’m placing you under arrest,” began the police officer. He walked towards the Doctor. “For assault, kidnapping, and trespassing in a curfew zone.” He grabbed the Doctor’s wrists, placed them behind his back, and cuffed him. “You have the right to remain silent.”

“I don’t want to remain silent,” interrupted the Doctor. “I thought you said if I put her down we would talk. What happened to talking?” 

“Anything you say may be held against you in a court of law,” continued the officer.

“This is a misunderstanding!” The Doctor pleaded. “That woman is my friend and she needs help! Check my left suit pocket! I have her medical ID card. She has diabetes. I think her sugar must be low.” 

The police officer frowned and gave him a skeptical look, but he slipped his hand inside the Doctor’s pocket removing the psychic paper. He studied the paper. Then a smile grew across his face. “I almost fell for it, but my training paid off. _This_ is psychic paper!” he said, “you thought you could fool me with it, did you?” He guided the Doctor across the street. 

“Oh, why do I always get stuck with the worst of the pudding brains?” muttered the Doctor.

“Excuse me!” said the officer.

“That woman needs help,” said the Doctor. “And your fussing with me!” 

The police officer ignored his comment and continued guiding him toward the police car. 

The Doctor couldn’t believe his counterpart would be so reckless as to steal the TARDIS. The man used to be him. He knew what was at stake. Why would he abandon him? A grim and terrifying thought came over him. _I’m the winner. Time lord victorious..._ _This version had never made that mistake_ , he realized. _He’s_ _never learned from it._

“No wait!” The Doctor froze. No longer willing to be guided forward. “The truth is she’s dangerous! You can’t send her home!” said the Doctor panic creeping into his voice. 

“Oh so now she’s dangerous? Is that why you attacked her?” The police officer asked with a hint of sarcasm. He shoved him forward, and the Doctor had no choice but to walk towards the police car, but he walked with deliberately slow steps. 

They were almost to the car when a ferocious gust of wind blew through the street, and the best sound in all the universe, that mechanical groaning noise, echoed off the tall buildings. The police officer stopped dead in his tracks. The Doctor closed his eyes and let out a breath. He could tell by the sound alone that the TARDIS had fully materialized. He craned his neck to see, and let out another breath when he saw the police box stood exactly where the woman lay moments ago. She was safely contained behind it’s walls. 

“I don’t believe it!” said the officer. He stood twisted in an odd position in the middle of the street so that he could see the strange object, but his grip on the Doctor held firm. 

The Doctor briefly considered attempting to twist free while the officer was distracted, but then he remembered the gun. 

His tenth incarnation had come back and he had already contained the biggest people, so maybe he could be trusted. He would wait and see what Sandshoes did next. The door opened with a familiar and satisfying creek. 

“Oh, hello!” said Sandshoes cheerfully to the police officer. The Doctor noticed he had taken the time to locate his old brown coat.

“Doctor?” asked the police officer. “You’re called the Doctor, aren’t you? I’ve heard stories ever since the cybermen, but I never…”

The full time lord contorted his body so he could see his counterpart better. The police officer barely took notice of his struggle, but still his grip remained firm.

“Well,” said the tenth incarnation tilting his head. “You know what they say, seeing is believing.”

“You’re the man rumored to have stopped the cybermen?” asked the officer again. His grip loosened slightly on the Doctor as he stared in awe of the man who had appeared with the magic box. 

“That’s me. The one and only.” Sandshoes glanced at the Doctor, grinning broadly as he said this.

“But what have you done with that woman?” asked the police officer, “have you crushed her with that thing?”

“No, of course not, she is safe inside,” said Sandshoes. He gave the door of the box a tap, then stepped out and closed it. He walked casually over to the police officer. “She’s a Zygon, a shape shifter, very dangerous,” he whispered to him. “You’re lucky I showed up to contain her.” He glanced over at the Doctor, who struggled to stay in his contorted position.

“That’s my um… assistant, you’ve got there. He travels with me. He was helping me track her down. I’d appreciate it if you let him go.”

“He was seen assaulting that woman,” said the police officer, but his tone no longer exuded its earlier confidence.

Slowly, the Doctor turned away from the police car to face Sandshoes, and was relieved to find the officer didn’t try to stop him.

“Yes, well, I can see how it might have looked like that.” Sandshoes scratched at the back of his head. “But he did this planet a favor, I assure you. Don’t let those hostile looking eyebrows fool you, he’s harmless,” said Sandshoes. He gestured towards the Doctor as he spoke. 

The Doctor shot him a look, which was aided in its intensity by his ‘hostile’ eyebrows, but he said nothing.

“But you said that woman has diabetes and needed medical treatment,” said the police officer, turning and fixing his eyes on the man in his custody. “and then you said she was dangerous, so which is it?”

The Doctor quelled the urge to call the officer a pudding brain recognizing that wasn’t likely to help get him out of these handcuffs. “They’re not mutually exclusive,” he grumbled,“Someone can have a disease and also be dangerous.” 

“But you claim she’s a zy-whatsit, a shape changer? Well that has to be alien.” The office glanced at Sandshoes. “An alien with diabetes?” 

Sandshoes shrugged “It’s more common than you think, but especially with Zygons. They copy specific individuals, including any illness. The real person she copied has diabetes, which means the zygon does too.”

The officer frowned. “There have been aliens in recent years. I’d be a fool to ignore that, but…” He fixed his gaze on Sandshoes. “That doesn’t mean every strange occurrence is alien. You may be the hero who stopped the cybermen, but that doesn’t exempt you from the law and I think you're both lying, the pair of you. I need to see her!” 

“She’ll still look human,” said Sandshoes. “We don’t actually want her reverting to her true shape it’s much-”

“I need to see her!” demanded the officer more loudly.

“-more dangerous,” finished Sandshoes. He sighed. “Oh alright. Everyone needs proof today,” he muttered this last part, and then added more loudly, “But I should warn you, it's weird in there.” 

Sandshoes took a step towards the Police Box then gestured that they should follow. The officer steered the Doctor back across the street. A hint of amusement crept onto the Doctor’s face as he recognized the irony of his predicament. 

Sandshoes snapped his fingers and the TARDIS doors opened which the Doctor found reassuring. If the TARDIS accepted him then Sandshoes must still be like him. He must still be the Doctor. 

The Doctor followed Sandshoes inside with the police officer right behind him. He heard the officer gasp. He let go of him and immediately stepped back outside looking both left and right. The Doctor smiled. He still enjoyed watching these reactions.

“Weird is an understatement,” said the officer, stepping back inside. He looked around the TARDIS control room for a moment then he spotted the women lying on the floor. His training seemed to take back over. He approached her with renewed confidence and crouched down next to her, feeling for a pulse. 

“See just sleeping,” said Sandshoes. 

“She looks human,” said the officer. 

“Yes, well, of course she does,” said the Doctor, “he told you she would. Trust me you wouldn’t want to see her true form. I’ve seen what a zygon looks like, red with tentacles and suckers, but that’s not even the worst part. The tongue with venom that’s...” The Doctor stopped. He had been about to say something like “too terrifying for your human brain,” and realized he needed to keep in character, pretending he was the Doctor’s human companion.

“You’re better off not seeing the proof,” said Sandshoes, “Trust where you're standing. Trust the weirdness of this room. Isn’t that proof enough?” 

“The rumors said you were alien, but I always thought…” The officer looked around the room with it’s impossible size. “Yes, I suppose your right.” said the officer. He let out a giddy laugh. “No one will ever believe me!” He glanced at the two of them, gave them a small nod and then left in a hurry without saying another word.

“So, I travel with _you_?” said the Doctor. Sandshoes grinned at him.

“Well, we couldn’t both be the Doctor. That would take too long to explain. Besides, I’m the face that’s all over the internet. We’re lucky he recognized me.”

“He forgot to uncuff me, would you mind?”

Sandshoes started to reach into his suit and then groaned. “I need your sonic,” he said, stepping towards him. “Which pocket?”

“You don’t have one?” asked the Doctor.

“Just tell me which pocket,” he said wearily.

“Inside right,” said the Doctor. 

Sandshoes retrieved it, making a face as he examined it. Then he circled around behind him. The sonic made the familiar high pitched noise and the cuffs fell to the floor. 

The Doctor rubbed at his wrists. “Thanks!” he said as Sandshoes handed him back his sonic screwdriver. He stepped towards the controls.

“Wait! Before we leave you should lock the door to the bookshop,” said Sandshoes. “That’s how Rachel, the shopkeeper, that's how she found it.” 

The Doctor paused and reversed direction. He peeked outside. The officer’s car was gone. He glanced around the deserted street. Had Sandshoes feigned not having a sonic screwdriver just to get him to step outside? He had stolen the TARDIS once already. The Doctor wasn’t about to let him do it a second time. From the entrance of his TARDIS he pointed the sonic at the shop door and heard latch turned with a clunk. 

When the Doctor returned, he found Sandshoes casually leaning back against controls with his eyes closed. There was no obvious sign he had been intending to steal it. Instead Sandshoes appeared to be calm in no hurry to go anywhere at all. _He’s still connected to the TARDIS telepathically,_ the Doctor realized. _After all these years, she still knows him. He’s just soaking it in._

“I’m glad you showed up when you did,” said the Doctor, “When I saw the TARDIS was gone, I worried you might have run off.”

“Nah, not me,” sad Sandshoes. He opened his eyes, instantly alert. “I’m you, remember? And I always look after myself.” He grinned.

The Doctor frowned, unconvinced. “There’s not as much incentive to do that, this time. Besides it wouldn’t have been the first time you stole it, _we_ stole it.”

“You don’t trust me!” Sandshoes made a face of disgust, “You think I would steal it from myself? Well, almost myself, while we’re both trying to prevent a major paradox, why would I do that?” 

“Because I remember what I used to be like when I wore that face.” The Doctor said grimly. “After we put the Earth back in orbit. I traveled alone, and-”

“Alone? What about Donna?” asked Sandshoes, his calm face transformed into a pained expression. “No! She couldn’t sustain it, the time lord consciousness. She couldn’t sustain it, could she?”

The Doctor frowned. “It doesn’t matter, the point is I was alone and that face,” he pointed at Sandshoes. 

“Doesn’t matter?!” He shouted. “You can’t mean that! Maybe _I_ shouldn’t trust you.”

The Doctor groaned. This was not how he intended for this conversation to go. “What I meant was-”

“You erased her memory, didn’t you?” interrupted Sandshoes. “Tell me you at least did that, that she’s not…”

The Doctor sighed. It wasn’t that it didn’t matter. It was exactly the opposite, like so many that had come before and those that came after, Donna had mattered a lot. “I erased everything we did together. That version of Donna doesn’t exist, but she lived.” 

Sandshoes didn’t look any happier now that he knew for certain, but as the Doctor studied him he realized something else. 

“You should have known that Donna couldn’t sustain it. That should have been obvious, just like the fixed point should have been obvious, but you weren’t sure. You’re like me, but not quite.” He paused catching sight of the other Doctor’s despondent expression. He softened his tone. “You can’t see the difference between what’s fixed and what is in flux. You’ve reasoned it out, but you can't see it anymore.”

Sandshoes frowned and looked down at the floor. “No, most of the time I can’t. For the first couple of days, I could still see things the way I always could, but the longer I listened to this strange two beat rhythm in my chest, the more it slipped away from me.” He sighed and pulled something out of his pocket. “And you were right about stealing the TARDIS.” He tossed the object in the air and caught it. 

“Is that TARDIS Coral?”

“Technically Donna stole it from you, and gave it to me, but I accepted it and I’m part Donna so I guess I did run off with the TARDIS.” His eyes stared at the floor. “It doesn’t matter. It’s stone cold. I don’t know if it’s me or this universe, but it’s completely dormant. I’ve tried everything I know.”

The Doctor walked over, held out his hand, and Sandshoes gave it up. He examined it, turning it over. “It looks perfectly healthy. It might just be waiting.” He handed it back to Sandshoes.

“Being stubborn is more like it,” he said. 

“That is more like our TARDIS, isn’t it?” The Doctor smiled and tapped the console. “I wouldn’t give up on it just yet. If you can still pilot the TARDIS, and clearly you can, then I see no reason it won’t eventually respond to you, of course it will still take thousands of-”

“No you're wrong! Donna thought of a solution and it’s brilliant! It’ll work. I can grow it in a single year, two years max!” Sandshoes secured the TARDIS Coral in an inner pocket of his suit. He looked just a tad more hopeful. “That is of course assuming I’m still enough...”

 _He doesn’t need the time lord victorious lesson_ , The Doctor realized. _He’s got enough human doubts, Donna’s self doubts, to balance out that time lord ego._

The Doctor flipped a few controls, and then he noticed a pink phone attached to his console. He pulled it out. “Is this how you track her?” asked the Doctor. He handed him the phone. 

“Her name is Margaret Blake, and, yes, I used it to track her.”

Sandshoes dropped the phone in her purse. Then he crouched down to check on her. 

“You tracked her by that thing in her ear.” 

He stood up and nodded. “Don’t worry. There is no risk she’ll turn into a cyberman. It's just a basic speaker and microphone. Anyway, I plugged her phone into the TARDIS and followed the signal. Piece of cake,” said Sandshoes.

The Doctor frowned. “Then what took so long?”

“That wasn’t my fault. The TARDIS had other plans.”

“What happened?” 

“It brought me ahead three days. It was just a few blocks from here. I saved two kids and their dog from walking right into the vashta nerada.”

“You were inside your own timeline without the ability to see what’s fixed and what's in flux?” The Doctor stared at him and tried to force his face to remain calm, but he knew his voice had already betrayed him. 

“I do still _understand_ the dangers,” said Sandshoes. He folded his arm across his chest, “which is why I tried to leave as soon as I realized it, but it just kept flashing the words Bad Wolf.” He shook his head. “I didn’t damage time, I promise. I only ran into Wilson, and he might be oblivious sometimes, but he’s clever. He won’t do anything to damage the timeline.”

“Who is Wilson?” 

“He works for Torchwood,” said Sandshoes. “I used his lunch to introduce him to the swarm, but that was it, I swear! I didn’t say anything about the future. I only showed him what was right under his nose. There hasn’t been a paradox. If there was even I would know, because it’s my timeline.”

The Doctor frowned. “I hope you’re right.” He glanced over at Margaret Blake who was still sound asleep on the floor. “Do you know where she lives?”

“Yes, but that’s not where you need to take her.” Sandshoes walked over to her and took off his jacket. He folded it up and slipped it under her head. “In case we have another bumpy ride,” he said to the Doctor. “When I landed it was violent.”

“No hard feelings, I guess?” said the Doctor eyeing the jacket now turned pillow.

“What we did to her is worse than what she did to me.” Sandshoes looked at her, the regret evident on his face. 

The Doctor had forgotten how expressive that face used to be. Those emotions of his were always on the surface, rarely hidden. That face had to work at hiding it. While the face he wore now had to work at expressing it. But this was good news. It meant he could find out what he needed from Sandshoes just by reading his face, something Clara mistakenly thought he was bad at. She still didn't quite see him. _And some of that is because I don’t letter her._

“Then there is what we’re about to do to her…Which is worse still,” said Sandshoes.

“Why? What are we about to do?” asked the Doctor.

“Not _we_ , you. I need to get back to the bookshop, but you need to take her to Torchwood.”

“And why am I doing that?”

“Because this requires more than a mind wipe. They need to erase her child from existence. They made me exist and they can make him disappear.”

The Doctor stared at him, and he could see Sandshoes didn’t make this decision lightly. Still he needed to understand. He needed to be sure. “And you agree with this sort of power?” Asked the Doctor.

“In Rose’s hands yes, yes I do,” Sandshoes didn’t look over at him. Instead, he adjusted the controls of the TARDIS. “I’m setting her to take me back to where you found us, should be only seconds since I left, and I’m programming in the coordinates for Torchwood, Lab 2.” 

The Doctor stared at him. “Look at me and say that again.”

He looked over at him with confusion on his face. “ I’m programming in the coordinates for Lab 2?”

“No, what you said about Rose.”

“I trust Rose to make the right decision on this,” he said, simply. There was no doubt on his face. “And Angela Webber, both of them. I was skeptical. Especially when I saw what they could do with those telepathic enzymes, but in those women’s hands it's a scalpel not a bulldozer.” 

The Doctor stared at him and barely listened as he spoke of mushroom spores and some brutal sounding memory drug called retcon. _He does believe in Rose, but something was missing from his face as he spoke. I do notice, Clara..._

 _“..._ because the alternative is they match the skeleton with her son’s DNA,” Sandshoes was saying, “and then they arrest Margaret Blake or someone else in her family for murder, because they all waited a week to report him missing. You met the local cops do you think they’re ready to believe in shadow swarms and time travel.”

The Doctor frowned. “Wiping him from history like he never existed. You’re right that is worse...”

“It’s necessary.”

“You might be right. We’ll let Rose decide.” The Doctor gestured to the controls. “Take us back.” 

The TARDIS Engines roared to life and smoothly entered the Time Vortex. 

“And what do we do about this swarm that’s terrorizing London?” asked the Doctor.

Sandshoes shrugged. “It’s nearly impossible to kill it. So that leaves run, run some more, maybe find a way to persuade it to split up, to hunt smaller prey. There are plenty of rodents and roadkill in a place like London. If we could relocate even part of it…” 

“That would only buy you time. They’ll keep growing. What if I had a place I could relocate all of them? Does Torchwood have the technology to help me contain them?”

“It might be possible…” Sandshoes paused to rub at his ear. “Yes, they do. Vinvocci glass would hold them for a short while, but you have to be fast once you have them. Any cage they can get inside they can also get out of...Where could you take them?”

“I fell backwards through time and space as I was coming into this universe,” said the Doctor. “The TARDIS passed through a lot of strange places including a planet where all predators appeared to have gone extinct. There is nothing to keep the rodents population from destroying the ecosystem. I need a little time to confirm it, but that seems like the ideal place for them.”

“I wish you luck,” said Sandshoes as the TARDIS settled into its new location with a final wheeze and a cluck.

“You're really just going to go back to the bookshop? Don’t you want to help me?”

“I _am_ helping you. You’ll need to know where to find them. If they hatched here, then they’ll be back. If they didn’t then I’ll find out where they did hatch.”

“You don’t have any way to scan for them, do you?” Asked the Doctor. 

His counterpart frowned and ran a hand through his hair. “No, no I don’t…” he said quietly.

“Here, take this!” The Doctor tossed his sonic screwdriver and Sandshoes caught it. “It’s been a week so make sure the swarm hasn’t grown.” 

Sandshoes nodded and then stepped out into the sunny well lit bookshop. 

He turned around. “Was Donna happy? Did you check in on her? Was she alright?”

The Doctor smiled, before answering. “When Donna got married, they could barely afford the flat they were living in, but then one of the wedding gifts was a winning lottery ticket from a long forgotten friend.” 

Sandshoes smiled. “You _did_ check in on her.”

“Of course I did, and yes she was happy. And what about you, Doctor? Are you and Rose happy?” 

“Rose?” His face tightened. “Yeah, she’s fine,” said Sandshoes, his expression was one of forced neutrality. Then he smiled and that seemed genuine, “She doesn’t just _work_ for Torchwood. She’s running it!” He turned to leave. 

“What about you? Are you alright?” Asked the Doctor.

Sandshoes looked back over his shoulder. “Oh you know me, I’m always alright.” 

_He believes in her, but she doesn’t believe in him..._

“I’ll monitor the sonic’s readings from the TARDIS, so scan frequently,” said the Doctor, “and I’ll keep my eye on you. You know I always look after myself.”

Sandshoes folded his arms. “You _know_ there’s very little incentive for you to do that.”

The Doctor snapped his fingers and the doors closed, hiding Sandshoes’ cheeky smile from view.


	7. Not Sandshoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Smith is confused. Why can't he find any trace of the vashta nerada using the sonic? Rachel becomes very skeptical of him for reasons that will become apparent if you read this chapter. 
> 
> Rose is confused too. Why is BAD Wolf on the TARDIS? How did the Doctor get through to this universe? And that is just the confusion she admits to having...

The wooden doors of the TARDIS closed. John Smith cast one wistful glance behind him before he hurried to the front of the bookshop. He aimed the Doctor’s sonic at the door and it locked. Then he aimed it again at the open sign which flickered out. The TARDIS engines began to weeze. He picked up the store phone, and pulled a headset that used to be paired with his mobile, out of his pocket. He placed it on the desk, and moved the sonic between both devices. Then he shoved the device on his ear and dialed. He caught one last glimpse of the TARDIS before it vanished from view. 

He stared at the sonic while the phone rang in his ear. “Pick up. Pick up!” He said. 

“Hello Doctor, I mean John.” 

“Angie, listen I have a lead on those skeletons,” said John speaking quickly. “There isn’t much time. The Doctor is on his way. The _real_ Doctor. He’s regenerated. He won’t look like me, but he’s the Doctor.”

“The _real_ Doctor?” asked Angie.

“Yes, now listen, the vashta nerada, the swarm that eats flesh. I showed Wilson three days ago.”

“Yeah, I was wondering when you were going to tell us that,” said Angie. “Oh, that’s why you had the TARDIS, the other Doctor! But why didn’t you say anything when I called?” 

“A lot has happened to me since we last spoke. I only just saw Wilson.”

From the other end of the line he could hear the groaning of the TARDIS engines.

“But that’s the TARDIS!” He heard a male voice exclaim! He suspected it was Wilson. “Angie, It’s the TARDIS!”

“Doctor... John, I’m going to need to call you back.”

“No wait!” He ran over to one of the bookshelves with the sonic in hand and aimed it at some books. No reading. He tried again adjusting the setting. “Look, he’s monitoring my scans. It should buy us a few moments.” He pressed the sonic again and waved it around at the books. Again there was no sign of the swarm. “Tell Rose… Tell everyone to stay out of the shadows and to count them. Look for any shadows out of place.”

“Yeah, we’ve been doing that.” Angie sounded distant like she was barely listening to him. The groaning noise stopped. 

“Angie, ask Wilson to deal with the Doctor. Please this is important.” The Doctor jumped on to the ladder and continued scanning the books. 

“John, You’re not saying anything we don’t already know.”

“Right. What else? Two shadows! If a person has two shadows then they are being hunted.”

“Angie it’s the TARDIS! It’s the Doctor!” That was definitely Wilson’s voice. 

John waved the sonic and pressed and released the button a few times, and then groaned. “How can there be no reading?” he muttered not really to Angie which was just as well since she wasn’t listening he heard her talking to Wilson.

“Yes,” hissed Angie, “and if he comes out please talk to him. I’ve got to stay on this call.”

“You have a _phone call_ more important than the _Doctor_?” asked Wilson.

“It's the _other_ Doctor and he’s just as important!” said Angie.

“You mean there is a different Doctor inside this thing. Someone other than John Smith?”

“Yes, Mr. I-have-three-degrees, work it out!” said Angie irritably. “Sorry John, you were saying about two shadows. What do we do if someone has two shadows?

“Tell them to stand still, and don’t let anyone cross their shadows.”

“And then?”

“Angie, I’m sorry, if someone has two shadows, they won’t survive. The best plan is to keep everyone else away from them,” said John. He frowned, remembering those he failed to save in the Library.

“So that’s it? I was hoping for more,” said Angie. He thought he heard her sigh. 

“I know and I’m sorry, but the vashta nerada are brutal. They just eat. Basic survival instincts. If there is a way to stop them, I haven’t found one yet.”

“But what are they?”

“It's a swarm, they hatch from spores that normally live in trees. I suspected them early on, but then I found no trace of them in these books,” John said as he scanned yet another set of books. He held the sonic to his ear. “I still can’t.” He hopped down from the ladder and scanned the books in the middle shelves. “There are no live readings, and no spores on the books. There’s no trace! Except, they have definitely been here in this bookshop.”

“Spores? Does that make them fungus?” Angie asked and he could almost see the giddy grin on her face. Her tone made it clear that her interest in the vashta nerada suddenly shifted from fear to scientific curiosity. 

“Er, not exactly,” said John. 

I’m a mycologist, you can be technical with me.”

“Angie, I’m sorry there isn’t time. Torchwood needs to evacuate Zone 7. If you have enough of those portable biofilters you might be able to contain them here,” he said as he hurried down the aisle continuing to scan the books. “but you’ll need the highest setting which means no human will be able to pass through it. You’ll have to check everyone individually before you let them through.”

“Okay, and how do we scan for them? We have like three portable scanners and they aren’t good enough to really be sure what we are looking at,” said Angie.

“I don’t know. Get some chicken wings. Toss them at every shadow.”

“Well be laughed at!”

“You’ll be saving lives.”

“We need people to take us seriously if they’re going to listen to us and evacuate,” said Angie “and if we are throwing chicken at them…” 

“Listen, I can't think of everything,” said John irritably. 

“Are you in danger in that bookshop? You are, aren’t you?” Asked Angie, her voice sounded concerned. “Rose said they are hunting larger prey and if they hatched there...”

“I thought they must have hatched here from the pages of the books,” said John. He slammed the sonic into the palm of his hand a few times, more to alleviate his frustration than because he thought it would improve the scans. “but I can’t find any evidence, even now with a sonic screwdriver. It’s really important we locate the source. If we do that we can gage how large they will become and we'll know they’ll come back here.”

“You are in danger. You should bet out of there,” said Angie.

“Everyone in zone 7 is in danger unless I can figure out where they hatched.”

“You said the spores were in trees.” said Angie. “Is there anything else they might be living inside? Wooden floors? A piece of furniture?” 

He stared at a bookshelf in front of him, remembering how he quelled his earlier impulse to lick it. “They’re new...all of them!” 

“John?”

John didn't answer. Instead he adjusted a setting and pointed the screwdriver at the shelf. It whistled at him and from the pitch he could tell. The shelves contained spore residue. 

He slammed his hand into his forehead. “It’s the wood. The bookshelves! Angie, you're brilliant!” He shouted. 

“Hey, Wilson, the Doctor thinks I’m brilliant.”

He thought he heard Wilson say “Well you are,” but he wasn’t paying too much attention as he raced up and down the aisles scanning. Sure enough remnants of the hatched spores littered every shelf. He hopped back on the ladder. Now that he was aiming the screwdriver more precisely and he even picked up a few small blips that indicated a live reading. They were too small to harm even a mouse but they were there. 

“They’ll return to collect the new hatchlings, add them to their flock,” he jumped on to the ladder and continued his scans. Nearly all of them had hatched. He clung to the ladder feeling very uneasy. “Angie, with this many spores hatched no one is safe…” 

“John, you should get out of there.”

He shook his head then remembered she couldn’t see him. “I can’t. I’m the only one who knows the danger. I’m staying until Torchwood can evacuate this area. 

“Why isn’t he coming out?” asked Wilson “Should we knock?”

“Angie I need a favor. The Doctor doesn’t know Rose and I split. He may suspect something, but try not to let anyone tell him.”

“I’m not sure I can prevent that. Oh, you haven’t given up on her,” said Angie, unable to hide the excitement in her voice. “You’re afraid he’ll-”

“No, it’s nothing like that,” John said quickly. “He doesn't think of her the way…” He sighed. “He’s traveling alone, and that’s already hard enough. He doesn’t need to know we both lost Rose.” 

John heard a creak from the other end of the phone that sounded like the TARDIS doors opening. “Hello, I’m the Doctor. Sandshoes sent me, the other Doctor. I’m looking for Rose Tyler.”

“They’re not sandshoes,” said John. He was hanging off the ladder looking at his foot. “They’re really not.”

“Yes they are.” said Angie, “But that’s okay you're still the Doctor, even if you prefer John, now. I know my opinion doesn’t count. That there is only one opinion that matters to you.” There was a pause on the other end of the phone and he thought he heard Wilson mutter a reply to the Doctor. “Rose’ll come round. She’ll take one look at him and come round.” 

“I better let you go.” He said goodbye and from across the room he pointed the sonic at the phone to end the call. 

He looked once more at his foot still and shook his head. “They’re trainers!” He shouted to the empty shop. Then he heard a rapping on the glass storefront. Turning he saw Rachel in the window staring at him. She gestured to the locked door. He made an apologetic face and then without thinking he pointed the screwdriver at the door. He hopped down from the ladder as she came inside. 

“What’s going on?” she asked. “What is that thing in your hand and how did it unlock the door? And why was the shop locked? John talk to me.”

He walked over to the front desk, and spotted the copy of _A Wrinkle in Time_ still on the counter He picked up. “First, I’m going to buy this,” he said, pulling money out from his pocket and slipping it into the cash register. “And then you're probably going to have me sacked, because I know this story. I know how this looks. I’ll try to explain. You won’t believe me, but I’m going to try to explain anyway, because you’re in danger just standing there,” he rattled off barely coming up for breath. “Then you still won’t believe me. I’m not sure what happens after that.” He held up the book, “But at least I’ll have this book.” 

“John, I don’t have strength for this right now,” she said, looking at him with tired eyes. “I have a funeral to plan.”

“Oh, Rachel, I’m sorry, really I am, so sorry,” said John. 

“It’s alright, I’m alright,” said Rachel who looked about as far from alright as he had ever seen her. “She’s at peace now.”

“Is there anything I can do?” He asked it because that’s what human’s said, but he really didn’t want the answer to be yes. He needed to be here and he needed to get her far away from here. “Why don’t you go home? I'll mind the shop.”

Rachel shook her head. “She said something really strange earlier today when I told her about the bookshelves. She said the bookshelves bring the darkness. Then she begged me not to sack you no matter what I found when I got here. How did she know I would find something strange?”

“That is a mystery to me,” said John earnestly, although he suspected the words _bad wolf_ had something to do with it.

“Well, I promised her I wouldn’t.” Rachel sniffed back tears. “But I’m not sure I have strength for your explanation.”

“Your mum was right. The bookshelves bring the darkness, I only just found out myself. I don’t know how she knew that, but she’s right.”

“And I’m in danger just standing here?” asked Rachel.

“Not yet, but the swarm that killed that infant, both infants, and all those pets. It’s called vashta nerada, which means the shadows that melt flesh… the darkness. They were born here, in those bookshelves,” He gestured toward the shelves with the sonic. “and they will be back soon.” 

Rachel looked at him with an unreadable expression. Had she even just heard what he said? Or was her grief too overpowering to process anything else? 

“Do you believe me?” he asked after a moment.

Rachel shook her head. “I just don’t know. Nothing feels real right now, and nothing you say makes any sense.” 

“Just trust me for one night. Just one night. I’ll stay here. You go home. Get some rest. You live more than 2 kilometers away, right? Well outside of zone 7?”

Rachel nodded. 

“Then just go home. You’ll be safe there. I’ll stay here and keep watch over things. I’ll keep the monsters away. Well, I’ll keep the people away from the monsters.”

Rachel stared at him. She stared at the sonic screwdriver in his hand eying it skeptically. “How does that thing work?”

“This?” he asked, holding up the sonic “Point and think. It's a nice feature. Well, mine always worked a little bit like that. In a crisis, like when I was being attacked by that christmas tree...” _When Rose needed me to save her._

“John, what are you going on about?” asked Rachel. “How does that work?” she jabbed a finger at the screwdriver. 

“It’s got a telepathic circuit,” he said, “My counterpart’s ironed out all the flaws with it. It works really well.” He tossed it in the air and caught it awkwardly. The weight of it didn’t feel right in his hand and he made a face. “Even so I still miss my old one…” 

“You opened the door with it. It’s a lock pick!”

“It’s a screwdriver,” he said defensively. “It’s sonic. Watch.” He aimed the sonic at the door. It let out a shrill whistle and the door locked. He grinned at her. “It’s harmless.”

“Unless you want to, say, get into a locked bookshop, and pull off an elaborate prank with a stolen skeleton.”

“What? No!” 

“Was it a prank? Did the skeleton come from a research lab or did you murder that child?”

“Rachel, you can’t believe that I would-”

“Get out!” Rachel pointed at the door. “I promised her I wouldn’t sack you and I’m not. But you’re leaving right now.” 

“Rachel, it’s not like that.” John held his arms up, “It’s not like any of that. I’m this sort of freelancer, a consultant for Torchwood, You’re son told you I could help. I can help. I have a sonic screwdriver. It can do a lot of things. Look!” He pointed the device at the open sign and it lit back up. He handed it to her. “You try. Point at the sign and think about shutting it off.”

She dropped it. “Get out!” 

He reached down for the sonic and she kicked it across the room. They both watched it roll landing in a faint shadow on the other side. 

“That stays here!” said Rachel. 

“Rachel, you don’t know what’s at stake. Your life is in danger, and I need that! I can use it to tell where the darkness is! I can tell by how it sounds, your human ears won’t be able to, but I can.”

“Oh, so now you’re not even human.” Rachel shook her head. “No, don’t expect me to fall for this scam, any more.”

“But your son trusted me. That has to count for something,” John pleaded with her.

“My son works for the bank. I made that up!” 

“W- why would you make that up?”

“I’m the one asking the questions!”

John glanced over at the sonic. It no longer lay in shadow. “Look at the sonic. Look at it!” He pointed emphatically. 

“What about it?” asked Rachel. She glared at him.

“Remember there was a shadow a minute ago,” John said “There was a shadow, just there, and now it’s gone.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

“You saw it. I know you did.” John looked at her, his face imploring her to admit it. “Your mother said darkness and there was a shadow. A shadow that isn’t a shadow, a swarm that eats flesh.”

“You’re either insane or you think I am,” she said, but her eyes lingered on the sonic that was now illuminated by sunlight streaming in the window and the overhead lights.

“You did see it, and shadows don’t move at random. I can see the doubt in your eyes.” 

“No, I’ve made up my mind, and you need to leave.” Rachel sounded weary as she said this, and perhaps she realized it because then she added “Now!” more firmly.

“Alright,” he held up his hands in defeat and took a couple steps towards the door. “But before I go, answer me this. Is this truely in the spirit of what your mother wanted? To kick me out. Am I supposed to come back tomorrow? The next day? Do I get holiday pay? Do you _ever_ plan to have me come back?” 

Rachel glared at him, but he could see her resolve starting to crumble. 

“Let me prove it to you about the darkness.” He took a step in the direction of the sonic, and looked at her.

She sighed and finally nodded. The fatigue was written all over. He knew he had won, but it didn’t feel like winning. He didn’t want to win this way, against a friend who was too emotionally drained to fight anymore. 

He walked towards the sonic carefully, deliberately. Then in one swift motion he picked it up and began scanning. “There are too few of them to harm us, too few for _now_.” He glanced back over at her and smiled. “Now about that proof I promised you.” He aimed the sonic at the open sign and it shut off once more. “Come with me.”

“And where are we going?”

“To get takeaway,” He said cheerfully. “Then I'll introduce you to the vashta nerada. If I can prove it, will you promise me you’ll go home?”

She nodded, even more complacently this time, which only strengthened his resolve to prove it to her. 

* * *

Rose sat at her desk in a big open room on the top floor of the Torchwood Tower. If she turned her head to look out the window there was an incredible view of London and the Thames. Inside the room were three other desks, two of which were occupied, and a large table completely full of alien technology that Wilson needed to sort. If she wanted, she could have had her own office. There were a plethora of vacant rooms, but Rose preferred to be in the thick of things not walled up behind a door. 

Most organizations would have relocated after a reduction in force from hundreds down to 15, but most organizations didn’t have Pete Tyler as a sponsor, and Pete preferred that Torchwood keep an eye on this particularly weak point in the fabric of the universe. Rose did too, but for different reasons. Unfortunately this weak spot proved no clues as to how the Doctor had arrived in this universe. Only two and a half weeks after all the gaps between realities closed and this weak spot stayed closed. She had even sent a team to Darlig Ulv Stranden, but they found no evidence of any cracks in the universe. 

In the past three days, they were no closer to putting a stop to the shadow monsters, and Rose had exhausted all the theories on how the Doctor had arrived. She found herself staring once more at the CCTV footage showing the TARDIS tumble down from the sky. She had watched this video several times, always with the same questions. The TARDIS had made some bad landings before, but never like that. What caused it to land like that? Why would the Doctor come back to save two kids and then run off? It should be impossible for him to even be here. How did he do it? _And the way he looked at me..._

Something caught Rose’s eye and she clicked back a few frames and froze the image. Then she zoomed in on the words on the top of the box. The angle and quality of the recording made it hard to read, but it didn’t say “Police”. She zoomed in further and gasped. The image was fuzzy but still very readable. _How could it say that?_

“Rose! Rose! Come Quick!” Angie’s voice was urgent, but Rose was in no mood, not with Bad Wolf staring at her on the screen. 

“What is it Angie? I’m kinda busy,” said Rose. 

“But it’s the Doctor!” said Angie.

Rose quelled the hopefully feeling rising in her chest before it had a chance to take over. She sighed, realizing Angie must have meant the hybrid Doctor. She didn’t want to see him. She knew his face would mirror the image in her head from three days ago. They both loved her. _If I see him I’ll want to give in._

“Rose it’s him. It’s the Doctor! He’s here!” Angie said again.

“Just give him whatever he needs,” said Rose. She didn’t look up from the screen. _Why did it say Bad Wolf?_

“Rose,” Angie tone had an unexpected hard edge to it that she seldom heard from her friend. 

Rose sighed again and finally looked up. “You still have his sonic stuff, right? That’s probably what he wants. He doesn’t need to see _me_.”

“No, not _that_ Doctor, _the_ Doctor with the TARDIS!”

Rose gaped at her and then a grin spread across her face. “You’re kidding!”

“Listen, Rose. It’s not quite what you think.” Angie cautioned. “He’s changed.”

“Where is he?”

“Basement, Lab 2,” said Angie.

Rose leapt to her feet and hurried towards the lift. Angie followed. 

“Rose, he’s not the same.” Angie raced to catch up. “He’s not the Doctor you saw a few days ago. He’s changed.”

“So what. I’ve seen him change before.”

“He’s brought someone here. He’s saying she needs a memory wipe.”

Rose frowned. “A memory wipe? What for?” She pressed the button and heard the lift begin to rise toward them. 

“I think John Smith sent him,” said Angie.

“Rose’s brow knitted together. “What makes you say that?”

“Um...well, how else would he know we can do memory wipes?” 

Rose shrugged “Maybe Captain Jack’s version of Torchwood also has recon.” She made a face of discomfort. That scrap of knowledge came from John Smith. It was impossible not to think of him. She remembered the entire conversation where they discussed this. Worst of all she remembered how happy she had been on that walk. She had been showing him the neighborhood and he told her all about his many adventures including the year that never happened, and everything Jack had been doing. 

The lift pinged and the doors opened. 

Rose and Angie stepped inside. “He’s here, He’s _really_ here!” said Rose, “I don’t care if he’s regenerated. He’s come back for me! I didn’t think he would!” The doors closed. Rose pressed the button that would take them to the basement.

The lift was easily large enough to haul an African bull elephant, but the top floor hadn’t been designed to accommodate the freight sized elevator. On the inside, the lift doors were wider and taller than the ones on the outside, making it feel unexpectedly large any time anyone entered from the top floor. The dropped ceiling was too short for the lift, so the exterior doors were smaller by design. For obvious reasons it reminded Rose of the TARDIS. It certainly wasn’t the strangest thing Rose had gotten used to in her life since the Doctor had entered it, but it was a reminder of the strangeness, for years it had been a reminder of his absence.

“Rose, the thing is, I don’t think he _did_ come back for you,” said Angie.

“Oh, so what he’s changed. I’ve seen him change before!” said Rose. “Maybe he was about to regenerate, maybe that’s the only reason he backed away from me, because last time I was kinda stupid about it. Jack had to pull me away from him.”

Angie frowned. “Rose, I really don’t think that’s what happened.”

“You don’t even know him!” snapped Rose, “You have no idea!” 

“I know he’s old now,” continued Angie, “he looks at least 60.”

“So what?” said Rose, but she knew the disappointment shown on her face. 

“I don’t think he regenerated recently. If he looks that old…” said Angie. “I think it’s been a long time since he dropped you off in Norway.”

“You could have just called up here, but you chose to come and get me!” Rose turned and fixed Angie with a stare. She pressed her thumb to the emergency stop button, and lift slowed and then jerked abruptly to a halt. “I don’t need to be _warned_ about the Doctor. I don’t care how long it's been. I’ll always be there for him when he needs me. No matter what!”

“I think he does need you, your Doctor, the one calling himself John Smith,” said Angie.

“No, don’t you start! I’ve had enough of that from my parents!” said Rose.

“Rose, I’m your friend, please listen to me. That man down there, the Doctor, he probably thinks you’re _married_ to John Smith. He’s not going to take you with him Rose. I’m telling you he’s not the same.”

“Angie, he’s the Doctor and that’s the end of it. Okay!” said Rose, but it wasn’t okay. She fought hard against the tears that threatened to fall, and she could feel Angie’s eyes on her. 

“I’m just looking out for you and, maybe it’s not my place,” said Angie “but if it were me I wouldn’t mention to him what happened between you and John. I think it will make things harder for both you.” 

Over the years, Rose had learned to trust Angie’s judgment about people. She had this sort of sixth sense when it came to reading people, even aliens. It was some natural empathic tendency augmented by all the years Angie had spent studying what had turned out to be a species of telepathic alien mushroom. She didn’t want to admit it, but her friend was probably right about everything. Of course she had no way to know Angie also had John Smith’s interpretation on her side. _I do miss John Smith... at least I did until I saw the real Doctor. The pain on his face when he looked at me…_ The tears fell. She couldn’t stop them. 

“I have a job to do and look at me!” cried Rose, “I have to meet the Doctor! Which probably means all hell’s about to break loose. I need to get a hold of myself. I’m a wreck!”

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” said Angie, “I thought you’d be angry if I didn’t warn you. If you got down there expecting to see _your_ Doctor and…”

“No, you’re right. It’s not your fault. I cry all the time now,” said Rose quietly. Then her tone hardened. “Sometimes just being in this lift makes me cry.”

“That’s to be expected when you’ve had your heart broken.” Angie put an arm around Rose. 

Rose closed her eyes against the tears. Then pulled Angie into a hug. “I don’t have anyone who understands it. There is no one who I can talk to about this. It’s so complicated.”

“You can talk to _me_ . It’s not _that_ complicated. I mean, I know it’s the Doctor, time travel and all, but everyone’s had their heart broken. I’m no stranger to it,” said Angie. She pulled away from Rose and fixed her with a serious look. “I’m here.” 

Rose sniffled. “You’re a good friend!” She forced a smile through the tears. “I know I’ve been a mess ever since I came back. I’m sorry. You deserve better. You all do.” _Why does nothing feel real?_

“You never expected to come back. You expected to fly off with the Doctor,” said Angie. 

This shouldn’t have surprised Rose. It wasn’t even a particularly hard deduction for Angie to make, and yet it did surprise her, because she’d been trying not to think about that. Even when she’d been trying to get back to warn the Doctor there was too much at stake to worry about what happened to her, but Angie was right. It had always been her unvoiced hope that she would travel with him again, and she gave up that dream when she thought she could live a life with John Smith.

“I can’t fault you for that,” Angie continued, “but I do worry about you.”

Rose laughed. “Angie, you worry about everyone, the whole band of misfits. Sometimes I think you worry about them more than I do. I’m glad we’ve got you to sort us all out.” 

Angie smiled at her and began rummaging in her bag for something. “Yeah you need me, and you’re _really_ about to thank me for this next trick.” She pulled a small metal bottle from her bag. 

“And what’s that?” Rose asked.

“First, take a deep breath.” Angie gestured to the air as she breathed in. 

Rose realized she wouldn’t get answers from Angie unless she humored her, so she closed her eyes and did as instructed. She took several deep breaths, and while the mechanical scent of the lift left something to be desired, it did help ground her. Things felt a bit more real.

“You can do this. You’re our fearless leader.”

Rose laughed. 

“I’m serious. You saw us through the end of the Cyberman. Then you rebuilt Torchwood and you did all of that with a broken heart. You can handle this too, and for the moments you can’t, well, I’m here. I’ll listen.”

“Last time he didn’t trick me,” said Rose. “That’s why this is worse.”

“Did he _really_ trick you? Or did you know exactly what he was doing and you let it happen?” asked Angie.

The tears came back with a vengeance. Rose took a breath. 

“I’m sorry, I- I should shut up,” said Angie. “Here!” She pulled out a package of tissues from her pocket and handed them to her. Rose dabbed at her eyes. 

“My makeup is a mess and my eyes are all red. I can’t meet the Doctor like this.”

“That’s why I have this,” said Angie handing her the spray bottle. 

“A perception filter?” asked Rose.

“Yeah, a low level one.” Angie grinned at her mischievously. “Basically it makes people see you how they are used to seeing you. No one will notice you’ve been crying.”

“When did we invent that?”

“Technically we haven’t, since Wilson considered it a failed batch and the paperwork was never completed. He told me to dispose of it. He didn’t think it was useful, but I’ve found my uses for it,” Angie smirked at her, “Remember that horrible acne break out I had last week.”

“No,” said Rose. She laughed “Oh!”

“Exactly!” said Angie.

“Personal use of Torchwood property, you know that’s still in the rules as grounds for termination,” said Rose with a smirk on her face.

“Well, you better not use it then,” said Angie or I’ll get you voted out by the board. 

Rose laughed. “We don’t have a board. We have Pete Tyler.”

“Oh darn, you saw through my cunning plan,” said Angie.

“The Doctor can see through perception filters,” said Rose more seriously.

“Only when he’s looking for them. Why would he be looking for them on you? He trusts you,” 

Rose took the bottle, closed her eyes, and sprayed her face. A light mist fell down upon her. She opened her eyes. It wasn’t the first time she used something like this at Torchwood so she knew what to expect. There was a momentary haze and then it cleared. She hit the resume button on the lift. Moments later the two of them stepped out and walked down the hall to Lab 2.


	8. Mom was Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose meets the 12th Doctor and it's difficult for her to say the least. Telepathic mushrooms don't help matters. Mean while John Smith is trying to convince his boss that the Vashta Nerada exist by using copious amounts of fried chicken.

Rose took a deep breath before pulling open the door to Lab 2. Angie followed her inside. 

“Rose Tyler!” said a tall man with gray hair leaning up against the blue telephone police box. “It’s good to see you.” He approached her and held out his hand like they were old coworkers meeting for coffee after several years at different jobs. 

Even with Angie’s warning Rose hadn’t been expecting to be greeted like this. Still, she smiled and shook his hand. “Doctor, welcome to Torchwood,” she said. 

Angie, excused herself, and gave the Doctor a wave before heading over to tend to the mushrooms, being grown in large humidity controlled containers on top of a long table only a short distance away. Rose watched her sit down to inspect one of them and noted she was also perfectly positioned to keep an eye on her and the Doctor. She wasn’t sure if she felt comforted or annoyed by the supervision, maybe a bit of both. She turned her attention back to the Doctor.

He studied her. “Why do those boxes make you nervous?”

“Who said it's the boxes?” said Rose, deciding if he was only seeing her nerves, maybe he wouldn’t look any closer and see how upset she had really been.

He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I make you nervous. Why?” He asked. Rose raised her eyebrows but said nothing. “I know I’ve changed, but I’m still the Doctor,” said the Doctor. “Unless you're doing something here you know I wouldn’t approve of. What’s in the boxes?” 

The voice was all wrong. He sounded Scottish. She struggled against the skeptical expression growing on her face. “Mushrooms, specifically Flammulina Telapathia,” said Rose. 

“I’m not familiar with that species,” said the Doctor. “But the name indicates...Telepathic Mushrooms? Oh, I can feel it.” He walked over to the container Angie was monitoring and peered inside. “The mushrooms aren’t making you nervous. The mushrooms _are_ nervous.”

Rose stepped beside him. 

“Not exactly,” said Angie, “The mushrooms feed off the emotions of everyone in the room, and everyone in this room is nervous about the shadows.” 

“Then why don’t you grow them someplace free of this telepathic noise?” said the Doctor “This can’ be good for them.”

Angie stood up. “I’ll have you know that I’ve studied this species for years and they thrive on telepathic noise. If I were to put them in a room the mycelium would grow at half the rate.”

“Faster growth rate doesn’t always mean healthier,” said the Doctor. 

“If you don’t approve, then you’ve come to the wrong place,” said Rose, “because these mushrooms are critical to our selective memory wipe process.” Rose stared at him, still not quite believing this man was the Doctor. The Doctor she knew wouldn’t so casually stroll in and ask for you to wipe someone’s memory. 

The Doctor’s eyes darted from her to the mushrooms and back again. “You don’t believe it’s me? A man in a blue box materializes inside the deepest floor of your Torchwood, calls you by name, and still you can’t see me.”

Rose frowned realizing the mushrooms had just given her away. “It’s just that accent will take some getting used to.”

“I’m a time lord who changes his face and you’re worried about my accent,” said the Doctor. “Typical.” He muttered this last part grumply under his breath.

Rose smiled. There was a hint of the man she knew still inside. Although this one reminded her more of the first face she met. “You are the Doctor. How can I help?”

“There was an infant skeleton found last week in the bookshop. I believe you’re aware of it.”

“Yes, we know it’s these shadow swarm creatures, but how that infant ended up inside a locked bookshop is still a big mystery.”

“Mystery solved. I have the mother of that child asleep in my TARDIS. It’s my fault she ended up in that bookshop at night.” 

“What happened?” asked Rose. Her mouth hung open in horror. She glanced at Angie who didn’t react and realized he’d already told her. 

The Doctor glanced at Rose then turned and started towards his TARDIS. Rose followed. She wanted an explanation. 

“Doctor? What happened?” 

“You already know what happened,” he said. 

“Whatcha bring ‘em back in time for?” asked Rose, her voice rising in frustration. 

“It was an accident. I materialized around them in the bookshop, _your_ Doctor, Margaret Blake, and her baby. I didn’t even realize I had done it. You see, I didn’t know I was in this universe.” The Doctor frowned as he shook his head. “Why would I? You know better than anyone how impossible it is for me to be here. I thought I was crashing through time, falling into the past. I didn’t realize I was hurtling through the past in _this_ universe. I think that’s why it happened.”

“That’s why _what_ happened?” asked Rose. She thought she knew the answer, but she wanted him to explain it.”

“It’s either that or _your_ Doctor was throwing off the navigation. Instead of leaving them behind I brought them with me. We traveled backwards one week. This Maragaret, she was terrified. She ran out with her baby. _Your_ Doctor seemed to know what was going to happen. I should have been paying more attention.”

Rose tried not to wince at the words _Your Doctor_. She covered it by frowning. At least things were starting to make sense. No one had reported a missing child a week ago, because he hadn’t gone missing yet. 

“When you say _my_ Doctor...” Rose bit down on her lip. Then she realized what she was doing and quickly stopped. She wondered how much this perception field was really hiding, especially with those mushrooms in the same room. Had he noticed her wince? 

“Oh, is he going by John Smith now? I didn’t think to ask,” said the Doctor casually. “I imagine you wouldn’t introduce your boyfriend to everyone as the Doctor.” 

Rose stared at him for a minute. Angie was right. “Yeah, he’s going by John Smith,” Rose said, recovering. She couldn’t bring herself to say anymore.

“Unfortunately, it’s a fixed point, a paradox,” the Doctor continued. If he noticed her discomfort, he was doing a good job of ignoring it. “The TARDIS was drawn to _your_ Doctor, to John Smith, but he was only there because of the missing child. It’s a paradox, but it sealed itself by creating an endless loop. No damage to the universe that way.”

Again Rose stared at him, but for a new reason. She piece together what he was saying easily enough. Rose understood paradoxes as well as any human was ever going to. It was the easy way he spoke about this child's death that troubled her. “But what happened to the baby? It was this shadow swarm, right?” Rose already knew the answer but she was hoping to see something more familiar, more human on this Doctor’s face. 

“Yes, the vashta nerada,” said the Doctor flatly, his expression remained neutral.

“The vashta what?” Rose gave him a confused look.

“That’s what they’re called. _Your_ Doctor, John Smith, must have told you.”

“No, afraid not,” said Rose.

He scrunched up his eyebrows. “That does sound like me at all. I loved showing off, especially back then, and especially to you. So why didn’t he tell you?”

“Never mind that! Just tell what we do about them?” demanded Rose.

“It wasn’t a surprise to John, finding the vashta nerada in that bookshop. I can’t believe he didn’t tell you what they’re called.”

“Doctor can we please focus on the actual problem,” said Rose. These things are deadly. What do we do about them?” 

“Right, you’re right of course,” said the Doctor. “John Smith is monitoring the situation. He’s already confirmed they hatched in the bookshelves which is good because we know where they are going to be later tonight. The bad news is the swarm is huge. It will start attacking more people very soon. I’m hoping to contain them.”

“And then what?” asked Rose. She felt on much firm ground now. “We relocate them?”

“Exactly!” The Doctor grinned at her. “I’ve got a possible location where I could bring them. If only they’ll listen...” The Doctor looked up as a rattling noise came down the hall.

The Torchwood medics rolled in with a gurney. Leading the group was a man in an orange and blue hawaian shirt and shorts looking very tan. Rose almost didn’t recognize him and then it clicked.

“Dr. Sandermatch? But you’re on vacation,” said Rose.

“I just landed and I then made the mistake of checking my emails. You need me Rose, I'm here.” 

Rose stifled a laugh.“One of your team could administer Retcon. _You_ wanted to meet the Doctor.” She grinned at him then turned to the Doctor. “Doctor, this is Dr. Benny Sandermatch. He will take good care of Margaret Blake.” The Doctor shook his hand and led the team into his TARDIS. 

Rose turned her attention to Angie and walked the short distance back over to her. 

“We’re going to have to wipe the entire family. I made the right call, didn’t I?” asked Angie.

“Yes you did. If the police link that child to the death a week ago, suspicion is going to fall on Margaret Blake. She doesn’t deserve that. I wish there was another way, but this is a perfect example of when we need to act.” She pressed a button on the intercom. “Jeff Duncan you’re needed in Basement Lab 2, and assemble your Forget Team. Angie’s got the details. We need your record expertise, as usual. I want you to work with her and get it finished.” 

“Yes Ma’am! Be right there!” he said.

Rose walked back towards the TARDIS and Angie followed. Two orderlies wheeled the unconscious woman out and whisked her away. The Doctor and Dr. Sandermatch were still inside, but she thought it best to wait outside. There were years of distance between them. She could see that now. Walking in there uninvited would be like barging into an old school friend’s house as an adult after not seeing them since childhood. She glanced at Angie.

“He’s going to realize we’re not together. I don’t think I want him to,” said Rose. “You were right Angie, as usual. You were right. I should have listened.”

“How are you feeling about John Smith?” asked Angie.

“Like I don’t want to talk about it,” said Rose. She folded her arms in front of her. “ I can’t think about my mistakes right now. There are bigger issues.”

“Mistakes?” asked Angie with a half smile on her face.

“Angie, please drop it,” Rose said wearily. 

“Okay, consider it dropped.” Angie held her hand up in surrender. “Look, I was only asking because... I was in contact with John just before the Doctor arrived.” Rose looked over at her sharply, but said nothing. “I asked him about the shadows. I was too slow to rescue you earlier. I knew they were called vashta nerada, but anyway, John said some things you might need to know. If a person has two shadows they are being hunted, and unfortunately there isn’t really anything we can do, except keep everyone else away from them.” Angie frowned. “Oh and the maximum setting on those biofilters will allow us to set up a containment around zone 7.” Angie pointed to the far wall, where several tripods with round domes on top stood like sentinels. We’ll need to find some portable scanners though, maximum setting means-” 

Rose held up a hand. She knew exactly what that meant and had already lept ahead to the next problem. “Without hand held scanners containment and evacuation is useless. We need to be able to scan everyone's shadows.” Rose knew it was stupid to be angry at Angie for contacting John Smith. They needed all the help they could. She let out a sigh and the anger faded with it. She glanced over at Wilson and caught his gaze. With a single look she indicated for him to join them. 

Wilson came over as the two men stepped back into the room. Dr. Sandermatch excused himself and ran down the hall after his patient. Doctor came over to them. “So this is what you do. You just cover things up now?”

“Sometimes it’s the best we can do for them.” Rose sighed and she didn’t meet the Doctor’s gaze. It was obvious John Smith had sent him here. Angie had been right about that too. Only days before John moved out of her flat, she had wearily explained the reasons for using retcon to him. He had been quiet about it, and she suspected he silently worried about the kind of power Torchwood had, but chose not to say anything. 

“Yes, your Doctor explained. He has a lot of faith in your decisions, but they’re tough decisions. I wonder, do I turn everyone into me?” he asked. 

Rose looked at him quizzically, but she didn’t know how to answer that, so instead she said. “You mentioned you could relocate them. What do you need to make that happen?”

“I need a turkey, vinvocci glass, and for you to buy me some time. You need containment and it looks like you have the technology, those biofilters over there.” He gestured to the same stack that Angie had pointed to earlier. “Do you have more of those?”

Rose glanced at Angie and then smiled as she turned towards the Doctor. “Those are just the broken ones that Wilson thinks are unrepairable, right Wilson? How many of those do we have in stock?”

“More than enough for containment,” he replied. 

Rose expected Wilson to say more. He loved the opportunity to brag about his technology, but instead of launching into a technical explanation he simply stared at the Doctor. 

“Wilson, go on tell him about those biofilters,” said Rose.

“Um…” Wilson looked at her panic on his face. 

Rose frowned. He’d been that way with John Smith initially, she realized, but she pushed the thought aside. “Wilson has been repairing them for months. We have enough and we’ve been ready for containment for days, but with those things on the max settings a person can’t pass through the barrier. We’ll need to set up exit points and scan everyone to make sure they aren’t being hunted. The problem isn’t containment. The problem is we don’t have enough hand held scanners sensitive enough. Unless…” Rose turned toward Wilson. “You have made any breakthroughs with those round things you haven’t told me about?”

Wilson shook his head. “We have tons of these scanners,” He held up a sphere. “They were on a small container ship that crashed about a decade ago. I’ve repaired the damage, but can’t get them working.” He hung his head and held the sphere out to the Doctor, defeated. 

There were days Rose wished “Mr. 3 degrees” were a little more humble, but today wasn’t one of them. She needed everyone at their best, and no one performed at their best when they assumed they were inferior to someone else.

“Well of course you can’t program them, you’re pudding brains,” said the Doctor taking the sphere in his hand. “This Jegtroctic technology. You need telepathic abilities in order to program it. May I?”

Wilson nodded. The Doctor pressed a button and the lights lit up. Then he adjusted his grip so that three of his fingers covered three yellow divots. He closed his eyes for a moment. The lights began to blink rapidly. Then the pattern slowed. 

“Now programmed,” a nasal sounding voice spoke, “English verbal commands recognized as an alternate interface method.” The machine sounded halfway between bored and mildly irritated. Rose half expected it to sigh dramatically after speaking. 

“Now don’t be like that. These pudding brains can’t help their genetics,” said the Doctor. He handed the device back to Wilson. “Now hold it like I just did and-” 

“Time Lord!” The device shrieked suddenly. Rose caught sight of the display and saw two hearts, which erased any lingering doubt. “Extinct species Time Lord.”

“Try again. Scan me for void radiation.”

“No need to rescan. The initial scan was sufficient. Void radiation detected. You are not from this universe. You’re the one the humans call Doctor.”

“That’s me, now if you please work with my friend here,” said the Doctor “Wilson put your thumb- Yes, good, just like that.”

“It’s self aware?” asked Rose. 

Wilson was now holding it like the Doctor had been, with his fingers in the divots. “And now what?” He asked. 

“You heard the Doctor, just talk to it,” said Rose.

“Scan for…” Wilson glanced at the Doctor. “What did you call them?”

“Vashta nerada,” said Rose.

“Scan for vashta nerada,” said Wilson. 

“Input recognized. No life forms detected,” said the bored sounding voice.

“Well, that’s a relief,” said Angie, “I’m glad there are none here.”

“And you’re sure this thing knows what that is?” asked Wilson.

“The vashta nerada, piranhas of the air, shadows that melt flesh. No life signs detected.” The voice sounded more irritated this time.

“It’s listening all the time… It understood me,” said Wilson “If that’s the case then why do I need to hold it a certain way?”

Rose smiled. Wilson’s curiosity was returning and he just spoke to the Doctor like he would anyone else.

“Because it wants you to,” said the Doctor, “Rose is correct. That is a self aware operating system, be nice to it. Do what it wants.” 

Wilson wore a befuddled look. He started to ask something else, but the Doctor held up a hand. 

“It’s telepathic and it’s been alone for a very long time,” said the Doctor. 

Rose thought she heard sympathy in the Doctor’s tone and wondered how long he’d been traveling alone. John Smith had confessed his suspicions to her about what really happened to the Doctor-Donna. Had he been alone since he erased Donna’s memory? Rose refocused her attention on what the Doctor was saying.

“...who knows, if you're nice to it, someday it might develop a point and think setting specifically for you humans,” said the Doctor. He turned to Rose. “Now listen, enough of them have hatched that it poses a serious threat to this city. I recommend you evacuate as soon as you can.” 

Before Rose could answer, a sharp clean shaven man in his mid thirties raced through the door. “You summoned me ma’am,” he said before giving her a salute.

“Jeff, for the last time this isn’t a military establishment. Call me Rose,” she said.

“Yes ma’am, sorry… Rose,” said Jeff. 

Angie stifled a laugh. 

“Work with Angie, she has the details,” said Rose. But he was no longer looking at her. Instead he was glancing from the Doctor to the TARDIS. “Yes, this is the Doctor.” 

“It’s an honor, sir.” He gave the Doctor a salute. The Doctor gave the slightest of nods and Rose felt certain his eyebrows became even angrier. Angie shook her head and guided Jeff over to a computer. 

“Wilson, I need you to work with the Doctor. Get him some vinvocci glass, a turkey, and anything he needs. I’m going to coordinate sealing off Zone 7,” Rose turned and headed for the door. 

“Do you think they’ll listen?” asked Wilson.

Rose turned. “Oh, _they’ll_ listen,” Rose said with determination, “Because I’ll remind them what happened last time they didn’t listen to Torchwood.”

“Rose, just so we’re clear that wasn’t a criticism,” said Wilson. He stepped over to her and lowered his voice, “Look, all those years ago when I thought you shouldn’t be in charge… I know we moved past it, but I never officially apologized…” Wilson glanced down at the floor. “Well, I’m sorry. I was wrong about you. You have this way of inspiring people and getting them to work together,” he looked back up at her. “I don’t envy what you need to do next, but I know you’ve planned for this. If anyone can convince these stubborn people to work together, it's you.”

Rose gave him a half smile. “Thanks, I appreciate that.” 

“If they don’t listen to you it’s, because they are too stubborn to listen to anyone,” he said.

Rose nodded grimly then she turned and headed for the door. _No, Wilson, I envy you._ Even as conflicted as she felt right now about the Doctor, she’d rather be in Wilson’s shoes. Helping the Doctor was going to be way more fun than navigating the bureaucracy in order to evacuate a large section of London, but he was right. She had planned for this. One of the first things she did when she took over Torchwood was develop a rapport with the city leaders, the police chief, and the leaders of the army patrols, because the lack of unity, more than anything else, had caused the problem with the cybermen to escalate. She now knew the proper channels and the correct protocol, some of which she had helped establish. Her stomach still churned with dread. Even as he complemented her Wilson had voiced her concern. She had made great strides to establish Torchwood’s credibility, but that was no guarantee the leaders would agree to evacuate. If they didn’t, people would die.

* * *

The Doctor, or rather John Smith, who in absolutely no way thought of himself as the Doctor, walked down the street with his boss Rachel. Each of them carried a towering stack of takeout boxes. An oily scent of fried chicken trailed behind them down the street as they went. The recently hatched vashta nerada would probably only eat a small bite of this chicken, but John wasn’t taking any chances. 

Rachel kept glancing his way. He just needed her to stick with him long enough to prove the vashta nerada existed, and hopefully seeing it would be enough to convince her to leave. 

“John, this is ridiculous.” she said. “Why do we need this many-”

“Doctor?” A voice called interrupting her. They heard footsteps race up from behind them. John turned his whole body so as not to drop the boxes that he half supported by resting his chin on top of them. He spotted Bill and Joey. Their pug pulled at the lead and stood up on his hind legs to sniff excitedly at the air. “Sit Wrinkles!” commanded Joey. The dog reluctantly obeyed, but did not take his eyes off the stack of boxes as he whimpered quietly.

“No one believes us about the shadows,” said Bill. “No one!”

“Okay that’s it I’ve had enough of this! How much did he pay you?” asked Rachel as she turned to face the kids. “How much did he pay you to say that? I promise I’ll triple it, if you tell me about this scam of his.”

“What?” asked Bill. “What scam?”

“No one believes me either,” said John. My friend Rachel here thinks you're part of some elaborate scam. I’m trying to prove it to her.”

“Oh, so that’s why you have all the chicken,” said Joey.

“I shouldn’t need this much for the small swarm in the shop.” I have _this_ many in case I need to prove it to anyone else,” said John. Looking around he realized they were near the very same alley he had first met these kids. 

Wrinkles suddenly began to pull at the leash in the opposite direction of the chicken his whimpering grew louder. The two boys exchanged a fearful glance and then looked at John who’s expression matched theirs. John thrust the boxes at Bill. Though taken by surprise he still managed to catch all but one without dropping them. The dog showed no interest in the box that was now available to him and continued to pull at the leash in the opposite direction.

John already had the sonic out; it let out a shrill noise as he grabbed a chicken wing from the box. He whipped back around, sonic in one hand and chicken in the other, but he didn’t need either to identify the out-of-place shadow stretching out from the alley. It lay across the sidewalk in front of them dark and foreboding 

An elderly couple holding hands approached from the other side direction. They had only a few more steps before they reached it. 

“Stop! Don't move,” he shouted at them. He tossed the chicken at the shadow. All but the bones vanished. 

The woman gasped and backed up a few feet, pulling at the man’s arm. The man stood fixed gaping. Then he then looked at John. 

“You saw that right?” he asked the pair of them. A piece of chicken flew past the Doctor’s ear and dissolved before hitting the ground. He could tell Rachel had thrown it, not Bill, because it flew past his right ear and she was standing to his right.

“That’s…” he heard Rachel say. Another piece of chicken flew through the air and again only the bones landed. He had to hand it to Rachel. She had good aim. “That’s impossible!” She said.

The couple stared at the shadow and slowly backed away.

Behind him he could hear Joey trying to comfort his frightened dog.

“Good,” said Bill, “you tell your friends,” shouted Bill. “That’s what’s been killing things! And it's bigger and more aggressive. It won’t stop at pets and babies anymore.” 

John glanced at Bill and nodded. The teen had obviously been paying attention to the news and his assessment of the swarm was accurate. For the moment between heartbeats he thought about asking Bill to travel with him in the TARDIS, but then that single rhythm reminded him who he was now. He shifted his focus to the present.

“My young friend here is right.” He said to the couple. “Get far away from here. In fact, it's best if you leave this zone completely,” said John. 

They said nothing as they turned and hurried away.

“John, what did I just witness?” asked Rachel.

He looked over his shoulder at her. “You didn’t just witness, you participated.”

“But what was that?”

“I told you, the vashta nerada,” said John, he didn’t have time to clarify because he heard the approach of another group. He turned and saw a family on their side of the shadow, two men each holding the hand of a young toddler in a purple dress. The girl laughed gleefully as she leapt and swung between them. 

“Again! Again!” cried the girl still laughing.

John grabbed a box and darted in front of them only a few feet before the shadow, blocking their path.

“Sorry, can’t go through this way. It’s not safe!” said John urgently. 

“Nonsense! We just came from this direction,” said the taller of the two men. He glared at John in what he assumed was an attempt to look intimidating. It worked, because even though they were similar heights, this man was nearly twice John’s size and all muscle. 

“You can’t tell us what to do. We won’t stand for it,” said the other man, also of an athletic build. He realized one good shove from either of them could cause him to stumble into the swarm. 

John decided to let the chicken do the explaining. He tossed a leg at the shadow and once more it vanished. The girl who had been giggling stopped and stared. He lobbed another one and the girl let go of the taller man’s hand. Her eyes grew wide as she pointed at the shadow. Then she pantomimed throwing something into it. 

“What is going on?” asked the taller of the two men.

“Is this your daughter?” he asked. John saw the scowl deepen, so he added quickly, “because if you want to keep her safe then get away from here. Back up and head out of zone 7.”

“But we live in zone 7,” protested the shorter man.

Rachel took a few steps toward them and lobbed another chicken wing into the shadow. And the girl squealed with delight as it dissolved. 

“Again, again!” she squeaked. 

“Then go stay at a friend's house, rent a hotel,” said John, “Go somewhere, anywhere else tonight.” 

They looked at each other frowning. 

“Again!” demanded the girl. 

He glanced at Rachel. “Now do you believe me?” 

She tossed another bit of chicken over his head at the shadow. It fell short, she tried again and this one hit its mark and dissolved. 

The girl laughed and jumped into the air. “Again!” She said through laughter.

He glanced back over at the two men who were engaged in a quiet discussion, about where they would go. 

The girl darted forward having broken free of both of them and made a beeline for the chicken leg that hadn’t quite made it into the shadow. “No,” cried the shorter man in unison with John Smith.

John lunged and caught the girl by the arm just a foot from the shadow’s edge. 

She shrieked, and began to cry. John pulled her away. 

“Daddy,” she cried. 

The shorter man raced forward and took her into his arms. 

The little girl whimpered. While the shorter man held her whispering words of comfort.

“Katie, sweetie that could have been you,” said the taller man. 

“Don’t scare her like that!” said the shorter one. 

“She needs to be a little more scared. She could have died and all because you let go of her!”

“You let go of her first!” 

The Doctor decided not to get involved, both men recognized the danger and that was all that mattered. They continued to argue as they turned and walked away, but they walked away alive. 

Now that the immediate threat to the child had passed, Rachel had began lobbing more chicken into the swarm. She emptied one box and started on the next. Rachel and the young girl were cut from the same mold, John decided. The faster he could get her away from here the better, but Rachel’s demonstration caught the attention of three more people, who decided to turn around and walk in the other direction. Several more approached and Bill and Joey offered explanations to them and also tossed chicken into the air. The pile of bones grew steadily larger. 

As Rachel reached for the next piece. John grabbed her arm. He shook his head. “I think that’s enough,” he said. “Look around, the street is quiet. It’s better to save it.”

“Hey, so long as they're eating this then they aren’t eating anyone else, like us,” said Rachel. 

John had to admit she may have had a point. The four of them just sort of glanced at each other. Most of the chicken had been depleted. There were only two boxes left in Bill’s stack and two left in Rachel’s. 

Wrinkles whimpered again and tugged at the leash first in one direction and then the other. 

“The shadow,” cried Bill. John turned. Bright sunlight now illuminated a sizable pile of chicken bones. It was gone. He scanned the street with the sonic. It whistled and the pitch confirmed the vashta nerada had vanished. 

He looked toward Rachel. “The bookshelves bring the darkness!”

She nodded. “But how did that baby carriage get inside? The shop was locked!”

“That is very, um well…” John shifted uneasily as he rubbed at his ear. “You can’t expect me to have all the answers, can you?”

“But John, you know. I can see it on your face. You know!” said Rachel.

“Look, the big problem is this swarm was smaller a week ago, so it only attacked the baby. But we’re all in danger now. Anyone of us is a potential meal.”

“Why did it leave?” asked Bill, “Why didn’t it try to get any of us? If it can move that fast why didn’t it get that girl?”

“I don’t know.” John shrugged and then ran a hand through his hair. “Filled up on chicken maybe, maybe it understood we were exposing it, or maybe…” John gasped. “No, that can’t be, can it?”

“Doctor?” asked Bill.

“I grabbed her arm. You see you’re right it should have started hunting her,” said John. I looked for a second shadow and there wasn’t one. I think I confused it, by holding on to her.”

Joey grabbed Bill's hand. John smiled at him in approval.

“We live in zone 7 too. Should we leave?” asked Bill. “How do we convince our parents?”

“You keep those,” said John gesturing to the boxes of chicken. “If you see anything suspicious you know what to do. That should be enough to convince your parents. “But you might not need to convince them. Torchwood should be ordering an evacuation. Now off you go, be safe."

The kids said goodbye and hurried off. John wandered over to the spot where the shadow had been. He scanned with his sonic once more. There was nothing. 

“You’re the man from those videos,” said Rachel walking over to him. “This Doctor who saved us from the cybermen, aren’t you?” 

John turned towards her. “I’ve proven it to you and you promised. You said you’d go home. You should be safe outside of this zone. Their range isn’t that far.”

“But you’re going to stay even though those things could eat you?”

“Someone needs to warn people,” said John. 

“But it’s my bookshop. I should help.”

He shook his head. “You have a husband and a son. You have a family. You need to stay alive for them.”

“And you don’t?” she asked. 

He looked down at the bones around his feet.

“You _are_ the same man who stopped the cybermen,” said Rachel studying him. “There are so many stories about you. The lonely man, the time traveler. It came out later as a hoax. Someone traced all the rumors to this man named...Ricky, I think it was. They confronted him and he eventually admitted it, but it wasn’t a hoax, was it? I think Ricky knew exactly what he was doing. He was giving the world hope when they needed it most. It inspired others to rise up and fight back. That’s what you do, isn’t it?”

John smiled at this. “Mickey the idiot…” he said quietly.

“You are him. Just admit it!”

“Rachel, go home,” he said. He looked back up at her and fixed her with a determined expression. 

“Not until you’ve answered my question.”

He shook his head and sighed. “No, I wish I were the Doctor, but not. I just have a similar face.” 

Rachel looked at him like she didn’t quite believe him. 

“When the one who denies his true self proves the shadows exist, then you must leave. Your work is done...” Rachel said quietly as she zoned out on where the shadow had been. 

He gave her a puzzled look. 

“Mom was right. She said that over a week ago, and she’s not one for riddles. I thought it was very strange, so strange I wrote it down.” Rachel frowned. “I think she meant you. I guess I should listen to her.” 

Rachel gathered up the empty chicken boxes and stuffed them in the nearby rubbish bin. Then she handed him one of the two remaining boxes. “I’m keeping this one just in case, or in case I get hungry. Be careful, Doctor!” she said and then walked off down the street towards home. 

John let out a sigh, and walked the empty street back towards the shop alone.


	9. Have You Seen This Face?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a long one but I'd like to think it's worth it. The 12th Doctor and Rose have a heart to heart and we find out more about Twelve's plan for the vashta nerada.

Rose and Angie stepped off the lift heading for the lab.

“If a few years ago someone told me I could mobilize an army, I’d have told them they were mad,” said Rose.

“Well, it did take _some_ convincing,” said Angie, “but you were brilliant!” 

“It still took longer than I would’ve liked,” said Rose, “Thanks for your help in there. We’d might still be in there arguing without those graphs.” 

“I never thought my excel wizardry might save the world,” said Angie grinning at her.

“It’s not over yet,” said Rose grimly. “Are we missing anything? There isn’t anything else John Smith told you that I need to know, is there?”

Angie frowned, hesitated for a moment, and then shook her head. “I’ve told you everything he did about the vashta nerada.” 

Rose frowned, feeling certain John Smith had asked about her, but decided that she really didn’t need to know. 

As they entered Lab 2, the scent of turkey dinner wafted toward them. Wilson wheeled over a cart with a cooked turkey on a giant platter, and Rose wondered vaguely what alien gadget he had used to cook a turkey in so quickly.

“Is Christmas coming early?” asked Angie grinning at him.

“I take it they listened,” Wilson said, “Otherwise you’d be doing a lot less smiling.”

Rose nodded. “I hope you’re ready to show the army how to set up those bio-filters.”

  
He grinned at her. “I just need the extra manpower to physically put them in position, but I can activate all of them remotely. Oh, and I’ve trained everyone on how to use these scanners.”

“Good work! I want at least one of us positioned at each exit point.” 

“What, don’t trust the military?” asked Wilson, he could barely contain his grin.

Rose gave him a look that plainly indicated he already knew the answer to that question. “They’ll be here very soon to transport the biofilters. I want you waiting for them by the door when they do.”

Wilson’s grin faded. “Rose, we can’t let the army stuff them in their trucks. I assumed we’d be driving them there.”

“What, you don’t trust the military?” Angie grinned at him. 

Wilson glanced at Angie but didn’t smile. He looked back at Rose. 

“I know you’d rather we transport them ourselves, but we have one van,” said Rose. “It will take too long.”

“This is delicate equipment. We can’t let them manhandle it. They need to be supervised at the very least.”

“I’m glad you agree because you’re going with them.”

“What?”

“They’ve been instructed to follow your orders regarding the placement and transport of the biofilters.”

“Me? You put _me_ in charge of the army?”

The Doctor picked this moment to poke his head out from the TARDIS. He grinned when he spotted the turkey and hurried over. 

“You’re the expert,” said Angie, “Mr. Three Degrees, this is your time to shine.”

Rose smiled at him. “You got this, Wilson.” 

“Wilson’s in charge of an army. I’d say that’s an improvement over most generals,” said the Doctor. 

Rose’s grin widened. “See, even the Doctor agrees.”

“I just meant that…” The Doctor paused as he looked at Wilson. “No, never mind. You’ll do splendid, I'm sure. I mean look at the excellent job you did with this turkey.”

Angie and Wilson exchanged a look as the Doctor picked up the turkey platter. 

“Rose, will you come with me a moment? I have a very important question for you,” the Doctor tilted his head in the direction of the TARDIS. 

Rose motioned to follow him. 

“You’re not abandoning us, are you?” asked Angie. 

Rose turned and noticed one corner of her friend’s mouth formed an amused smile, but this failed to hide the creases growing on her forehead.

“No. Never!” Rose attempted a reassuring smile. “I’m not running off. I’m going to be right there in the middle of this.” 

Angie nodded, but the lines on her forehead didn’t completely disappear.

“Angie, I promise.” Rose met her eyes. “Everyone has their instructions. They know what to do. If the Doctor needs my help, I’m going to help, but don’t think for one second that means I’m abandoning Torchwood. I’m going to be wherever I’ll be most use in stopping the vashta nerada. It might be on the TARDIS or it might not. Let me go find out what he wants.”

Angie smiled. “I shouldn’t have doubted you.”

By the time Rose turned back around the Doctor was already inside the TARDIS, but the doors remained open for her. She hurried after him, but froze in the doorway. Her mouth fell open. This wasn’t the TARDIS, not the TARDIS she remembered. It was bigger on the inside, but that was the only thing familiar about the control room; everything else was different, including the man standing at the controls. 

“Out or in. I don’t want the army walking through those doors,” said the Doctor. He leaned against the shiny new console watching her. 

Rose stepped fully inside and the doors closed behind her. She gaped at the interior as she slowly walked forward. Gone were the tan walls and arcing support beams. The rubber mallet for hammering uncooperative buttons would have looked out of place in this control room, had it been there. This TARDIS looked elegant, like a proper spaceship, very Mr. Spock. Rose frowned as she looked around. She half expected to see Spock walk down from the upper level, speaking in quiet impassive tones about something very logical. 

“What do you think?” he asked. 

“It’s new!” said Rose. “I thought there was only one left?”

“It’s the same TARDIS. It redecorates from time to time, that’s all,” said the Doctor. 

“It redecorates...” Rose echoed quietly, still marveling at her surroundings.

“Do you like it?”

Her eyes met the Doctor. “I suppose I could get used to it.”

“That’s not what I asked,” said the Doctor. He gave her a suspicious look before going down to the lower level of his TARDIS. Rose peeked down over the railing. He came back up the stairs a moment later with something that looked like jumper cables.

“So what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh right! Have you seen this face before?” he asked. She thought she saw him gesture to his own face as he hurried over to the controls.

Her forehead wrinkled in response and it took a moment before she asked “What?” 

The Doctor placed the cables on top of a glass box with metal trim that sat beside the controls. That would be the vinvocci glass he wanted, she realized with a pang of regret, wishing that she had been the one helping him instead of Wilson. She had hoped he wanted her help now in whatever he had planned for this turkey, some kind of trap for the vashta nerada, she assumed, but it seemed there was something else he was after. 

“This face,” he said pointing again at his own face with both hands. “Have you seen this face before you met me?”

“No,” said Rose with a tone of uncertainty in her voice.

“Are you sure?” asked the Doctor. 

“It’s your face. How could I have seen it before I met you?” asked Rose, growing more alarmed by his questions. Was there a time lord equivalent of dementia? 

“No, don’t you do that,” he said, glancing over at her from the monitor. He looked back at it and pressed a button.

“Do what?” asked Rose. 

“That thing with your face that you're doing. There are too many emotions on it. You’re both happy and sad, both confused and worried.”

“Doctor, I _am_ worried. How long have you been by yourself?” 

The Doctor scowled at the screen. Then he let out a sigh. “I hate waiting, but there’s no rushing this machine, not in this universe.” He turned back towards her. “Stop doing that. Seriously it's unnerving. How do _you_ do that?”

“I’m not doing anything,” said Rose, frowning. “This is just my face. Just like that’s _your_ face.” Rose pointed at him.

“Well it's very confusing. You and Clara could hold a competition for the most emotions expressed simultaneously. Do humans have a competition for that sort of thing? If they do you should apply.” 

“Who’s Clara?” asked Rose. She walked over to the glass box and picked up one end of the cable examining it. If he did have something like dementia would she even be able to tell? More importantly would his science still hold up? This entire plan depended on him and lives were at stake. 

“Just a friend I travel with some of the time, most of the time. To answer your question, I haven't been alone for more than a few hours, and some of that time I was with your John Smith.”

“Where is Clara this time?” asked Rose, trying her best to ignore the words ‘your John Smith’ and the emotions that threatened to surface.

“She’s cross with me. She told me to go a long way away, and it looks like I did.” The Doctor crouched down beside the box, flipped a latch, and the door opened.

“Oh, why’s that then?” asked Rose. _Because that makes two of us._

“That’s a long story. We have time, but not that much.” He walked over towards the turkey, which she noticed was sitting on top of one of the metal chairs spaced at regular intervals around the room. “I’m not going mad, I promise,” He looked back at her. “You’re worried about me, because you didn’t understand my question.” 

Rose frowned and folded her arm in front of her waiting for him to explain. 

“Look, I know this is an old face from my past. One I’ve seen before, I must have chosen it for a reason. It’s like I’m trying to tell myself something. Since my past is more recent for you, I thought you might remember seeing it.” He picked up the turkey.

“Can that happen? You just pick someone else’s face and copy it?”

“Yes it can. The girls have more of a knack for it. Ramama did it once.”

“Ramana?” asked Rose.

“I must have told you about Ramama?” said the Doctor. He slid the turkey inside the glass box, closed the door, and clicked the latch back into place. When Rose didn’t answer, he looked back at her. “No, that’s right. I didn’t like to talk much about my people back then. But this face, I’d expected to figure it by now out. It’s not so new anymore. It’s been months and I still don’t know. Are you sure you haven’t seen it before?”

“No, I haven’t. I think I’d remember,” said Rose, “Wait! Hold on! Did you say months? Months since you regenerated?”

The Doctor walked back down to the lower level and Rose followed him down the stairs. 

He opened a storage compartment. “At my age I lose track, but I think it’s been less than a year.”

“But you already have grey hair.”

The Doctor sighed. “Judging someone based on their appearance, that’s not the Rose I remember,” he said as he pulled out a black case. He flipped open the lid. There was a syringe inside. He removed it carefully and examined it. Then shook his head and put it back. “Needs to be bigger. They need to be able to detect it,” he muttered to himself. He snapped the lid closed, and handed it to her. Then he continued searching. 

“I just thought you always started off younger since that’s what you did last time,” said Rose. 

“Last time?” He paused his search to look at her. “Oh right, you mean when I regenerated after absorbing the time vortex.” He turned back toward the compartment and began pulling more cases out, piling each new case on top of the one he already handed her until she had amassed a sizabe stack in her arms. They leaned a bit to one side and she tried hard not to drop them. Finally he opened what appeared to be the last one. He nodded and closed it. Then he turned towards her. “I’ve regenerated twice since you’ve seen me, Rose.” 

“Twice!” Rose’s startled at this and the stack started to sway. The case on top slipped. The Doctor caught it. He quickly stuffed it back inside the compartment. Then he hurried to put the rest of them back, before they crashed on the floor. “How long _has_ it been?” she asked after he tucked the last one safely away.

The look he gave her right before turning to climb the stairs made her wish she hadn't asked that question. She was no longer certain she wanted to know the answer.

“A very long time,” said the Doctor once they were back up on the main control deck. His voice was quiet, gentle, as if that might help reduce the shock. “At least a thousand years.”

“What?!” asked Rose. She stared at the Doctor. 

“I’m over 2000 years old, hardly the same person you knew.”

“You’re still the Doctor,” said Rose, but her voice was flat. She tried again. “You are. You’re still the Doctor. That’s all that matters.” 

He looked back at her studying her face carefully. “Your voice says that, but your face says something different,” said the Doctor. “And your face is right. I’m not _your_ Doctor. _Your_ Doctor is gone. A new man took his place.”

Rose bit down on her lip. “Look, shouldn’t we be doing something to stop the vashta nerada?” Not bothering to conceal her obvious attempt to change the subject.

“We are doing that. That’s what all of this is for,” said the Doctor gesturing to the box and the cables. “But I’ve got to wait for this program to run before I know if this planet I have in mind will work. I might need to pick a different one.” He looked at the screen and frowned. “I guess that means you and I have a chance to catch up.” He placed the syringe case gently down on one of the chairs. “Unless,” he paused to look at her. “You’re probably anxious to get back to your team and to see John Smith. No, I suppose I shouldn't keep you,” he said, “I’m sure you want to make sure he’s okay in that bookshop all by himself with that deadly flesh-eating swarm,” said the Doctor, giving her a sardonic smile. 

Rose failed to mask the pain on her face, and worse he noticed. The perception filter also failed. 

“And there it is. The answer to my second important question,” said the Doctor, a hint of sadness flickered on his face.

“Which is?” asked Rose, even thought she knew playing dumb wouldn’t work on him. 

“There is a flesh eating swarm on the loose, but that doesn’t scare you nearly as much as the name-”

“Of course it scares me.” Rose hurried to interrupt him. Her eyes narrowed at him. “People could die. Two children already have. Of course I care. It’s you that doesn’t seem to care about that and one of those deaths is your fault!”

His face tightened, but he didn’t respond. 

Rose crossed her arms in front of her. “So, if I’m having trouble believing you're the Doctor. That’s why,” Rose said. “My Doctor would care.”

For a moment neither of them spoke. He looked at her anger flashed on his face. Rose expected she’d probably crossed a line and he would point her toward the door, but when he spoke next his voice was calm. 

“You’re not with John Smith anymore, and for some reason that makes you angry with me,” his expression shifted to bewilderment. “How long has it been for you? Since I brought you back here, a month?”

Rose shook her head. “Less than that, about two and a half weeks.”

“And you already abandoned him,” said the Doctor quietly. 

Rose heard the disappointment in his tone. She wanted so badly to shout ‘No, you abandoned me!’ but she held back, realizing it would do no good. Her mother had been right. No human could fall in love with the Doctor and expect to stay with him. Time would always force him to leave her behind. The man in front of her was proof of that. He had tried to tell her this once before, but she didn’t want to listen. Rose always knew the Doctor would out live her, but she never expected to witness it. 

“He’s not investigating for Torchwood, is he?” said the Doctor interrupting her thoughts. “He found that job on his own after you left him.”

Rose’s eyes threatened tears, so she stayed silent and studied the floor. 

“Oh of course! That’s the real reason I’m here! The TARDIS brought me here to fix this. She’s still doing things like that, the old girl.” He said smiling and tapping the console.

“So, John Smith told you?” asked Rose, curiosity getting the better of her. Besides, now that the band-aid had been ripped off, examining the wound was inevitable.

“No, not out right, he didn’t,” said the Doctor as he fidgeted with some knobs on the TARDIS controls. He looked up at Rose. “I think he was trying to protect me from the truth, just like you were. I had to piece it together. It wasn’t until he accepted my sonic screwdriver that I knew for sure.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” asked Rose.

“He accepted mine because he didn’t have his own. The amount of tools and alien tech at a place like Torchwood, he should have easily built one. You both told me everything I needed to know. Clara tells me I don’t notice people anymore. She says I don’t notice details, and she’s right about things like makeup or hair color, but those are superficial. I notice the things that matter. I notice the things going on up here.” He tapped his skull. “and in here.” He pointed at his chest. “Oh! And now it all makes sense!” He shouted. “You weren’t having four emotions at once. No one can be happy and sad at the same time. You’re wearing a perception filter.”

Rose sighed. “It barely works. All it does is show people what they expect to see.”

“And I expected to see the same happy optimistic Rose Tyler that I remember, but you’re not.” He looked at her. The kindness in his eyes was worse than the scowl she expected to see. 

“I missed the real Doctor,” said Rose. 

“You mean me?”

Rose didn’t answer.

“No, I didn’t think so. That skinny man in sandshoes is the one you fell in love with, and that’s the Doctor who is still in love with you, not this face. This old face didn’t even remember you were blond.”

“What makes you think I left _him_?” asked Rose anger back in her voice, “Maybe he left me.”

“That man would never leave you.” The Doctor shook his head. “I should know I used to be him.”

“But he did leave me,” said Rose. “You left me on a beach with a copy of yourself. He isn’t you. He’ll never be you!” Her voice broke.

“He’s more me than I am now,” said the Doctor gently, “Why did you give up on him? Rose, why isn’t he enough? I know it wasn’t only this,” he gestured to the TARDIS, “that you cared about.” 

Rose stared at him, fighting against the tears and losing. 

The Doctor leaned over the controls using both hands for support. He stared down as if he could see straight through metal into the time vortex, which he couldn’t. She could see the shadow of the man she once loved inside him. She’d seen that look on her Doctor’s face, during the moments he lost, the days he didn’t get it right. _I’m one more failure, one more thing he didn’t get right._

“I don’t come back,” he said quietly. He didn’t look at her as he spoke. “This is the first day I’ve seen you since I left you on that beach. You won’t see a younger version of me. That never happens. This is who I am now.” 

Eventually, he looked back over at her. The tears streamed down her face. She opened her mouth to speak, but had no idea what to say so she closed it again. 

“I loved being him,” continued the Doctor. “I didn’t want to change when I was shot by that dalek and even more so, when I regenerated a couple years later.” The Doctor shook his head frowning. “After the Time War, I was broken. I tried to pretend I wasn’t, but you saw through that. You stood by me. You helped me figure out who I was again.” He sighed. “I could never say the words you wanted to hear because those words are a promise, one that was impossible for me to keep. Back then, you were exactly what I needed, but I could never be what you needed.”

“You were always what I needed!” said Rose. She sniffed and wiped away the tears.

“No, I wasn’t!” his eyes met hers. “You deserve someone who could say it back.”

Silence fell between them for a moment as Rose absorbed this. He was right and she hated him for it. 

“You never come back for me?” asked Rose once she managed to compose herself again. 

The Doctor shook his head. “I couldn’t. I don’t know how I even got here. It _should_ be impossible.”

“But then who did I see three days ago?” She could still see that pained expression as he stepped backwards into the TARDIS. Even as she asked the question the answer weighed upon her. One version of the Doctor, here in this universe, was a miracle, but two? “Because I saw you with the TARDIS three days ago, the younger you. You even had the long brown coat.” Rose swallowed. You let him borrow the coat?” 

The Doctor’s mouth hung open. “I didn’t even let him borrow the TARDIS. He took them both and then he lied to me. He said he only met Wilson.”

“That was him!” her voice broke. 

“Yes, in my TARDIS, and you couldn’t tell the difference. Tell me, Rose, is he really nothing without this?” he brought his palm down with some force onto the console. 

Rose shook her head. “That isn’t it.”

“Then what _is_ it?” asked the Doctor. His eyes peered out from underneath eyebrows that seemed to frown of their own accord.

“You were alone, weren’t you?” Rose asked. “You were supposed to be with Donna, but you weren’t, were you? You ended up alone.”

“How will knowing the answer to that help?” asked the Doctor earnestly.

“John said that Donna...” Rose drifted off and stared at the floor. 

The Doctor shook his head and sighed heavily. “I erased Donna’s memories in order to save her. Yes, I was alone.” They glanced at each other, but Rose couldn’t hold the gaze and looked back down at the floor. “I chose to be alone. You’re not responsible for that. I made some bad choices, but I learned my lesson. I moved on, I survived Rose. Look at me!” He spread his arms wide and smiled at her, but when Rose didn’t meet his gaze his smile vanished. “Rose, look at me.”

Rose bit down on her lip trying to avoid crying again. Her eyes met his, and the kindness she found there surprised her yet again. Even those angry eyebrows had softened just a little. 

“Why aren’t you angry with me? I let you down. I was supposed to help him. I let you both down.”

“Everyone makes bad choices sometimes, and I understand now why you made this one.”

Rose shook her head. “How could you understand it? _I_ don’t even understand it!”

“Because this is survivor’s guilt,” he said gently. “You got everything you wanted, but I didn’t. How could you be happy when you knew I wasn’t. You were worried about me. Well, here I am, a thousand years older. I make it through. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

Rose blinked back tears, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak. 

“Your Doctor, John Smith, he never expected you to stop caring about me. I promise you he won’t be jealous.”

“You think you have me all figured out, but you don’t!” Rose’s tone was harsh, harsher than she intended.

“I understand survivor’s guilt, Rose. Don’t deny the truth, just because I recognized it before you did.” His voice softened. “I’m a thousand years more experienced with it.” 

“Even if you’re right, and maybe you are, you still can’t fix this!” 

“No, I suppose I can’t.” The Doctor frowned. “But you can. You’re Doctor’s not gone Rose, he just isn’t standing here.”

A light flashed on his console and the Doctor stared at his monitor so intently Rose was almost convinced he’d forgotten she was in the room. 

“What is it?” she asked. 

He studied the Gallifreyan writing and then a grin broke across his face. “I was right! That’s the planet.” He pointed at the screen which now displayed a teal colored planet. I took some scans as I fell through time. That’s the new home for the vashta nerada,” said the Doctor. 

Rose wiped away the tears from her eyes. “It looks beautiful.”

“If it works…” He looked over as she took a deep breath to calm herself. “Good. Take a moment, stop your eyes from doing that. Because if you're going there with me, then I need you at your best. I don’t need mopey.”

Rose took another deep breath. “It’s tempting, but you don’t really need my help, do you?”

“How much do you know about extracting and isolating organic polymers from the topsoil and defusing it inside a bird carcass?”

An amused smile settled on her face. “Nothing.”

“Don’t worry, we can learn together,” said the Doctor. 

Rose took a step backwards toward the door. “I belong with my team.”

There was a hint of a smile on his face as he nodded. 

Rose turned and headed for the door when a shrill whistle began wailing. She whipped back around and didn’t like the expression she saw on Doctor’s face. 

“Oh, that’s not good,” he said.

“What is it?” asked Rose.

“Sandshoes used my sonic! The swarm is back and it’s bigger,” He looked at her. “It’s big enough to kill an adult.”

“Well, take us there!” shouted Rose. 

“No! We can’t,” said the Doctor. 

“What do you mean we can’t?”

“The bait’s not ready."

“You mean the turkey?” asked Rose pointing up to the glass box. “You have to infuse it with something from that planet?”

“Yes, an organic polymer not found on earth, but one I know they can detect. You see, I always tell the monsters I can find them a new home and they never believe me. I need proof. I’m sorry, but John Smith will have to make do.”

“But it could kill him!” Rose protested. 

“He’s the Doctor,” said the Doctor. “And these readings also show he’s got a lot of fried chicken. He’s showing people the danger. We can’t take him out of there, he's saving lives. We just have to trust him. Trust the Doctor.” 

Rose nodded grimly. She realized any further discussion would only delay the Doctor from leaving and put more lives at risk. “Goodbye Doctor and Good Luck,” she said before heading out the door.


	10. Two Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title says it all the vashta nerada are hunting, and it would be horribly unfair of me to spoil anything else.

John Smith hopped on the rolling ladder and zipped around the bookshop scanning the perimeter with the sonic. He had done this every few minutes for the last hour since arriving back at the shop, but so far it showed no sign the swarm had returned. He kept the shop closed and the door locked as a precaution. He thought about calling Torchwood on the store phone, but decided against it. The Doctor would have told Rose what was happening, and he had nothing to report that the Doctor didn’t already know from monitoring his scans. He knew they would return at night; he just wasn’t sure when and he hated waiting. It gave him too much time to think. All this running about earlier almost made him feel like himself, like the Doctor, except he wasn’t. 

He jumped off the ladder and began scanning the aisles. Nothing. He raced towards the register. More nothing, which meant nothing to keep him from thinking about who he wasn’t any more. He stopped in his tracks standing in the empty bookstore holding the sonic loosely in his hand. 

“How did Rachel’s mother know who I used to be?” He said out loud.

When the books failed to respond, he sighed. It was just one of the many mysteries he couldn’t answer. “Bad Wolf” written on the TARDIS and the Doctor’s arrival in this universe we’re two more. At least he understood the vashta nerada. Their motive, survival, was easy to understand, but he wouldn’t be the one to solve this problem. The real Doctor had a plan for that. 

With nothing left to do, he slumped in the chair behind the register and spun around lazily. When he got bored with that he drummed on the desk with his fingers. Finally he pulled the sonic back out and tossed it in the air. It flipped twice and as he tried to catch it he bounced off his thumb. It landed on the floor with a clatter and rolled a short distance away. He got up and picked it back up, shaking his head. 

“The weight’s all wrong,” He muttered to himself.

He turned and caught sight of the front door. The light grew dimmer outside and it occurred to him that leaving all the interior lights might discourage the swarm from returning. He flicked the switches by the front door, leaving only the front of the store lit. Shuddering, then glancing behind him at the darkness, he realized he didn’t need to stand here trapped in the shop. If he stood outside with the sonic, he could probably catch the swarm as it returned, and he’d be in less danger in case the Doctor was delayed. He unlocked the door and stepped out breathing in the not-so-fresh city air and grinning to himself. The sonic let out its shrill noise as he scanned the nearby shadows. Passersby pretended not to notice him or the noise. The shadow cast by the bench was benign. Under the glow from the nearby streetlamp he could clearly see the gaps in the shadow matched that of the rungs of the bench so he felt confident the sonic was still working properly after its tumble, which didn’t really surprise him. The Doctor always built his sonic to be sturdy. He took aim at other potential threats, but the ones cast by the rubbish bins and the storefront of the neighboring toyshop were also benign. 

John took a slow relaxing breath. He glanced at the bench thinking he might sit down, but as his eyes lingered on it, his relaxed breathing instantly became a sharp inhale. The gaps in the bench’s shadow had vanished and it darkened by several shades. He crept towards it slowly and stooped to scan it with his back to the door. The pitch of the sonic changed confirming it. The swarm lay waiting ready to pounce. 

He stood up and was about to take a step backwards when he heard bookshop door open and shut behind him, the bell chiming cheerfully. He grimaced and silently chastised himself for having left the door unlocked. 

A chill ran up his spin when he noticed who had just walked inside. He yanked the door open. 

“Oh, I don’t think they're open,” said the woman, in a disappointed tone to her young child. She turned and her eyes widening as they fixed on the man who had just entered. 

“Jackie you need to leave now!” said John Smith.

Tony broke into a huge grin and tried to run toward him, but he didn’t get very far because Jackie was holding his hand. He waved instead, but since he held Mr. FuzzFuzz, the stuffed creature flailed his limbs as he went along for the ride. 

“Doctor? What on earth are you doing here?” asked Jackie.

“I work here!” said John in an exasperated voice. “And you need to leave now.” He said gesturing with his arms for her to head towards the door. “Out, Out, Out!”

Jackie frowned. “But I checked online it said 6 PM. I still have 15 minutes. That’s plenty of time to find a book.”

“No, it isn’t!” said John. “Not for you it isn’t. I’ve seen you shop, Jackie.” John took out the screwdriver, and started scanning the air. His eyes went wide. The swarm had moved. It was in the shop! He looked about wildly for a misplaced shadow, but he didn’t see one. “Jackie, your son’s life is in danger you need to leave now.”

“What from?”

“Trust me!” said John. He looked at Jackie, his face deadly serious. “Keep hold of him. Don’t you let go.”

“Monsters?” asked Tony.

“Yes Monsters!” said John, “you keep hold of your mum’s hand.”

“Oh alright,” Jackie sighed. “Come on Tony we better do as the Doctor says.” They turned. 

“Wait! Stop!” shouted John.

Tony stopped dead in his tracks, which forced Jackie to as well. John was suddenly glad he had spent so much time with the boy last week. Tony trusted him. He hoped that would be enough to save his life. “Well, which is it? Make up your mind,” said Jackie.

“I need you both to stand very, very still.” John circled around Tony, careful not to cross his shadows. He looked Tony in the eyes. “Tony, can you do that for me? Stand as still as you can. Pretend it’s a game. It’s like hiding from the monsters only these monsters can only get you if you move. So stand still, okay?” Tony nodded. “Good!” said John.

“Doctor, what’s going on? What is it?” asked Jackie.

“Jackie, I need you to turn slowly and face your son. It’s super hero time,” he said, “don’t let go of his hand! Kneel down, and grab his other hand. Don’t let go of him. Tony, keep very, very still,” said John.

Jackie did as John asked. She gripped both of her son’s hands. “What is it, what is the matter?” Jackie asked, “you’ve got my poor boy terrified.”

“I know. I’m sorry, but he should be. Look at me Tony. It’s good to be scared, being scared keeps you safe. I can keep you safe, but you have to do exactly as I say. This isn’t the kind of danger you can run from. You need to stay perfectly still for this to work.”

“Doctor, will you please tell me what is going on!” shouted Jackie.

“Jackie, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but your son has two shadows. He’s being hunted.”

“By a shadow?” asked Jackie. 

“Looks like a shadow but isn’t. You remember the infant from the news. That’s this bookshop,” said John speaking quickly. 

Jackie’s face grew pale. “Oh God! You got to save him!” John Smith pointed the screwdriver at Tony’s shadows. It buzzed and whined and told him the information he needed to know.

“There’s not enough of them yet. So they’re gathering in the shadow, waiting, but there will be enough soon. Now, if I’m right, even once there are enough they’ll be confused. They won’t be able to tell where you end and your son begins.” 

He stood for a moment thinking. If the vashta nerada were less clever in this universe, then maybe, just maybe this would buy him some time. He scanned the shadow again. There were enough, more than enough, but Tony remained undamaged. He grinned. “Oh I am clever! Jackey don’t you dare let go. You’re keeping him alive.” John pointed the sonic at the door and the lock clicked closed.

“You’re locking us in here with them?” 

“I’m not locking you in here, I'm keeping everyone else out.”

Bright spotlights lit the street outside and they could hear the hum of a dirigible. 

“This is an evacuation order,” said a voice booming down from somewhere above, “Exit and proceed to the checkpoint at the end of the blockade. There is an alien presence contained within this zone and we need everyone to move as fast as you can.”

“Except us,” said Jackie, her voice filled with dread.

“Right, you don’t move!” said John, “I can’t believe they let you walk past the barricade! I expected better from Rose’s team.”

“We’ve been in this zone for hours,” said Jackie. “They have Tony’s favorite playground.”

“Of course you have,” said the Doctor, throwing his hands up in the air. He circled back behind Tony and scanned the shadows. Any minute now they would have enough to take Rose’s mother and brother. 

John ran both hands through his hair pulling it back flat against his skull. He tried desperately to think of anything that might help. Surely the Doctor saw the readings back on his TARDIS. He should be here any minute, but would he be in time? The Doctor wouldn’t delay unless he had a good reason. 

“What are we going to do?” asked Jackie. Tony began to shake. Tears streamed down his face. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart, I’ve got you. You heard the Doctor. Nothing can get you as long as I’m holding on, and I’m not letting go! Not ever!”

The Doctor inhaled sharply. “I have an idea, a terrible idea, but it’s my risk to take,” said John. “They never half eat anything. They always wait until there’s enough. There must be a reason for that. If I were to force them to half eat something. It might damage them…” John grimaced then shrugged. “Only one way to find out.” 

“Doctor, whatcha gonna do?” asked Jackie.

“It’s the only way,” John whispered to himself. He didn’t appear to hear Jackie. Then his voice grew louder and he made eye contact with the boy. “Okay, Tony, in a minute I’m going to come up behind you,” said John, “It’s just me, okay. I’m going to put my hands on your shoulders.” The boy nodded, and John turned toward Jackie. I’m about to do something I should never do. I’m going to cross his shadows. If I’m wrong and there’s enough to kill me, you just keep hold of your son. Help is on the way. Rose and the Doctor are coming.”

“But you’re the Doctor!”

“The Doctor with the TARDIS, the real Doctor! He came through somehow. Don’t ask! I don’t know and there isn’t time,” said John, speaking quickly.

“Where is he?” asked Jackie. “Can’t we wait for them?”

“No, Listen! Whatever happens next, one way or another it will buy you time. So if this is goodbye just know the real Doctor is on his way, and he’ll save you. You just have to hold on until then.”

“You’re real enough for me,” said Jackie.

For a fraction of a second, a half smile formed on John’s face, but then it turned serious once more. “You might see the shadow move or vanish. If this doesn’t work out for me count your shadows. If nothing looks amiss then get out of this shop. Evacuate! If the shadows don’t look right, if they’re darker or too many of them, wait for the Doctor. He’ll have this exact location from the sonic. He’ll come for you.” 

“Doctor, Are you certain there isn’t there another way?” Jackie asked.

His face tightened with grim determination, and his eyes, fierce and fearful, provided her the answer. 

“Okay, Tony, here we go. If I scream don’t turn around. Just keep looking at your mum. Just look straight ahead at her whatever happens. Count of three my hands on your shoulders. One, two, THREE.”

John thrust his hands forward crossing the shadows and for a moment his right hand disappeared into a black cloud. “AAH!” He cried out in pain. His left hand managed to grab hold of Tony’s shoulder, his index finger brushed his neck. He doubted it would be enough to confuse them. Then the searing pain that shot up his arm blocked out all other thoughts. He cried out again.

Tony started to turn his head.

“No! Look at me, sweetheart! Keep looking at me. It’s going to be okay,” said Jackie with an impressive amount of reassurance in her voice. The Doctor almost believed it himself. He even stopped screaming. Tony didn’t turn around.

A black cloud disperse and retreat into the unlit section of the bookshop. John took several ragged breaths, but he was still breathing. 

“Oh wow, that hurts!” he said looking at his right hand in disbelief. It looked like one of those plastic 3-D cross sections for an anatomy class or perhaps a gruesome Halloween decoration. Except it wasn’t made of plastic it was his real hand. The last two digits on his right hand were almost completely stripped of flesh held together by a few ligaments. The rest of his hand was only marginally better. He felt a burning sensation that stopped just below his elbow and assumed that much of the skin on his arm had been damaged as well, but couldn’t pull back his sleeve to examine it without removing his other hand from Tony’s shoulder, something he dare not do if he wanted to live. John noticed at least his major arteries and veins in his wrist had been sealed as if cauterized. He didn’t understand why, but he let out a sigh of relief. The wounds would ooze and his hand might be damaged beyond repair, but it appeared he wasn’t going to immediately die of blood loss, so that was something.

“Doctor it’s gone. It’s hiding in the shadows,” said Jackie. “I saw it disappear.” 

“We should go,” said John, “don’t let go of him. We're not out of danger yet. It’s still around. Still waiting.”

“I’m not letting go of you either. Give me your hand,” said Jackie. John slid his left hand down Tony’s arm and found Jackie’s hand.

“Oh my god!” said Jackie, having only just caught sight of his hand, because her son had been blocking her view of it. It almost finished you off!” said Jackie. She recoiled from him and pulled her hand back to cover her mouth in shock. 

John shook his left arm frantically, fixing her with a wide eyed stare, as he silently asked her to grab his hand quickly. Fortunately, Jackie realized her mistake and grabbed his good hand, squeezing tightly, perhaps in an effort to make up for her mistake, or more likely this was the same grip she had on Tony and her protective motherly instinct extended to him as well. Whatever the reason, John breathed a sigh of relief. He noticed Jackie was still staring at his half-eaten hand.

“It’s just a flesh wound!” said John flashing a grin in between grimaces. Jackie glared at him. “Oh come on that was funny,” he said but Jackie’s angry glare did not abate.

John swallowed. “I just saved your lives. Why do you look like you want to kill me?” 

“Doctor, that was reckless.” Her reproachful tone shifted rapidly into a cheerful one as she looked at her son. “Tony, sweetheart, were going to go now. It’s okay. The Doctor saved us!” said Jackie. 

“Monsters gone?” he asked. 

“For now,” said John, “but they’re nearby. We need to leave.”

The trio moved awkwardly toward the door. John lifted his right hand instinctively but he stopped when the searing pain shot up his arm and contorted his face. He let out a gasp then looked over at Jackie. “I’ll need you to open the door.”

“How? You’ve got my hand?” she asked.

“Let go slowly but don’t break the contact,” said John. Slowly she opened her hand. John slid his left hand carefully over Jackie’s wrist. He held on gently while she twisted the lock. She opened the door. The three of them raced outside and Jackie grabbed John’s good hand once more. 

“Come on, this way,” said John tilting his head to the right towards the far end of the street. Even from this distance they could see the faint translucent purple glow of the bio-filter stretching up into the sky.

As they raced off a dirigible caught them in their spotlight. Over the loudspeaker a garbled voice announced “This block is being evacuated by Torchwood. Proceed toward the end of the road and await further instructions. Wave your hands if you understand.”

“Oh, who put this idiot in charge?” asked John.

“Keep walking. We can’t wave our hands. We can’t let go of each other.” He spoke barely above a whisper. “I’m a target now. I let go of you for a second then I’m next. They have already marked me.” He gasped and his face contorted from the pain.

“Let’s hope this is good enough. Jackie squeezed his hand tightly as she raised it in the air and swayed it back and forth. 

“Thank you. Please make your way to the blockade at the end of the street. You will be checked for contaminants before being allowed to leave the quarantine zone.”

They started quickly as they could towards the end of the road. Each hurried step John took caused his arm to sear with pain as it swung at his side. He brought his arm close to his body, but bending his elbow caused every nerve ending to scream in protest. He groaned. No matter what he did the pain slowed him down. Jackie led the trio with John and Tony falling behind in a V shape like migrating birds.

As they ran Tony tripped on a patch of uneven pavement and lost his balance. Jackie kept a firm grip on his hand, keeping him from falling over, but the motion wrenched the boy’s arm at an uncomfortable angle. He stumbled again a few moments later and began to cry.

“FuzzFuzz!” Tony shouted. 

The Doctor glanced behind them. Darkness shrouded the section of sidewalk where they had just been. Something that might have been a stuffed toy lay concealed by shadow. A moment ago it had been well lit. 

“We can’t go back!” said the Doctor. He glanced at Jackie who stared wide eyed at the dark.

“No,” she agreed. 

“Mr. FuzzFuzz!” Tony shouted again. Tears pooled in his eyes. He lunged in the direction of the darkness. 

“Tony No!” shouted John.

The boy didn’t get very far. Jackie kept a firm grip on his hand. He cried louder and continued to shout for Mr. FuzzFuzz. Jackie crouched down beside her son and John echoed her movements, not daring to let go of her hand. 

“Shhh, it’s okay, sweetheart,” Jackie whispered to her son. “Mr. FuzzFuzz is really brave, he's got special monster fighting powers. He’ll be alright on his own for a while.” 

Her words did nothing to calm the child who only screamed loud for his lost toy. Jackie glanced at the Doctor and at the darkness behind them. 

“Pick him up,” said the Doctor firmly. 

“But Doctor, if I’m not holding his hand will they still be confused? If I’m only holding on to him through his clothes will that be enough?”

“Oh, now you ask the clever questions. Jackie, there isn’t time!” The Doctor hiss

“I won’t put Tony in danger! I need to know!”

“We’re in danger the longer we stand here!” The Doctor let out an exasperated sigh. “Look, earlier I had a hold of his shoulders and they broke off their attack. Now pick him up!”

“No, but I saw it your finger brushed his neck.”

“Jackie you saw the news, that first infant’s clothing was in tatters. I’ve seen this before last time I met the vashta nerada they shredded a space suit. I don’t think they always know the difference between clothing and skin. Now pick him up!

“FuzzFuzz,” Tony whimpered. 

“Don’t always, that means sometimes they do.”

“Look, watch.” The Doctor pulled his hand free of Jackie’s and placed it on her shoulder. It was worth the risk if it shut her up and she needed both hands free carry him anyway. “See, not dead. NOW pick him up!” 

“FuzzFuzz!” Tony shouted in Jackie’s ear as she scooped him up.

“Doc-tor” said Tony, locking his tear laden eyes on him. He had a direct line of sight now that he rested his chin on Jackie’s other shoulder. “Find FuzzFuzz.”

He frowned. “Your mum is right Mr. FuzzFuzz will be fine. We’ll find him later.” 

“Doctor, I’m standing up,” said Jackie. “Don’t you dare let go of me!” 

“I have no wish to die,” said John and the pair stood up together.

“It doesn’t seem that way,” said Jackie once they were both standing. “Why cross the shadows? Why not just grab his other hand or mine? We’d still look bigger to it, wouldn’t we?”

“It wasn’t just about looking bigger. I wasn’t going to watch this.” John brought his injured hand into Jackie’s view and immediately regretted the motion. “Happen to Tony.” he said through gritted teeth. “I think I’ve hurt them and I definitely made them change targets.” 

Jackie hurried forward, as much as it was possible to hurry while carrying a toddler and trying not to dislodge the grip of the injured man holding on to her shoulder. Every few moments John glanced behind him. At first the darkness seemed to follow them, but now it seemed the normal amount of dark for the streetlights surrounding them. If the swarm still pursued them, it had changed tactics, opting for a more subtle approach. 

They reached the blockade exhausted, but with no further damage. A purple glow stretched from the ground upwards curving towards the Torchwood zeppelin high in the center of Zone 7. The containment dome sealed in anything that had not been cleared to leave. The Torchwood team assembled with scanners and brilliant white lights that rivaled the sun. There was a long queue of people waiting to get through. The Doctor, or rather John Smith, made a motion to file in behind them.

“Oh, no we don’t! Step aside!” she shouted, “This man is badly injured, we're going first!”

People started to object, including John Smith. He removed his hand from her shoulder. But Jackie shifted positions so she could hold Tony with one arm and she grabbed his hand taking him by surprise. 

“Oh no, I’m not leaving you behind.”

“Jackie you’ve got to. If I’m being hunted then we’ve just led it here to all these people. You and Tony should go. I’ll lead it away.”

“There haven’t been any strange shadows for several blocks,” said Jackie. She took a step forward and he reluctantly followed, because resisting only made his arm sear with pain. “Move aside this man needs the hospital!” said Jackie. She didn’t give him much choice as she gripped his hand tightly and cut her way through the crowd. As people saw his ghoulish hand they move out of the way, not wanting to get too close.

A man in an army uniform held a spotlight pointing it at the people in front of them, while another man scanned people with a Jegtroctic scanner. John blinked, it was Wilson. The lights on the scanner flashed green and a family of four was given the all clear. The dad went first grinning as he encouraged his frightened children. “Look, it's perfectly safe,” he said to his family and walked to the bio-filter’s energy barrier it became a glowing tunnel of purple light, and then sealed itself off once the man had made it to the other side. 

Jackie had stopped pushing her way to the front. John and Jackie watched as the mother led her two children by the hands through a purple tunnel. 

The three of them were next. 

“Mrs. Tyler you and your son are clean, but I’m sorry Doctor you’re not,” Wilson said. He held the scanner pointed at John, and the lights flashed an array of angry reds and oranges. 

“Vashta nerada detected.” The device said. “Error, recalibrating.” The lights blinked off and then oscillated between blue and violet.

“Are you sure that thing is working?” asked a voice John knew very well. His face contorted in pain for a new reason. He looked up to see Rose standing beside Wilson.

“Rose, count the shadows.” He frowned as he made eye contact with John. “Doctor, I’m sorry, but you have two shadows.”

John glanced behind him confirming Wilson’s statement. The benign one, or so he hoped, stretched off towards the crowd behind them. While the other darker shadow stretched to the right closer to Rose and Wilson.

“DNA confirmed,” Announced the scanner “Subject being hunted by vashta nerada contains DNA from the extinct species time lord.” 

_ I guess that answers that question. No time lords in this universe, except me... _

“I can’t leave. You’ll die,” said Jackie.

“Jackie, you have to!” said John, “Get your son out of here!” He loosened his grip on her hand, but she didn’t let go. 

“No! Don’t you dare!” said Jackie looking over her shoulder at him. 

Tony whipped his head around. His watery eyes locked on John. He reached out his hand towards him and squirmed in his mother’s arms. “Doctor,” Tony cried. “Doctor!” 

Pete Tyler appeared on the other side of the translucent purple energy barrier. 

“Jacks, come on!” said Pete. 

“If I let go of him he’ll die. I’ll have as good as killed him.”

“Mum, you’ve got to,” said Rose. She didn’t meet John’s eyes as she said this. 

“This man saved our lives!” said Jackie.

“Not yet, I haven’t. You need to go!” said John. He caught Rose’s gaze. Her eyes fixed on him for a moment then a pained expression formed on her face as her eyes fell upon what was left of his hand.

“I’m sorry, Doctor. I don’t know what else to do. Is there a way to get rid of them?” Rose asked. 

“Where’s the Doctor?” asked John. “If he used the TARDIS he might filter-”

“He’s not back yet!” Rose interrupted, “But there must be something I can do. Just tell me!”

John grimaced as a fresh wave of pain shot up his arm. He met her eyes as the pain subsided to a more bearable level and shook his head. 

“There is nothing you can do for me. It’s alright. Just keep your family safe,” said John. He gave Rose a brave smile, but he knew she would see right through it. Still, she had called him Doctor, and he was determined to live up to that. “Jackie, get ready to run,” he said.

“But you’ll die!” Even as she protested he felt her grip loosen on his hand.

“Better me than all three of us,” said John. He pulled his hand free. “Run!” he shouted. To his relief Jackie hurried towards the energy barrier and it became a tunnel of purple light permitting her and Tony to leave. In a moment they were safe on the other side. Pete pulled his family into a hug. He took Tony in his arms and Jackie turned around. John still stood there looking at her. 

“Doc-tor,” Tony wailed.

“They didn’t get him!” said Jackie. 

“It’s only a matter of time. Once they have enough…” John said. He swallowed and took a deep breath. “Everyone keep back!” he said and made a sweeping motion with his left arm. “I’m the next target, but the swarm’s not big. If you keep away from me, you’ll be fine!” he said, but the crowd didn’t budge. They didn’t seem to understand what was happening. Rose said something to the soldier in uniform that John couldn’t hear.

“This exit is now closed. Evacuate this area!” The soldier’s voice boomed over a megaphone. “Make your way to the other exits. The nearest exit is behind you to the left on Totter’s lane. Go quick as you can.”

The crowd started to move and John allowed himself a small sigh of relief. He’s body trembled of its own accord and he couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t tell if it was from fear, pain, or both. 

“Two weeks. That’s all I’ve lasted. Two and half weeks,” he said. 

“Doctor, just hold on!” said Rose “Don’t give up!” She started toward him. But he waved her off with his good arm. 

Two young familiar faces moved against the crowd towards John. They stopped in front of him, careful not to get near his shadows.

“Stay back!” John shouted, gesturing again with his good arm. “Bill, Joey, you take each other’s hands and get out of here.

Bill turned to look at Rose. “You have to help him! You’re Torchwood, you have to do something!”

“I’m sorry, son, there is nothing we can do,” Wilson replied.

“Do you know this man, Bill?” Asked a woman holding a pug in her arms.

“The Doctor saved my life!” shouted Joey, “You can’t let him die!” He also looked over at Rose. Rose met the Doctor’s eyes and held it. Did he imagine the tears there or were they a trick of the light.

“Bill just go! Go with your mum! Get your brother out of here!” shouted John, but the kids didn’t move.

“This isn’t supposed to happen!” said Bill “You’re the Doctor. It’s all over the web. You saved us from the cybermen! You’re a hero!”

“Please, you need to leave!” said John.

“You’ll regenerate won’t you?” asked Bill, “The rumors say you can’t die, you just change shape, right?”

“Yes, that’s right!” he lied. Even a full time lord wouldn’t survive long enough to regenerate. “So you don’t worry about me. Just go!”

The two boys left causting uncertain glances behind them. He wasn’t sure Bill believed him, but it didn’t matter. The result was the same. John trembled worse. Every nerve ending in his arm screamed at him, and now that he had a taste of what becoming a vasta nerada’s snack felt like, he knew his last moments would end in agony.

“He’s coming back!” said Rose. John looked over at her but said nothing. “He’s the Doctor. He wouldn’t leave us. You still have his sonic screwdriver. You know he wouldn’t leave without that,” said Rose. He could see her blink back tears.

“Yeah, I still have his screwdriver,” said John quietly. His eyes went wide. “I still have his sonic screwdriver!” He said again more loudly. He let out a short gasp of air that was something between a laugh and a sigh. Slowly and deliberately he wrapped his left hand uncomfortably in his left inner suit pocket. His fingers found the sonic, but the awkward angel made getting a grip on it difficult and as he pulled it out it snagged on the pocket knocking it from his grip. 

Rose moved towards it, but Wilson blocked her path. 

“Rose no,” he said, but Rose was fast and determined. She slipped past Wilson heading for the sonic. 

John dove for it and grabbed it first. Rose skidded to a halt as a shadow encircled the Doctor. He turned it on and it let out its high pitched whistle. He looked up at the sky for a moment and then back at Rose. Her eyes were full of tears. Then the blackness closed in on him blocking Rose and everything else from view. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the end.


	11. The Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are messy, confused. Rose is barely holding it together, as she tries not to assume the worst.

The Doctor stood inside Zeppelin Books very near the last place John Smith had used his sonic. From the readings he knew the vashta nerada had been here and they were hunting a young child. He only arrived a few minutes after the scans had been taken, so he expected to find them still here. He would have arrived sooner except that the TARDIS had other ideas and brought him slightly forward in time. He thought he saw a set of words flash on the screen and then the scanner revealed the empty bookshop. Having seen that it was empty meant he couldn’t go backwards. He had to deal with what was right here in front of him.

The Doctor frowned, troubled that his other self had not stayed put for a few minutes longer, although the lack of skeletons was certainly positive. Since he had no other leads he set up the bait and waited, which was still one of his least favorite activities. 

After several minutes of lingering in the doorway of his TARDIS watching the glass cage containing the turkey, he walked back over to it. The cage door lay open. Thick cables were clipped to it’s metal sides. They ran backwards into the TARDIS which stood snugly between two rows of bookshelves. 

“I know you’re here. These people are aware of you. They’re becoming much more difficult to hunt, aren’t they?” asked the Doctor, counting on the TARDIS to translate for him. “These people are under my protection, you’re killing them and that needs to stop. I can give you a new home with prey that won’t be able to outsmart you. I offer this as proof!” The Doctor gestured to the turkey. “It’s infused with a type of organic polymer not found on this planet. Go ahead, taste it.” 

After a moment, a second shadow appeared off of the turkey, but almost as quickly as it appeared it vanished. He ran back inside the TARDIS. “It’s moved, but where? It must be hunting something else.” He flipped a few buttons on the console and let out a sigh. There were no new readings from his sonic.

He ran back out outside, closed the door on the glass cage, and hauled it back into the TARDIS. Then he made a few adjustments to the controls.

“Remember when you used to take me to where I needed to be? Remember that, Old Girl? I need your help. I think the other me is in trouble.” Then he heard the shrill whistle of his screwdriver being amplified by the TARDIS sound system. “Take me there! Now!” He shouted and to his delight the TARDIS engaged without him pressing a button. His enthusiastic grin morphed into confusion when, this time, he caught clear sight of the words that flashed on the screen.

* * *

As the shadow enveloped John Smith, Rose looked on in horror. Adrenaline coursed through her urging action, but all she could do was watch. Then a familiar nose began to play, and right now it was her favorite song in the entire universe. The TARDIS wheezed into existence, solid blue replacing the formless darkness. Rose grinned, glancing at Wilson who pumped his fist into the air, but her grin faded as the TARDIS faded, dematerializing almost immediately after it had solidified. Rose and Wilson exchanged looks of confusion. 

Several army officers began talking at once. They shouted over each other asking questions and demanding answers. Finally their commanding officer ordered silence and then looked at Rose.

Rose took a breath, and with forced calm she assured them that this was all part of the plan. This was true, of course, but she hadn’t expected the Doctor to vanish so quickly taking John Smith with him. She turned to Wilson. “Bring that scanner over here. Let’s make sure it's gone.” 

Wilson scanned the area. 

“No vashta nerada detected,” chirped the machine.

“Okay good,” Rose breathed a sigh of relief, “but I want to make certain. We’ll do a sweep of the zone from the air and I want teams scanning the streets as well.”

The hours passed and Rose found it increasingly difficult to focus on her scans, especially since they were all negative. It was harder still to concentrate on each negative report her team made. She remembered vaguely something she once learned in school about it being impossible to prove a negative, and she wondered how many scans were enough to provide reasonable assurances that the entire swarm had indeed vanished with the Doctor. They could scan for the next three days straight, but because the swarm could move and avoid detection they might never be certain. The scanners didn’t possess the range nor did they have enough of them to scan the entire zone at once. As she walked up and down the streets, scanning every dark corner and finding nothing, her thought process inevitably led in a direction she had tried to avoid. _The Doctor could confirm it and the TARDIS should be back by now_. 

Rose heard the sound of loud heavy footsteps racing up the street. She turned to see Wilson running toward her with a huge grin plastered on his face, and for a fleeting moment she thought he’d seen the TARDIS, but instead he handed her a very worn stuffed toy. 

“Is this it? Is this Mr. FuzzFuzz?” He asked, still grinning at her. 

“Yeah that’s him,” Rose said. A sad smile crept across her face. “Thanks Wilson. Tony will be very happy.”

Wilson frowned. “He’ll come back, you know.”

Rose sighed. “I really want to believe that.”

“Then believe it.” Wilson grinned at her. “It’s a time machine. You said it didn’t always take him to the right places. I’m sure he just got a bit lost.” 

“I better call my mum, tell her you found him,” said Rose holding up the stuffed toy. “Please continue the scans.” She turned and walked a short distance down the road while her team continued to comb the area.

“Rose, how is he? How’s the Doctor!” Jackie asked immediately. 

“I’ve got Mr. FuzzFuzz. Do you want me to bring him over?” asked Rose, ignoring her mother's question.

“Oh, Tony will be so happy, but he’s asleep, so don’t rush over here. I know you’re busy,” said Jackie.

“Alright tomorrow then,” said Rose. “I’ll talk-”

“Wait, Rose, what of the Doctor?”

“I don’t know mum. The TARDIS hasn’t come back. I think… I think maybe…” but she couldn’t bring herself to say the words out loud. “Sorry Mum, I’ve got to go, bye.” 

Rose walked towards an alley where she found Wilson stooping to examine a rodent skeleton. 

Having spotted Rose, he stood up “It’s like all the others. They were clearly here, but there isn’t anything to suggest they still are. All these scans are negative. It really seems like the evidence is clear. The Doctor did it! They’re gone.”

“Is that the optimist or the scientist talking?” asked Rose.

“The optimist mostly,” said Wilson. “It’s impossible to prove for certain that the entire swarm is gone. All we are doing here is increasing our confidence that our assumptions are correct.”

Rose nodded. “I’m well aware of that.” she was grateful he phrased it that way instead of what it really was, busy work, a way to distract herself from the missing TARDIS. “The question is when do we stop. How many scans are enough?”

“42,” said Wilson grinning at her.

Rose shook her head. “If you’re not going to be serious-”

“No, listen, there are actually 42 areas left where the zeppelin scanners have a hard time getting a reading, mostly narrow alleys. It will be 41 once we’ve finished this one.” Wilson pointed down the alley. We should check all those and then call it a night.” 

“That’s still a lot of scanning.”

Wilson shrugged. “Torchwood needs to do something to seem useful.”

Rose glared at him.“If you think we’re wasting our time, just say so.” 

“No, sorry, I was serious. I think we should do those scans. It’s just...” he paused and his eyes seemed to lose focus. “Ever since the Doctor showed up I’ve felt sorta useless.”

“That’s just the Doctor.” Rose’s face softened. “He makes everyone feel that way, but he can also…” Rose’s voice started to break, but she continued anyway. “make you better if you let him.” Having noticed Wilson’s concerned expression, she shook her head. “I’m fine.”

Wilson looked at her skeptically. “It’s okay if you’re not, you know. The crisis is over. We can handle this. Take some time to not be fine, if you need to.”

“What I _need_ is to keep busy,” said Rose. She held up her own scanner and walked down the alley. As the light from her torch illuminated a gap between a dumpster and the wall, she gasped. “Wilson!”

Wilson hurried over and together they peered at the skeletal remains of a full grown adult in a pair of converse trainers. The shoes were the only thing that looked clean and new, everything else was ripped to shreds revealing pieces of the skeleton, but the threads she could see were denim, jeans not pinstripes. Rose let out the breath she didn’t realise she had been holding and stooped to scan the area.

“Jeans, and some kind of graphic T-shirt. Is that Olaf? The height’s all wrong. Too short,” said Wilson. “It’s not him.”

“No active vashta nerada detected,” said the jarringly cheerful voice of the scanner. 

“No, but it is someone we weren’t in time to save,” Rose said quietly. She stood up and looked at Wilson. “How long do you think he has been here?” 

“The human female has been deceased approximately 18 hours,” said the scanner with just a touch of arrogance. 

“Wilson, tell the police we found a body that needs to be identified. I’m going to check in with the rest of the team.”

Men and women in various uniforms arrived to deal with the body. A waste management truck had been called in so that the dumpster could be lifted out of the way. While that was being done Rose received word from her team that three more bodies had been found. All of them appeared to be homeless, and none of them had been identified. The female Rose found, also had no identification. It seemed the reason these four deaths had gone unnoticed was because they had already disappeared from society. 

Rose stood next to Wilson and let out a sigh as the two of them watched the body be taken away. 

“It bothers you,” said Wilson with a note of incredulity in his voice. “All you’ve seen, and stuff like this still bothers you.”

“Stuff like this is _supposed_ to bother you,” said Rose. She shook her head. “We did everything we could, but it wasn’t enough for these four people or those two kids.” _or John Smith,_ she added silently. Rose suppressed a shiver as an icy chill ran down her spine. _I don’t know that yet._ Rose forced her thoughts away from that dark chasm, but it was like the muselet on a champagne bottle had just been removed and the bottle was left to sit in a warm room.

“I’m not saying it doesn’t bother me,” said Wilson, “but I suppose, at least nobody will miss them.”

Rose looked over at him sharply. “So they don’t matter?!”

Wilson frowned. “Wait, Rose, that’s not-” He sighed. “Look, I agree with you, it’s bloody awful. All I’m trying to say is at least none of us will have to go with the police, look anyone in the eyes and explain how they died.”

“Yeah, I suppose that _is_ a relief,” said Rose quietly. The champagne bottle picked that moment to burst open. “What if,” Rose's voice caught.” What if that’s why the Doctor left?” The tears leaked out of her eyes. “Because he didn’t want to tell me he was too late.”

“No, he’s coming back,” said Wilson. “He needed to get the vashta nerada off the planet quickly. He’s just delayed. If this new Doctor is anything like the one you described, he wouldn’t just leave. Even if...”

“No that’s exactly what he would do,” said Rose. “He solves the crisis, but he doesn’t stick around to clean up the mess. That’s everyone else's job, Torchwood’s job.”

Wilson eyed her skeptically. “The Doctor you described doesn’t leave until things are over. If he hasn’t told you what happened. Then things aren’t over. And I doubt he thinks of _you_ as a mess to be cleaned up. He’s coming back. I’m certain of it.”

Rose dried her eyes on her sleeve. _Why was Wilson so insistent that the Doctor would return? He’d never been one to placate her or anyone else for that matter._ A new thought formed in her mind. 

“Wilson, you knew it was John Smith right from the beginning, didn’t you?”

“Um...well you see…” Wilson hesitated. 

“You’re not very good at lying so don’t even try. Just tell me,” Rose demanded. 

“Well, yes, of course I thought that. I hadn’t seen the TARDIS like you did.” 

“What about after?” asked Rose. 

“I was confused,” said Wilson. “Very confused, because he called me by name. My full name, I was surprised he even remembered me. The Doctor wouldn’t have known my name. Unless, maybe he met some future version of me. I wasn’t certain of anything until I examined his mobile.”

“You have his phone?”

“I found it lying in the alley. He turned it into some sort of scanning device. Then somehow it got damaged, but with a little bit of tech magic I still managed to confirm the number belonged to him.” Wilson didn't quite meet her eyes as he said this last part. 

“And the reason you chose not to tell me?”

He glanced up at her. “I’m sorry, Rose, but he had the TARDIS. John Smith couldn’t have built the TARDIS in a week, which meant he was from the future. I worried about creating a paradox by telling you. Angie agreed with me.”

“Wait, Angie knew!” 

“Um look, if you’re going to be angry, be angry with me. I made her promise not to tell you.”

Rose scowled at him. “Finish your scans,” she said before turning and walking away from the alley.

Once Rose rounded the corner, she dialed Angie, but the phone went straight to voicemail. 

“Angie, we need to talk!” Rose shouted into the phone. “Call me!” she hung up and then frowned. 

If Angie wasn’t answering then something didn’t go as planned with Margaret Blake. Memory modification teams always silenced their phones. The last thing they need in the middle of weaving a delicate story is a buzzing phone, but this should have been straightforward. It was primarily memory deletion. The family would have some fuzzy blank spots that would be explained away by stress. The real challenge came in the days and weeks ahead, making sure they found every casual acquaintance who knew about this child and deleted memories from those individuals as well, but that was a long tedious process that would take weeks of surveillance. 

They’d get all the regular contacts right away, best friends, close family, and over the next month or so they’d eventually identify the more obscure contacts. It might be impossible to identify everyone, but once the majority of the people had their memory erased anyone else would just assume they’d confused Magaret Blake’s son with some other child. They would need to check in on them for years to come just to make sure one of these stray people later didn’t trigger a memory cascade.

Those were the problems Rose expected. Memory deletion was faster initially, but required a lot of follow up. Memory modification was the exact opposite. It took much longer initially, but usually could be done on fewer individuals and required a lot less follow up. A simple deletion should have been done hours ago. In fact they should have all reported here by now.

Rose dialed Dr. Sandermatch. His phone also went straight into voicemail. She went down the short list trying each of them in turn with the same results. Rose walked back over to Wilson, who had moved down the street and was examining around a rubbish bin. 

“Plenty of ammonia, no vashta nerada,” he said as she approached him. 

“Ammonia?”

“I suspect dogs,” said Wilson. “I prefer that explanation over drunk humans.”

Rose sighed, She was too weary for Wilson’s feeble attempt at humor. “Have you heard from Angie, Sandermatch or anyone on that team?” Rose asked.

“No, I haven’t,” said Wilson, “Is something wrong?”

“Must be, none of them are answering, and they should have been done hours ago. If they’ve gone silent then they aren’t doing a simple deletion anymore. I wish somebody had told me.”

“We had our hands full here. If one of them had called you with some Margaret Blake crisis, what would you have said?”

“I'd have told them to deal with it, to use their best judgement.” Rose sighed. “I just hate being kept in the dark.” Wilson quickly became very interested in the urine covered trash receptacle, and Rose, realizing her words carried two meanings, said it again more harshly. “I really hate being kept in the dark.” 

“Listen, Rose, I’m sorry, but we both knew you’d talk to him if we told you it was John Smith.”

“If I had, things might have been different. He might-” the words caught in her throat. 

“Rose,” Wilson turned to look up at her. “Don’t you see that’s exactly the problem. If you had changed things he might not have been in that bookshop when the Doctor showed up, which would have created a major paradox, because the entire reason you wanted to talk to him was because you saw him in the TARDIS.”

“You should have told me!” Rose shouted. “You should have let me make the decision.”

Wilson stood up now, evidently he didn't like to be shouted at while crouching. “I meant what I said earlier. You’re the boss. I trust your ability to lead us. I didn't do this to undermine you. That’s not what this is about.”

“Yeah, well, what’s it about then?” Rose snapped.

“Rose, you’re the one who warned us, that moments of emotional weakness create paradoxes. You explained all that with your father in that parallel world. You said you understood why you couldn’t save him, but your emotions got the better of you, and you created a paradox.”

“I learned my lesson,” said Rose. “I’m not about to do anything like that again.”

“Have you really?” Wilson asked. “You wish I told you, because you would have talked to John Smith, but Rose, anything you might have said could have altered the future. Isn’t the lesson you really learned that day was that the temptation is too great. Isn’t that the exact speech you made before you destroyed those vortex manipulators?”

Rose fought to keep the scowl on her face. “Okay fine, you’ve made your point,” said Rose. “But I'm still not happy about it.”

Just after midnight, Rose gave the order to remove the bio-filter. She watched as the translucent purple dome shimmered and then disappeared. The speaker in her ear beeped indicating she was getting a call. She pressed the button on the side, and the static crackled in her ear a moment before clearing.

“Hi Rose, sorry we went silent, but it's done.” Angie’s voice contained the same qualities of forced cheerfulness Rose might expect from a store clerk dealing with a difficult customer. She recognized that tone because it was one she used to use. “Margaret Blake and her family are safe.”

“Good,” said Rose flatly.

“Something came up and we had to change our strategy.”

“Yeah, I assumed that,” said Rose. In some corner of Rose’s mind she knew that Angie was as exhausted as her and working up the nerve to deliver some piece of difficult news surrounding Margaret Blake. She knew her curt replies were only going to put Angie on edge, but couldn’t summon even the fake department store clerk level of friendliness. 

“Listen, I heard what happened, still no sign of the Doctor?” Angie said, sounding concerned and more like herself this time.

“No,” said Rose.

“That might not mean anything. He’s got a time machine he could still turn up,” said Angie.

“Stop parroting Wilson,” Rose snapped. “I don’t want to hear it. You two are just saying that because you feel guilty for not telling me about John Smith.”

There was silence at the other end of the phone for several seconds. “Rose, I’m sorry. I hated not telling you, but I think Wilson was right about the potential for a paradox.”

“It’s fine.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous, of course it’s not fine,” said Angie. “You’re angry, and you have every right to be.”

“I’m not even that angry anymore.” Rose sighed. “I’m too exhausted to be angry.”

“Listen, I need to tell you what happened with Margaret Blake.”

“Go ahead,” said Rose, allowing some of the weariness to creep into her voice. 

“It turns out, her son had a rare neurological condition. Her husband had just gotten the bad news as we arrived. Their son was terminally ill.”

Rose blinked, trying to force her mind to process this unexpected information. “So you’re saying if the vashta nerada hadn’t killed him, he would have died anyway?”

“Yes, probably in a matter of months,” said Angie “But that’s not the worst part. You see, it's genetic, one of the parents must carry the genetic markers for it. As awful as I felt about erasing a child from existence, I agreed with the logic of it. That is, until it also meant erasing this knowledge. They need to know. What if they want to have another child? And what of their daughter what if she carries it? You had your hands full so I made the call. I hope that’s okay.”

“That’s...” Rose began but words failed her. Her mind had barely begun to process this new information, let alone form an opinion on it. 

“We arranged for her husband to tell her, and built on the foundation of that real memory.” Angie raced to fill the silence. “We used Retcon 4 so we could craft a story. The only memory I completely wiped was Margaret’s trip to the bookshop and meeting the Doctor. According to the death certificate her son died today. Dr. Sandermatch crafted the medical story. The funeral arrangements were tricky, but we sorted it. I can fill you in on the rest of the details later, but that’s why it took so long.” Angie sighed, sounding as weary as Rose felt. “You’re not upset with how I handled this, right?”

“No, not about that. You made the right call,” said Rose. It was her turn to sigh. “And you and Wilson acted in the universe's best interest by not telling me. I’m not angry at you,” She paused as her eyes stung with tears. “I’m angry at myself.” 

“Do you want to talk?” asked Angie. 

“No, said Rose. “I want to know where he lives. Can you give me his address? I know it’s nearby and I know you have it,” said Rose, “I just want to make sure...”

“It used to be an old Torchwood lab. We’re renting it to him. That’s the only reason I have it,” said Angie. “Sending it now.” 

“Thanks,” said Rose. She heard a click as Angie hung up. 

Moments later her pocket vibrated. She pulled out her mobile and followed the GPS. It led her to a small two story building a couple of blocks down the street. The building was full of mostly empty office spaces. She climbed the stairs heading in the direction of the faded signs that read “Torchwood”. At the end of the hall she found a door with another rundown looking Torchwood sign. On a whim, she held her badge over the card reader and her eyes widened when light flashed green. Torchwood hadn’t used this facility since before she joined it. 

The door opened with a creak revealing a darkened room. 

“Hello, Doctor?” Rose called from the doorway. Silence. “Doctor? I just thought he might have brought you back here. We can help with your arm.” Again more silence. He wasn’t here.

Rose located the light switch and flipped it on. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t a hammock strung up in an abandoned chemistry lab full of long tables, bright yellow chemical storage cabinets, and assorted glass beakers. When Angie said it used to be a lab she assumed most of the equipment had been removed, but from the looks of things that was not the case. She stumbled over a familiar looking pair of trainers in the middle of the hallway. She continued looking around even though she knew it would be better to leave, but once she started she couldn’t seem to stop. 

A bunch of bananas sat on one of the tables and next to that a tea kettle sat on top of a Bunsen burner. Something that looked like pulp clung to the sides of a graduated cylinder and Rose suspected he’d been using it for orange juice. _He must have been so lonely here and it's my fault!_

Rose sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes, but more rushed to take their place. In her mind, Rose saw John Smith’s pained expression as it looked three days ago. _I was so worried about the other Doctor being lonely that I couldn’t see how I hurt this Doctor, how lonely I made him. I wasted the sacrifice he made for us and now it’s too late to fix it. I’ve failed him. I failed them both._

Rose threw herself into the hammock. Her chest heaved uncontrollably as the tears fell. She wasn’t sure how long she sobbed into the Doctor’s hammock, but eventually out of sheer exhaustion because it physically hurt to cry any longer, the tears stopped. She lay there feeling empty and alone for several more minutes. 

Rose ignored the first few buzzes in her pocket alerting her to texts, but after several more of them one she realized she’d better get up. She took a deep breath and climbed out of the hammock. She checked her phone. It was nothing urgent, but she felt the need to join her team anyways. She had already been away from them for too long. Before she stepped outside, she pulled out the small spray bottle Angie had given her, closed her eyes and let the mist hit her face. 


	12. Bad Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens inside the TARDIS after it leaves Rose on the street? Things happen. This chapter is about those things.

John Smith kept his eyes shut tightly, every muscle tensed in anticipation of the agony that would precede his final moments. The air shifted slightly in both temperature and pressure, and he expected to live for only a heartbeat more. He was so focused on the impending fresh assault to his nerve endings that he almost missed the loud mechanical groan drowning out the whistle of the sonic. As it slowly filled his conscious mind and grew louder, he realized he wasn’t imagining it and opened his eyes. The TARDIS had materialized into existence around him and he found himself lying prone on the cool metal floor still clutching the sonic in his good hand. Beside him sat a large black box. _No, not black, transparent,_ he realized. 

“I’m alive!” he gasped, “I’m still alive.” He rolled onto his back and some of the tension eased from his body, but not all of it because his arm still sent out waves of searing pain. He didn’t bother to get up. He just lay there giving into it, now that he was safe and Rose wasn’t watching. 

The Doctor looked over at his trap, and grinned. He hurried towards it. The black swarm rendered the box opaque and it blocked John Smith’s arm from view. “They listened to me! They believed me!” He glanced at the other version of himself for a moment. “Infusing the turkey worked!” Slowly he put a hand on the glass. “I’ll get you to your new home. No delays!” He promised and then turned back to the controls. 

John Smith sat up to get a better look at the trap as the TARDIS began to groan once more. The floor vibrated beneath him as he stared at the darkness within. 

“I’m really glad whatever you did worked,” said John. He looked over at the Doctor, who adjusted a setting before meeting his gaze. 

The Doctor’s eyes widened as they fell upon John’s half eaten arm. “I got you out just in time from the look of it. How bad does that hurt?”

“About as bad as you’d expect,” he said through gritted teeth.

The Doctor walked back over to him studying his hand. “How far up your arm does the damage go?” The Doctor crouched beside him. “May I?” John nodded and the Doctor pushed back his sleeve to examine it. John tensed as fresh waves of pain shot up his arm.

“Hmmm, why would they cauterize the wounds like that?”

John grimaced “No idea.”

“And you aren’t curious?”

“I am, but right now I’m more interested in a way to stop the pain.”

The Doctor grinned at him. “I can help with that. Let me patch you up. I doubt you’ll get as good of results with the human doctors, even the ones at Torchwood.”

“How are you going to do that?” asked John.

“Like this,” he said, grabbing hold of John’s injured arm.

“AAH!” cried John. “Why would you-” He stopped and stared as golden light swirled around his arm. It engulfed the damaged area which began to glow. Chunks of muscle and skin re-grew before his eyes. His entire hand became whole once more. 

“That’s twice now you’ve regrown that hand,” said the Doctor. He let go and got to his feet. 

John gaped at his hand. Slowly he moved his fingers, no pain. He looked up at the Doctor, who grinned broadly at him. John’s face slowly shifted from shock to horror. “But you wasted it!” he said, leaping to his feet. “Why would you do that?” He stared at him. If this was the Doctor’s last life then he shouldn’t be wasting energy like that. He needed that energy to keep himself strong. By giving that up, John knew he was taking years off his life.

“Oh, I have plenty to spare now,” said the Doctor.

“How did you manage that?” John asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“It’s a long story, but let’s just say I didn’t get to face number 13 with any help from you.” 

“But that’s impossible! What did you do?” asked John, giving him an intense stare.

“I didn’t steal the lives if that’s what you’re thinking. They gave them to me. It was a gift.”

“Who gave them to you?” 

“The time lords! Gallifrey isn’t destroyed. It’s frozen in a single moment in time. I did it! All 13 of me, of us. You wouldn’t remember. The timelines were all held together by the Moment, but as soon as they-” The Doctor stopped and looked at him. “Well, you’d just call it timey wimey. The point is, now I just have to find Gallifrey and figure out how to bring it back.”

“You’re bonkers!” said John and reminded himself of Donna as he said it. This Doctor couldn’t really be insane, could he? Maybe he was just delusional in this one small area. Up until this point he merely seemed forgetful and after 1000 years that was to be expected. Oh how he would have loved to believe him, but Gallifrey was gone. It couldn’t be brought back.

“It’s the truth,” said the Doctor, holding out his hand. “Let me show you.” 

John glanced from his hand to his face. “But that would be…” He paused, rethinking his words. _No, it wouldn’t be a paradox, but it might be very unsettling. So many of our memories are identical_.

“Normally you would be right. It would be disastrous for me to share minds with myself, but you and I are different people now. The old rules don’t apply.”

“I suppose you're right,” said John and took hold of his hand. Both men closed their eyes and images flooded through John’s mind. Some images he’d rather wished to forget. The Moment, the weapon he used to destroy Gallifrey, loomed in front of him, but none of the three Doctor’s pressed the button. The images that flashed before him next made him gasp. 13 TARDISes encircled his home planet. He could see the calculations in his mind. Then the planet vanished, locked away in time.”

“Gallifrey falls no more,” whispered John as the image of a three dimensional painting appeared and then faded from view. Several more scenes played out before him. As the 11th Doctor’s life force began to diminish a disturbing looking crack in the universe opened up and the time lords sent out regeneration energy proving it worked. They did exist, and they needed him to bring them back. 

John opened his eyes and pulled his hand away. He wiped away the tears and eventually he found his voice. “You changed the timeline to save Gallifrey! Or did you…was it always like that? Did we always save it and just couldn’t remember?” 

The Doctor shrugged. “It’s a timey wimey thing,” there was a hint of a smirk on his face, but then his expression turned serious once more. “I’m not sure if I did you a favor showing you that. You’ll never see Gallifrey. In this universe, the planet’s there, but it's in ruins.” He shook his head. “It’s been like that since before we would have been born.” 

John frowned, remembering the scanner said extinct. He was quiet for a moment as he absorbed this information. “Well, I’m part human now. I’m not sure I belong there, but just knowing it’s still out there. That I didn’t burn it…” John’s voice drifted off. He’s eyes lost focus as he thought of Gallifrey, of that red grass, of the citadel encased in a dome, home.

“You’re still the Doctor you know,” said the Doctor bringing John back to the present moment. “I was in your head. I know you don’t want to believe it, but you should. I saw what you did. All those people you warned and saved… and the risk you took to save Rose’s family. You could have died.”

“Without you I would have,” said John. He walked over to the glass cage. “Can they get out of there?” he asked. “You might remember they managed to climb inside sealed pressurized space suits.”

The Doctor shrugged. “It’s not a perfect trap. It was never meant to be. It was meant to give them a safe spot to remain inside the TARDIS so that the upgraded defenses don’t hurt them. Perhaps they can escape and are simply choosing not to,” said the Doctor. He walked back over the controls and made some final adjustments as the TARDIS exited the time vortex and settled into its new spacetime location. The Doctor studied the monitor and nodded. “They know I found them a home and it’s right outside those doors. Care to give me a hand?”

John wiggled the fingers on his right hand marveling at them. He grinned. “That seems only fair.”

The TARDIS doors opened revealing a meadow. Rays of first morning light peaked over a mountain ridge, casting a warm glow over the nearby forest. They walked out the door onto the soft spongy ground, carrying the glass box between them. Without words they placed it down gently a short distance away from the trees. The Doctor opened the door and the swarm rushed off into the forest not paying any attention to the two strangers who brought it there.

“Plenty of rodents here to keep them happy,” said the Doctor, “and no sentient life to worry about. The rodent's natural predators died, wiped out by disease. These rodents would eventually destroy their own ecosystem. We didn’t just give them a new home. We’ve saved an ecosystem.”

John inhaled the damp air and let it fill his lungs, but his human nose couldn’t detect the same range of chemicals he once could. Still, he believed the Doctor was right this world would thrive now. He smiled. “They believed you. It doesn’t usually work that way.”

“No, it doesn’t. I had time to find a home for them. I let you and Rose look out for the pudding brains. Normally I don’t have that luxury. My traveling companions are the same as me, visitors. They haven’t spent years forming a network that can respond in a crisis, and they don’t have 900 years experience on their side.” 

After a minute of staring up at the mountains, the two men picked up the glass cage. The turkey bones rattled as they carried it back inside the TARDIS. John helped him secure it in the lower section off of the control room. Then both men walked back up the stairs to the main control deck.

“You’ll be wanting this back,” said John handing him his sonic screwdriver. 

The Doctor slipped the sonic back into his pocket. “I’m surprised you needed it. I would have thought you’d have built one by now.”

John shrugged. “ I hadn’t gotten around to it yet, but I’m glad I took yours. It saved my life.” He could tell by the way the Doctor was looking at him something was on his mind.

“The Doctor without his sonic screwdriver,” the Doctor shook his head, “that’s not like me. Torchwood could have provided you with what you needed to build your own, and even if they couldn’t certainly Pete Tyler would have lent you some money… A man like that might have even wanted to help you build it.”

John let out a heavy sigh. “You worked it out. You know I’m not with Rose anymore.” 

“Rose didn’t want me to tell me either,” said the Doctor. 

“Did she ask to travel with you?” asked John.

“No,” said the Doctor. “Quite the opposite. I offered to take her here, but she decided to stay with her team.” 

Relief washed over him. It made his next question easier. “I had days when a second pilot would have been useful, days I found myself speaking aloud only to look around an empty TARDIS. I bet you still have those days, and I got no reason for staying in this universe,” said John. He spotted his old jacket draped over one of the railings and strolled over to it. “I’d come with you if you let me.”

The Doctor frowned. “I do still have those days. In fact, I’m going through one of those moments now. I think Clara is done traveling with me. I’ve pushed her too far,” he shook his head. “But I’m sorry, there can only be one Doctor per TARDIS. That’s how it must be.”

“I knew you’d say that, but I’m not the Doctor, not really, not anymore,” said John. He picked up the coat and put it on.

“Then why are you wearing the Doctor’s coat? You better give it back then.”

John made a face of disbelief and tilted his head. “Oh come on, we both know you’re not going to wear it. You’ve changed!”

“Yes and you haven’t changed as much as you think. You’re still the Doctor. Rose knows that now,” said the Doctor. “She just got a bit confused.”

John thought for a moment, remembering Rose had called him Doctor. He sighed. Not wanting to watch someone die and believing in them are two vastly different things. Finally, he shook his head. “No, Rose made it very clear. I only remind her of the Doctor, the man who left her. You!” 

“That was before she met me, the man who never returned for her. I’m the proof she needed to see. You almost died to save her family. Trust me, you’re looking pretty good right about now. Well, except for that coat.” He pointed at him as he said this and the corner of his mouth twitched upward.

“You don’t really want it back, do you?”

“No, you just look ridiculous in it. You always did,” said the Doctor. 

John frowned at him. “Janis Joplin would disagree with you.”

“Rose still doesn’t know what happened,” said the Doctor ignoring John’s comment about the woman who gave them the jacket. “We better go back before she assumes we’ve disappeared for good.”

“You can’t do _that_ to her,” said John, “You’ve left her too many times already!”

“I’m allowed to do that. _You’re_ not,” said the Doctor giving him a piercing gaze.

“You really believe she’ll change her mind about me?”

“She already has. You doubt yourself more than she does. Rose was just confused. We never stopped to consider…” a light flashed and the Doctor looked at the controls frowning.

“Never stopped to consider what?” asked John.

“What it might do to her to choose between us,” said the Doctor, looking up from the console for a moment. “Trust me.” Something flashed again, drawing the Doctor’s attention back to his instruments. “Hmm now that’s odd.”

“What is it?” asked John. He stepped beside him and looked at the monitor. “Why have you set it to return us after one in the morning?” He looked up at him with a stare just as intense as if he had the Doctor’s eyebrows. 

“I haven’t. Go ahead try it and see what happens.” He nodded toward the console. 

A grin flashed across John’s face, and he immediately started pressing buttons. He adjusted the controls, setting it to arrive just a few minutes after it had left. A light flashed and the destination reset to just after 1 AM. He tried a slight variation of the time and location, but again it reset to the same spacetime coordinates. Then just to see what would happen, he set it 1,000 years into the future. The TARDIS controls reset again to the same time and place.

“Have you locked the controls?” he asked looking over at the Doctor.

“No,” he said, “But do you want to know what I think?” The words “BAD WOLF” flashed on the screen as if to answer the question. The Doctor pointed at it and smiled. “The TARDIS was inside Rose’s head, and the TARDIS didn’t always take us where we wanted, but it always takes us where we need to be. After all these years ‘bad wolf’ still has some influence over the TARDIS. Rose saw all of space and time and this is her sending a message to herself. Everything that the TARDIS has done since I first arrived has been Bad Wolf trying to fix the two of you.”

John’s eyes narrowed. “But she’ll think you’ve left. She’ll think you don’t come back because I’m dead!”

“She’ll have time to realize what she’s lost,” said the Doctor. 

John gaped at him. “Our TARDIS is mean and manipulative!” 

“Will you complain if it works?” asked the Doctor. 

John pulled the lever. “Allons-y!” he said and glanced over at him grinning. 

The Doctor shook his head, but a hint of an amused smile formed on his face as the TARDIS engines came to life.

“Oh don’t pretend you don’t love it,” said John. “The thrill of opening those doors.”

“I never pretend that,” said the Doctor, his smile now obvious.

“1000 years older and all that time you never stopped. Do you think you’ll stop when you find it?” asked John. “When you find Gallifrey?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I might take a break for a while, but I’m not sure I’ll ever stop,” said the Doctor. 

The TARDIS settled with a soft clunk, and John glanced at the controls, confirming they arrived at the correct point. The screen showed a deserted London street for a moment, but then a new destination flashed on the screen and in the corner it once again said Bad Wolf. John narrowed his eyes as he studied the coordinates of the next destination. It was long before he and Rose had ever ventured into this universe.

“That’s odd.”

“No, that makes perfect sense,” said the Doctor, taking hold of the monitor and sliding it in front of himself. “You’re only looking at the temporal coordinates. Look at the spatial ones. It's right by the bookshop. I suppose this is how the owner finds out all those mysterious things. More proof you can’t come with me. That would be meddling in your own timeline a little too much.” 

“What?” John gave him a strange look, but then he realized he must have revealed more of himself than he intended during that telepathic exchange, which was probably due to his human DNA.

“Rose is outside,” said the Doctor, sliding the monitor back in front of him to reveal a very worried looking Rose Tyler hurrying towards the TARDIS. Again the hint of a smile appeared on the older man’s face. The younger Doctor grinned and raced towards the door.


	13. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Rose and the Metacrisis Doctor finally repair their relationship? It's not as clear cut as it may have seemed when he first steps out of the TARDIS. 
> 
> Also, there is a short epilogue thingy with the 12th Doctor because reasons, and I didn't want to make it a stand alone chapter.

A few barricades remained preventing any late night drivers from crashing into the TARDIS which appeared, with it’s usually noisy fanfare, in the exact place it had left hours before. Not that it was likely for any cars to be on the road, since everyone had evacuated on foot and were bussed to various hotels. This is why Rose Tyler didn’t do more than glance down the road before racing at full speed towards the glowing blue box. 

The Doctor, the younger one, opened the door just in time to watch a car that shouldn’t be there racing down the road way too fast. Rose didn’t see it. 

“Look Out!” he shouted as the car swerved and missed both Rose and the barricade in front of the TARDIS. It also managed to miss the lamppost as it drove up onto the sidewalk for a short distance before straightening out and zooming on down the road. From somewhere nearby he was dimly aware of a car door slamming and blue lights heading off in pursuit, but his focus was on the woman who skidded to a halt right in front of him. 

“Rose!” he breathed. “You okay?” He asked, unable to keep the grin off his face, because she was standing right here and she smiled back at him. 

“Yeah I’m fine,” Rose said, breathing heavily, “Car came out of nowhere.” She paused for a few moments to catch her breath. “Your hand! I can call Sandermatch. He’ll be able to…” 

A smirk flashed across the Doctor’s face as he showed her his hand, wiggling his fingers to prove to they were all back to normal. His smirk faded rapidly when Rose didn’t smile back. Those couple of pieces of fried chicken he had eaten early settled like lead in his gut. Rose wore the same expression now as she had the night she told him everything was _fine._ The realization crashed over him. _She’s happy I’m not dead, but that’s where it stops. She still wants the real Doctor._

“But how?” Rose asked, her brow wrinkled as she stared at his hand.

“I brought him back to you better than how I found him,” came the Scottish voice from inside the TARDIS. A moment later the older grey haired Doctor poked his head out. 

Rose grinned at him. “Is that why you took so long?” she asked him. “Did you go to some alien planet that regrows arms?” The older man shrugged and Rose looked at the younger one instead. She seemed to be searching his face for answers. “Is that what happened?” 

“He fixed me.” The younger man tilted his head in the direction of the Doctor. “But why we showed up when we did is a bit of a mystery.” He struggled to keep his voice impassive as he spoke. He didn’t dare reveal their theory, because Rose’s face told him Bad Wolf got it wrong. Then he revised that thought. _No, of course Bad Wolf didn’t get it wrong. There must be some other reason Bad Wolf had done all this. Maybe the vashta nerada posed a bigger threat than we realized. I suppose, if I’m lucky I’ll never find out, but this was never about fixing us._

Rose fixed the older Doctor with a questioning look, evidently hoping for more details regarding the younger man’s regrown arm. She stood so very near the younger of the two of them. If he had reached out an arm he could have pulled her into a hug. He didn’t of course. If Rose had wanted that she would have already done it. He had longed to see her, but now, though she stood in front of him, she seemed farther away than ever. 

The Doctor smiled kindly at Rose, something he managed to do well in spite of his very cross eyebrows. “He’s part human.” The Doctor met his younger counterpart’s eyes. “But he’s still the Doctor, every bit the same man I used to be.” The younger man’s face grew panicked, but the Doctor didn’t notice because his eyes now found Rose. “Just see him.” 

Rose looked back at the younger man, and he smiled uncertainly at her. It took every ounce of strength he had to force himself to look at her. The disappointment he found on her face destroyed the few remaining shreds of hope he had left. She tried to conceal this disappointment behind a mask of forced cheerfulness, exactly like she had done just before finally admitting that, no, everything was not fine. He looked over at the Doctor. Why was he smiling? When the Doctor finally looked at him, the younger man shook his head silently asking him to stop trying to convince Rose. _We need to let her go. Can’t you see how this is hurting her?_

The Doctor frowned glancing between the two of them. His eyes finally settled on Rose. “Oh he doesn’t believe it. He doubts himself. It’s rare for someone as arrogant as him, but it can happen, especially with all that human Donna Noble churning around inside him. But, Rose, think about what you witnessed today, and ask yourself is he different in any way that matters?” 

Rose’s eyes met the younger man’s once more, and for a moment he thought… Had she been crying? He blinked. No, it must have been a trick of the light.

Her expression remained cheerful but distant, the sort of friendliness he'd seen her use with strangers. Probably something she learned to do working at that shop, before he, before the Doctor had blown it up. He looked down at the payment wishing he could dart back inside the TARDIS and run off somewhere, anywhere. He couldn’t bear staring into Rose’s eyes, eyes that used to see into his core, but now saw only a stranger.

“You _are_ the Doctor,” Rose said. Her tone held so much conviction that he almost believed it, until he looked up. “You always have been. You saved all those people... my family. I made a terrible mistake. I’m sorry.” 

The younger man stared at Rose, trying to puzzle out the true meaning, because the words and tone didn’t match the expression on her face. Maybe he was still the Doctor. Maybe that could be true, but if it was, it still wasn’t enough for her. The disappointment in her eyes confirmed it. He shook his head. “You don’t mean that,” his voice trembled as he spoke. He took a breath and steadied it before continuing. “Maybe you want it to be true, but that’s not the same thing. I can see the doubts on your face.” 

“What?” Rose filled that word with so much emotion that the younger Doctor almost believed he’d misjudged her. He desperately wanted to be wrong, but as he studied the face of the woman he loved most, in not just one but two universes, he knew he’d been right. Again her voice contradicted her face.

“It’s okay Rose. Just be honest. You’ll never feel for me what you do for him,” he inclined his head toward the older man. 

“Sandshoes, what are you doing?” whispered the other Doctor. 

The young man responded only by glaring at him. 

“I know I hurt you,” said Rose looking at the younger man. The tremor he heard in her voice caused him to look back up at her. “And I’m sorry.” The Doctor shut his eyes tightly, again the voice didn’t match the friendly store clerk expression and he couldn’t bear it. “Maybe you don’t want to give me another chance,” Rose’s voice broke as she said this last part. “But you’re the Doctor. I don’t doubt that. I should never have doubted that.”

The younger man’s eyes flew open suddenly and he rounded on the Doctor. “What have you done to Rose?” he shouted.

The older man looked over at him perplexed. “I haven’t done anything. I presume this is how she really feels. You should listen to her.”

“No, even you must be able to see it. There is something very, very wrong here.”

“Doctor?” Rose asked, and only now did her confused expression match her tone. 

The younger man shook his head. He wasn’t sure which one of them Rose was addressing, but he decided to speak anyway. “I never meant to trick you,” he glanced at the Doctor. “He might have, but I never did, and I won’t have anyone coerce you into this now. I would never do that to you.”

“But that’s not-” She didn’t get to finish.

“Rose!” The younger Doctor put both hands on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes. “Listen to me. Listen to yourself. Fight it Rose! Whatever they’ve done to you, fight it, because I know this isn’t you. Someone’s forcing you to say these things. I can see it. You’re glad I’m alive, but I’m not the one you came searching for when the cracks between words reappeared. I’m not the one you miss. The man you miss left you.” 

“No, one’s forcing-” Rose began, but again the younger Doctor interrupted her.

“And maybe that’s how you fight it. With a nice healthy dose of anger. He abandoned you Rose. Twice! He left you on that beach. He’d never admit how he felt because it would hurt too much to lose you. That man was an idiot, trying to protect himself from more pain when it was always going to hurt to lose you! It might have even hurt more because he never got the words out.” He glanced at his counterpart who’s mouth hung open. The confusion on his face began morphing into something else. Was that finally understanding? Understanding that came 1000 years too late. “Whatever they’ve done to you, Rose, no matter who’s done it. I’m going to stop it, because as much as I want to be with you. It can’t be like this. I won’t rest until-”

A blunt force collided with the back of the younger Doctor’s skull causing pain to radiate outward in all directions. He staggered, but maintained his balance. Instinctively he clutched the back of his head while turning around just in time to register the older Doctor’s hand in the air. He waved at him and smiled innocently.

“Oi! What'd ya do that for?” he asked, rubbing at his head.

The older man smiled. “The vision centers of your brain clearly needed a reboot,” he replied in his most cheerful Scottish accent. “No one is coercing Rose. I promise you that.”

“An occipital lobe reboot?” The younger Doctor scowled at him and continued rubbing at the back of his head even though the pain started to subside. “But that would mean…” His eyes widened and the Doctor nodded. He looked back at Rose and his mouth fell open when he saw the black smudges around her red puffy eyes. 

“Rose has this terribly confusing perception filter,” said the Doctor. “I probably should have mentioned that. You see it now, don’t you? Or rather you don’t see it.” He leaned towards the partial time lord as if he didn’t want to be overheard. “Her eyes have been leaking. Judging from the state of her I’d say they’ve been doing that off and on again for several hours. She looks terrible.”

“Thank’s a lot,” said Rose, but she didn’t really sound angry. She blinked and more tears leaked out. 

“And there they go again,” said the old Doctor, in a conspiratorial tone. “You were seeing Rose how you expected, how you feared, not how she really is.”

“I didn’t want my team to…” Rose sniffed, “see me like this. I’ve been a mess, I’ve been a mess without you, but if you don’t want...If I’ve hurt you too much...”

“Rose.” He took a step towards her. “That was all real, everything you said?” Rose nodded and cried harder, and he found his own eyes were leaking just a little. He pulled her into a hug squeezing her tightly. 

“I thought I lost you,” Rose whispered, squeezing him back. “I was so scared I’d lost you forever.” They held each other for a long moment. When they finally broke apart, she said “I thought he didn’t want to come back and tell me.”

“No, that would be cruel and cowardly,” said the other Doctor crossing his arms in front of him. “That’s not me.” 

Rose glanced up at him and gave him a small smile. “Did you really forget I was blond?”

“He thought you were ginger,” said the younger Doctor. He stuffed his hands in his coat pockets and grinned at her. “Imagine that, Rose Tyler a ginger.”

“He thought I was Maragret Blake?” asked Rose.

“Yep,” He tilted his head in the older man's direction. “Still want to go off with him?” He asked it as a joke, but the older Doctor zeroed in on the doubt behind that joke.

“Sandshoes, don’t be an idiot!” The older Doctor shot him a warning look from underneath his attack eyebrows. 

“No, you didn’t give her a choice,” he fixed the Doctor with a stare. “You manipulated Rose into staying with me. You tricked her!” He let out a sigh and his voice grew more quiet. “And I helped you do it. Come clean, admit it. Rose deserves the truth. Even if it is 1000 years too late. 

“It wasn’t a trick.” Rose shook her head. “Donna had it right when she said gift.” She glanced over at the man who was still inside the TARDIS. “It was a sacrifice, and I let him make it. We both did.” Her eyes met his, once more. “I love _you_!” 

“And you also love him.” He tilted his head just perceptibly in the other Doctor’s direction. He didn’t mean it as an accusation. There wasn’t any jealousy behind those words. That would have been an absurd notion, being jealous of himself. He simply spoke the truth as plainly as he saw it. Rose loved them both.

“Oh, of course I love him,” said Rose. She glanced over at the older Doctor then looked back at him, “He brought you back to me! My Doctor, he kept you safe.” 

For a moment the younger Doctor said nothing. He searched her face and found no contradiction. “I believe you, Rose, but, I believed you before back in Norway.” His throat tightened. “Remember that night I couldn’t sleep, and you assured me you still believed I was Doctor.”

“I meant it then, same as I do now,” said Rose. 

“But only a few days later you changed your mind, so I need to understand. Before he leaves for good without you, I need you to be sure.”

“I am sure!” There were tears in her eyes. “I never doubted you. I convinced myself that you weren’t the Doctor, because that was easier than admitting the truth.”

“Which is?” he asked. 

Rose wiped the tears away. She took a breath. “I felt guilty.”

“Guilty? Guilty about what?” 

“You already said it outloud, and still you don’t realize,” said the older Doctor. He nodded at Rose. “Tell him.”

“You’re right, I couldn’t just stop caring about him.” 

“I never expected that, he’s me how could I?” The younger Doctor’s face lit up with understanding and he tilted his head back towards the sky. “Oh, I should have realized… You and I were fine. We were happy, until you thought he might be traveling alone. This started after I told you my fears about Donna.” 

Rose nodded. “If he was with Donna I knew he’d be alright.” 

“You were worried about him,” The younger Doctor’s face softened. “You were worried about what being alone would do to him. I can’t fault you for that.” 

Rose shook her head. “It’s more than that. He was alone because I’d picked you. It felt like my fault. Being happy with you, and I was happy, but when you told me about him it all felt so selfish,” Rose paused to take a breath and compose herself before continuing. “I got everything I wanted, but he got nothing.” 

“Survivors guilt. We should have anticipated this!” said the older Doctor. “Look at how hard Rose fought to stay beside us, absorbing the time vortex, nearly getting swept up into the void. We’re a pair of idiots for not realizing what this would do to her.” 

The younger Doctor nodded then he looked at Rose. “He survived. That’s what you needed to see. You needed to know he was okay.”

Rose nodded. “Yeah, I think so. He’s moved on. He doesn’t need me. I’m not going to travel with him.” She looked over at the other Doctor. “But you shouldn’t travel alone. Promise me you’ll go find Clara. Even if she’s angry, give her time, which you can do with the TARDIS. Give her all the time she needs, and when she’s ready go talk to her, because I doubt she’s done traveling with you. Even if I’m wrong, she doesn’t want you to disappear forever. None of us ever want that.”

Rose turned back towards the younger Doctor. “Can you forgive me?”

“Rose, I already have.” He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I only wish you had told me what was wrong sooner. If we had just talked...”

Rose shook her head. “You did try to talk to me and look what happened. I didn’t understand any of this last week. It took the Doctor to show it to me.” Rose pointed at the older Doctor. “I’ve been an idiot and I’m sorry, but I don’t think we could have changed this.”

“A fixed point?” Asked the younger Doctor. He glanced at the older one. 

The old Doctor stuck his head out of the TARDIS and looked up. “A Bad Wolf.”

Rose looked up at the lettering. “Why does it say that again? What does it mean?” 

“You must have foresaw this as Bad Wolf,” said the younger Doctor. “You saw what happened to us and found a way to fix it.”

“Because sometimes the TARDIS brings me exactly where I need to be.” The older Doctor tapped at the doorway. 

“You needed to know we were happy,” said the younger Doctor. He met his counterparts eyes. “You always want them to be happy after you’ve gone, and you always worry they’re not.”

“You’re definitely still me,” said the Doctor. 

“Oh My God! The baby…” Rose gasped and let go of the Doctor’s hand taking a step backwards away from them. “Margaret Blake’s baby! I must have seen that too.”

“Rose, no,” The younger Doctor spoke quietly. He shook his head. “No, I refuse to believe that,” Their eyes met. “That must have been an accident, a mistake. You didn’t kill a baby!” 

Rose glanced between their equally grim faces. 

“I think… I think maybe I did,” she said quietly, “It turns out he was terminally ill.” Rose sighed. “Maybe this was better? or at least not worse…” 

They both gaped at her. 

The Doctor with only one heart was keenly aware of it’s beating as he took hold of Rose’s hand. “I believe in you,” he said quietly then squeezed her hand. “If you made that choice while you had the time vortex in your head, then it must have been the right one.” 

“Of course, that’s where I went wrong. She thought it was a test,” the older Doctor whispered almost to himself. He noticed they were both looking at him. “Sorry, ignore me. I’m an idiot.” But neither one of them did. He frowned before continuing “Look, sometimes there are no easy choices. Sometimes even us time lords don’t know what the best choice is. What’s important in those moments is that we have the support from those we care about.”

“Do you think I made the right choice?” asked Rose.

“You made it and things turned out okay, didn’t they? Maybe not for everyone, but you can’t always fix that. I trust and respect your choices Rose, same as he does.” He gestured to the younger Doctor. “Don’t you ever let Rose think otherwise.”

“I made a lot more choices as Bad Wolf than I realized,” said Rose. Her eyes found the younger Doctor. “It was written on the TARDIS the day you saved those kids. The day you saw me, and I thought...”

“That’s all the same day for me,” said the younger Doctor. “It’s been a long day.”

“I thought you were him, but you _are_ him!” her voice faltered. “All I could think about the last few hours was how sad you looked just before the doors closed. I kept seeing your face and thinking I’d never get the chance to fix this.” 

She drew him towards her. He knew what she wanted, he wanted it too, but not yet. Instead of meeting her lips he whispered in her ear. “We have fixed it, Rose, but hold that thought, because as soon as we kiss he’s going to leave. I think we should say goodbye properly this time, don't you?”

A hint of a smile appeared on Rose’s face. She nodded. 

He turned to the other Doctor, and shook his hand. “It’s good to know that in at least one universe we’re not as extinct as those scanners seem to think. I hope you find Gallifrey, and in the meantime listen to Rose and find Clara. Don’t be alone. We’re both bad at that.” 

“Gallifrey?” Rose asked, glancing between them.

“I’ll let him explain,” said the older Doctor with a slight tilt of his head towards his counterpart. “Now, you too take good care of each other. I don’t want to find myself back here unexpectedly.” He smiled at them.

“Well, if for some reason you do, Torchwood is always here for you, Doctor,” said Rose. “It’s in writing, so as long as Torchwood exists it shall offer assistance to the time lord known as the Doctor, even if it’s in another 1000 years. Thank you, Doctor, for everything.”

“No, thank you, Bad Wolf. I needed this too,” said the man inside the TARDIS, “Now, go ahead don’t put it off any longer on my account. I’ll provide the theme music.” He took a step back deeper inside the TARDIS. 

The Doctor, the part human one, pulled Rose toward him. His single heart pounded in his chest as his lips met hers. They heard the doors of the TARDIS swing closed and the high pitched mechanical gasping noise which meant it was leaving. He kept expecting Rose to pull away from him to watch the TARDIS vanish, but this time Rose only held him tighter, as if she feared the sound alone might be enough to take him from her. A breeze kicked up, tossing Rose’s hair wildly around. Only after the wind died down and the sound faded did they break apart. The Doctor gently brushed a few stray hairs away from Rose’s eyes, so he could get a better look at her. 

“You’ll come back home, right?” Rose asked. Her eyes pleaded with him. 

He nodded. “Home, I really like the sound of that.” He looked at her, but made no motion to leave. 

“Well, let’s go,” said Rose. “You got to come the short way around, skipping over all those hours in the TARDIS, but I’m exhausted.”

“Oh, I’ve had plenty of extra hours crammed into this one day,” said the Doctor. “Not that is a competition, but I’m tired too.” 

“Okay, all the more reason to head home.” Rose tugged at his hand, but the Doctor didn’t budge. 

“Home,” he whispered as he gazed up at the sky. “He’s got to go find Gallifrey.”

“How is that possible?” asked Rose, joining him in his attempt at stargazing, though the city lights made it difficult to see many stars.

He turned toward her. “It turns out I didn’t burn it.” He pulled her towards the sidewalk as a crew arrived with a truck to remove the rest of the barriers. 

Wilson appeared with few other Torchwood faces in tow behind him. “Sorry, I asked that crew to give you some space,” said Wilson, “but they lost patience. I think they are anxious to go home.”

“Aren’t we all,” said Rose, smiling at them. She congratulated them on a job well done then said. “Go home, get some sleep, because you all know how this works. Tomorrow, the press will be hounding us and I expect you all back at Torchwood so we can do damage control.” The group of weary faces nodded at her before scattering in different directions. 

When they were alone, save for the construction crew busying itself with the barricades, “You care what the press thinks?” he asked.

“This evacuation ran as smoothly as it did because people listened to us. Since we’re not an anonymous organization, like Jack’s version, it’s important the public trust us. It makes it easier for us to do our jobs in a crisis,” said Rose.

“Rose Tyler, you’re brilliant,” He beamed at her. 

A small smile appeared on her face. “I learned from the best.”

“Oh no, you didn’t learn that from me.” 

“Who said I was talking about you?” Rose smirked at him.

“Um… Well I just… who were you talking about?”

“You were saying about Gallifrey?” Rose asked. 

“Right Gallifrey!” He said, well aware of Rose’s deliberate subject change, but the subject was too important to him. He placed his hands on her face. “It’s easier if I show you what he showed me.” 

Rose nodded and closed her eyes. The Doctor took a breath, and did the same. As gently as he knew how, he connected with Rose’s mind. 

They stood like that for several moments as he allowed the images the Doctor had showed him to wash over them both. He sensed first her confusion, then shock as she began to understand. Finally, as the last image faded, her sense of wonder and joy matched his own. He liked being connected with Rose this way. It soothed him in ways few other minds ever had. He sensed she found comfort in it too, so he left the connection open for a few more heartbeats allowing their love for each other to help heal what had broken between them. Then he let out a breath and pulled his hands away.

“That’s incredible!” said Rose. “All this time you thought you destroyed it.” The smile disappeared from her face. “But you're stuck here in this universe. You’ll never see it.”

The Doctor smiled at her. “But he will. Oh, it might take him another 1000 years, but he’ll get there. He brings Gallifrey back, and I know that because otherwise he could never have traveled here!”

Rose gaped at him. “You once said your people could make travel between realities possible. You think that’s how he made it through!”

He grinned. “That’s exactly what I think. He fell through time from some point in the future, so that means that at some point in the future. Travel between universes is possible.”

“But what about you, Doctor? That’s your home, and you just gave it up.” Rose swallowed. “You gave it up to be with me.” 

The Doctor nodded. “Yes, I did, because it’s not home, not any more.” He reached for her hand. “Eventually he’ll find his home, but he’s going the long way around. I’m really lucky because I’ve already found mine. Here on planet Earth with you.” He gave her hand a squeeze. 

One corner of her mouth tilted upward. “You may think home includes the entire planet, but I’m not going to sleep in the middle of the street,” she teased him, smiling at first, but a frown soon clouded her face. 

The Doctor understood why. Hints of Rose’s recent memories had passed between them. “No, nobody should have to do that,” he said somberly. 

She tugged again at his hand. 

He shook his head. “My flat is closer. Just two blocks that way.” He pointed. Then he frowned. “It might not meet your expectations, but I’ve brought you worse places.”

“Well, that hammock is kinda small,” said Rose, “But I think we can make it work.” She grinned at him. “Although, I’m going to need a shower in the morning.” 

“It has a shower,” said the Doctor defensively, “Wait, how did you…”

“Yeah, it _does_ have a shower, a nice bright red one, and an eyewash station,” said Rose grinning at him, “A must for every flat.”

The Doctor’s eyes narrowed. “Rose Tyler, shame on you, using Torchwood clearance to break into my flat.” For a moment he very nearly succeeded in keeping his tone serious, but then a smile broke across his face. 

Rose had started to make an apologetic face, but catching sight of his expression she smiled too and gave him a shove in the direction he had pointed in earlier. “Go on then, lead the way.”

The Doctor steered Rose off towards his place. His mouth turned up in a half smile as he imagined them together in the hammock. 

Gradually as they walked he became aware of a growing warmth in his chest, at first he thought it might be his mobile or his sonic overheating, but then he remembered he didn’t have either of those. He stopped abruptly and fumbled in his inner pocket. 

Rose looked at him with concern as he made a face and clutched at his chest. “Are you okay?” She asked. 

His hand closed around the object producing the thermal fluctuations and he began to laugh. “Rose!” He grinned at her and held out the TARDIS coral. He had shown it to her that first night in Norway and he knew she recognized it in spite of the growing confusion on her face. “Put your hand on it.”

Rose did as he asked and smiled. “It’s warm, really warm.” Her hand began to glow red the way it would if she held a really bright torch up to it. She pulled her hand away revealing a warm glowing light. It flickered for a moment and then went out.

“Does this mean you can start growing a new TARDIS?”

“Not yet,” he said, “It should have stayed glowing much longer, but it’s a start. It’s a message. It’s accepted me.” 

They walked the rest of the way to his flat in stunned silence. As he opened the door and Rose stepped inside he thought home has never been a planet or a flat or even a TARDIS. Home is a feeling, a warm and cozy feeling knowing you’re safe from the dangers the universe throws at you. It lives inside of you and inside of the people you love. It shows up in quiet moments, like this one. He would soon move out of this lab, and some time after that he’d grow the TARDIS. Maybe they would get a house. Together he and Rose would find new adventures, but tonight he’d found that feeling. They looked at each other and Rose pulled him towards her. Tonight he’d found home.

# Epilogue: Impossible Things 

A grey haired man who looked human but wasn’t sat on a bench outside a bookshop. He flipped through a book to reacquaint himself with it. The bell to the bookshop door chimed as a thin woman with silver hair stepped outside. She tapped on the bench. 

“No one ever sits here,” she said. 

“Oh, is that so. Well, I must be no one then,” said the man, feeling like this sort of sarcastic response was something one of his younger regenerations would say, but today he felt more in touch with his past selves. Given all that had happened in the last few hours he welcomed this change. Sometimes it did him good to remember. 

“What is that you're reading?” she asked.

“Oh, it’s quite impossible. It’s about this man named John Smith… He’s a time traveler, but he doesn’t know it.” The man grinned at her. “Of course, most of the time he _does_ know it, but not in this book. In this book he’s purposely forgotten.” 

She sat down next to him. “Impossible Things,” she said. 

“Yes, and you want to know something else.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “This is the only copy in the entire universe, and it’s signed.” 

“Did my daughter put you up to this? She accuses me of hiding the rare signed copies and refusing to sell them.”

“Oh, is this your bookshop?” he asked. 

“No, not anymore.” It’s in my daughter’s now. I just like to visit.”

“Well, I’m sorry to say I didn’t buy this book here. I bought it over a thousand years ago, in a different universe. I was a completely different person back then.”

The woman laughed. “You think because you're reading a book about impossible things you can say any impossible thing you like.”

“Yes, I do. In fact I’m only just getting started.” He grinned at her feeling like maybe he should have a long scarf on today. The last time he felt this ridiculous had been when he faced down Robin Hood with a spoon. A ridiculously over-sized scarf was exactly the right metaphor for his approach to this conversation. He needed to be colorful, warm, and friendly with just the right amount of sensationalism to keep this woman’s attention.

“Oh really.”

“I’m supposed to tell you the bookshelves bring the darkness. And also something very cryptic.”

“That wasn’t cryptic enough?” she asked, failing to keep the amusement off her face.

“Perhaps it was.” He grinned at her. “You’re supposed to tell your daughter these things that I’m telling you, but not yet. The other one was something about a man denying his true nature. It’s all in here.” He waved the book in the air. “So it doesn’t matter if I say at out loud. I added a few handwritten pages, so you don’t forget. Impossible Things Part Two, if you will. I want you to have this book.”

“Why?” she asked suddenly suspicious.

“Because you own a bookshop, so you obviously like books. Do I need a reason beyond that?”

“I’ve finally met someone more eccentric than I am.” She turned to go. 

“Please wait, I’m serious, I’d like you to have it.” He stood up and held it towards her. 

She frowned, but curiosity seemed to win and she took it. She spent a moment studying the cover. Then flipped it open and began reading the summary on the inside of the jacket. “John Smith, fanciful dreams, love, aliens?” She murmured. “Well this book certainly has it all.”

“Sounds interesting doesn’t it? Promise me you’ll read it.” 

“But I can’t keep this, you're still in the middle of reading it.” 

He grinned at her. “Spoken like a true bibliophilia. It’s obvious from your expression that you I’m mad. You just want to get rid of me. The fastest way to do that would be to take the book and leave. Yet, you find it repugnant to take a book someone isn’t finished reading. Well, let me put your mind at ease. I’ve already read it. I know the story literally from the inside. I was there. It’s about me. I’m that time traveler.” He pointed at the book. 

“Uh huh, sure you are.”

“Haven’t you ever wondered why John Smith is such a common name?” He asked. 

“No, I can’t say that I have.” She favored him with an amused yet skeptical look. “I suppose, you’re going to tell me that’s your fault, because as a time traveler you’ve overused that alias.” 

He smiled at her, impressed she had caught on so quickly. “I suppose that could be the reason.” He extended his hand. “Smith, John Smith, I’m also called the Doctor. John Smith my alias, it's the name I use with strangers, but the Doctor is what I’d prefer.”

“I’m Kathleen Mathews.” She shook his hand hesitantly. Then asked “So, John Smith, why have you come back in time to give me a book?”

He shrugged. “It’s a much less dangerous adventure than I’m used to, but every so often even I need one of those.”

“Well, thank you, Mr. Smith,” she said holding up the book. “I’ll add it to my reading queue.” She gave him one last curious look before she turned to leave. She walked down the block a short distance and stopped. “What in the world is this doing on the sidewalk?” A tall blue rectangular police box stood blocking her path.

“Oops, bad parking job, I’ll just get this out of your way.” The Doctor hurried passed her. 

“You put this here?” 

“Yes, and I can move it. It’s not a problem.” He opened the door. “That is unless you fancy a ride?” he asked, stepping inside and walking towards the TARDIS controls. “I could show what your bookshop looks like in 200 years. It's still here. Zeppelin Books lives on.”

The woman studied the strange spatial dimensions in front of her. “But it’s just a box?” Her hand found the edge on one side and she peered around the corner. She did the same to the other side, and then finally looked back at the Doctor who stood inside an impossible thing, her brow wrinkling “That’s some sort of illusion.”

Doctor stood at the controls grinning. “No illusion. Come see for yourself.” 

She stepped inside. “It’s bigger on the inside.”

His grinned widened. “Just like a book.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey thanks for reading!
> 
> There are a few references in this chapter to stuff that happened in Norway that tie into a story I have in the works, but is not published yet. It's a prequel, of sorts, which is a lot shorter (2 or 3 chapters). That one I plan to finalize in the coming weeks, and post soon.
> 
> I do have some very rough drafts of what comes next for Rose and the Doctor, but I'm planning on shifting focus on a different topic entirely, so it could be some time before I get to that one. Once I do sort through it, I suspect it might turn into several stories.


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